All emotions are temporary. If you think that you are in love and it’s enough for a happy and healthy long-lasting relationship then you are wrong. Don’t be together just because you are in love. Be together for the right reasons. Everything that makes a relationship healthy for both people requires genuine love and a deep level of friendship and respect. Love itself is nothing but just a temporary emotion. Love is never enough to sustain a relationship.
Are you happy in your relationship? Ask yourself that are you happy? If not then why are you in that relationship? Winning is not about just being together if you are not happy. Sometimes leaving peacefully is winning and suffering every day in the try of sustaining a relationship is losing.
Love is temporary but you can make it permanent by commitment: A happy long-lasting relationship requires a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. Your commitment shouldn’t be based on your present mood or present situations. It’s dealing with another person’s insecurities and fears and ideas, even when you don’t want to. When you are in a bad mood, you should talk with your partner with the same tone and respect when you do in a good mood.
The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect. Communication is important but the more important than that is respect. People think that communication being the most important part of making things work. Talk frequently. Talk openly. Talk about everything, even if it hurts. But I noticed that the most important thing is respect. I have learned that communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt. And the only thing that can save you and your partner is unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another often more than you each believe in yourselves, and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got. Without that bedrock of respect underneath you, you will doubt each other’s intentions. You will judge their choices and encroach on their independence. You will feel the need to hide things from one another for fear of criticism. And this is when the cracks in the edifice begin to appear.
Make expectations wisely: If we are in a relationship then we can’t stop ourselves from expectations. You can’t be happy in a relationship if either you or your partner have unrealistic expectations. Expectations hurt a lot. If expectations are not realistic then of course they will not get fulfilled and it leads to an unhealthy relationship. If you want a happy healthy relationship then don’t expect unrealistic things.
Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt, but you still need to do it. No one else can fix your relationship for you. Just as causing pain to your muscles allows them to grow back stronger, often introducing some pain into your relationship through vulnerability is the only way to make the relationship stronger. There can be no secrets. Secrets divide you.
A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals. A healthy and happy relationship requires two healthy and happy individuals.
Give each other space. Some people are afraid to give their partner freedom and independence. This comes from a lack of trust or insecurity that if we give our partner too much space, they will discover someone new and they don’t want to be with us anymore. Trust each other and don’t be afraid to let them go with their friends and enjoy their space.
The relationship is a living, breathing thing. It cannot get stronger without stress and challenge. You have to fight. Obstacles make the marriage. Get good at forgiving. The little things add up to big things. Little things can save or damage your relationship.
This post was previously published on Medium.
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