There are so many expectations hanging over us: be this way, do that thing, look like that, achieve that goal, do it by this time… on and on the list goes, never ending and frankly, impossible to satisfy.
Making choices to fulfill these external expectations can lead to a sense of hollowness, frustration, loneliness, disconnection, and self-judgment.
Learning to ask ourselves what it is that our authentic selves really want is a skill that can help us to unlock our joy, creativity, wonder, courage, and so much more.
As we get practiced with it, we can start to recognize how an authentic choice feels in the body. It often feels like warmth, groundedness, or certainty.
If this is difficult for you, try starting with small choices: what do you want to do in the next hour? What do you want to say in the next conversation you have? Practicing being ourselves allows us to bring that skill out more and more in new, more complex situations in the future.
You are the one who gets to live your life — choose the things that make it a joyful one.
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Previously Published on The New Happy
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In fact, “therapy” is a horrible thing to “do” to people if you’re not helping people get real help. Therapy puts the blame on the person. Feeling shitty is what drives people to seek help for their sad feelings. How much shittier do people feel CBT’d to death. Eventually most therapy is CBT. “Change your outlook. Change your life.” There are 5 billion reasons why people seek therapy. There are very few real life approaches.