Some people sugar coat ideas and share them with a myriad of stories to soften the concept they want to share. They hee and haw around the truth so long, you forget the main point. I’m not going walk down the sugar fairy lane today. The reason? You need the straight talk. I need to give the message. There’s time for sugar coating later.
A fulfilled life is one where you walk in your own integrity. Straight up if you want to live life in a more fulfilled way, stop the drama of comparison. Cease comparing yourself to others.
Then, there is the treadmill of people pleasing behaviors.
Put yourself first, instead of dropping everything to help someone else every single time they make a sound. If you don’t take care of yourself every day, then stop doing what is important for others (at work or some family members). As a side note, I am not talking about caring for your children, because if you have children you know you gotta care for them daily.
I am talking about the glare, stared done on Joe’s lawn. While you fume because he mowed it at angles and you didn’t mow your lawn for a month.
Maybe it’s about ‘Maggie’ at work who asks you for the 50th time to type up the report she forgot to do at the last minute. She remembered, and then buttered you up by stating how you are such fast typist.
Or the shopkeeper who noticed you in the store, and asks if you can take their trash out, again. All because you offered once to help them on a busy Monday and they never forgot.
These are time-stealers and mind garbling irritants, which steal your health and vitality.
A good deed to help a neighbor, co-worker, or shopkeeper is a nice gift. Don’t get me wrong. What I am talking about is rolling over and allowing someone to take advantage of your kindness and use you to meet their needs. Not cool. Recognize when you have done the same. Cease those behaviors.
Your Values
Your time and resources need to align with your integrity. Therefore, spend time and resources on what is in alignment with your values. You live in integrity when you your life is consistent.
Think about the words in the chart below and feel whether or not the word resonates within you. Go ahead, pause for a moment, say a word and then close your eyes.
Where does that word fit in your innermost parts?
Value’s Word Chart
Once you have found your top 3 words, write them down.
Look at the words and consider all the ways those words have impacted your life. I put my value words on a document, printed and then hung the words over my home office desk.
When I start to feel pressured by others, or feel incapable of goal attainment, I read my words aloud. This helps me internalize my values again, and empowers me to act. Let’s face it, we all have days where we don’t want to give any more of us and feel skinned to the inner core. Those are the days you rely on the written words.
They are signposts to remind you of who you are in this world.
Your lawn matters
Grass grows where you water it. Think back to Joe’s lawn. How beautiful his lines and the angle of the cut looks, and how green his grass is. Maybe you feel jealousy.
What can you do about it? Let’s be honest and not mince words: grow greener grass. Ask yourself what can you do to improve your lawn? Water it? Plant it? Fertilize the soil?
Lawns aside, where else do you allow your mind to wander in envy? Someone has a new car? Or a new technological gadget you dreamt of? What about the new art style you have not tried and someone you know is doing the very thing and excelling? The idea of jealousy and the belief you own or are owed something or someone, destroys the creative flow.
We’ve looked at ways you can take care of yourself, help others within reason, recognize your values, and live according to the compass of your life. We also discussed your lawn, and metaphorically, everything you might compare in your life to someone else. Take care of your space and let others tend to their own.
You’ll become a better person for the work you do rather than impressing so many people by working yourself thin. The bottom line is to focus spending time on your space rather than on what someone else has accomplished. That’s where the power lies. Empowerment comes from knowing your values, living true to them, and demonstrating the same thing to others.
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Previously Published on medium
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