Sami Holden believes that movies and TV shows miss the mark on an accurate portrayal of illness. How does this affect men and perception of masculinity?
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Wellness is something that many people take for granted. Each day we wake up, we expect our veins to flow blood, our heart to pump that blood, our legs to walk, and our food to nourish our body. The CDC stated that in 2012, about half of adults have one or more chronic illnesses. That’s an awful lot. Another statistic provided by Scope, an organization through the UK that promotes disability awareness and equality, says that less than one in ten people will date someone with a chronic illness. It’s easy to wonder if part of the hesitation to date someone with an illness is based off of pre-conceived notions of what individuals with illness must be like. I’ve never had the luxury to know what life is like without chronic illness and I’ve had a fairly good life socially, but I can’t say that it’s easy to explain health issues to someone you’re dating. Part of the problem of illness acceptance, in my opinion, is that what’s being portrayed as sickness in movies and TV only further stigmatizes these populations.`
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“I’m basically like an X-men,” I say to someone I’ve been dating for a handful of weeks as we walk down a street hand-in-hand one weekend. My rationale is that I’m essentially invaluable to battle against Magneto as my iron deficiency would make it so he couldn’t use his powers on me. My date suggests that my superpower is being able to “chameleonize” as I am somehow able to look completely different in appearance on a frequent basis. This isn’t the first time I’ve made jokes to explain health issues. Another popular one is when I say my need for transfusions essentially makes me a real-life vampire, and that my love for lasagna proves I have no issues with garlic. In these rationales I realize that I’m likening myself to superheroes and mythological creatures – all pretty badass ones at that.
The stereotype of ill people is often that they are fragile and need to be cared for. In reality, people who have spent their lives dealing with health issues are used to taking care of themselves – sometimes shutting other people out in the process. My battle has been to rally against the perception that I’m “child-like” which is how movies and TV perceive ill women. My immediate thought for an example of this goes to Natalie Portman’s character in Garden State. A woman who while living with epilepsy changes the life of a sad male protagonist by showing him all the whimsy and wonder in the world all while serving up great musical recommendations. For my male friends, the perception of being fragile and in need of care is a much deeper plight.
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While I’m frustrated by the portrayal of ill women, at least there are many examples I could pull from. Men facing illness in movies and TV are often not just chronically ill, but dying. Hugh Dancy’s character in The Big C is a cancer patient that has a knack for saying the most Zen and inspirational things. In the recent teen hit The Fault In Our Stars, the lead male character Augustus seemingly serves to provide wish fulfillment for the equally ill female character. At the same time, he appears perfectly well and able to keep up. It is the female character that is continually weak. Instead of just being able to be sick, these characters feed into the thought that ill men must still be strong while also able to spout off inspirational things.
This keeping up of appearances continues with Fox’s new show, Red Band Society, a “sick kids meet Breakfast Club” premise. All medical equipment such as nasal cannula or IV poles are somehow missing from teens who are supposedly very sick and in the hospital. How is someone supposed to live their entire life chronically ill with those images being what’s expected? Believe me, people do expect individuals with health issues to fit these images portrayed.
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Maybe it’s more of a message that the ill man is rarely portrayed in TV and film at all. Illness has been shown as weakness for so long that perhaps it’s thought of as too challenging to create a leading male character that defies this perception. My friends affected by chronic illness are left looking to the uber-masculine action characters to compare themselves to. I’ve been very involved in the hemophilia community, a condition that leads to an increased tendency to have specific bleeding, such as within joints (they can’t die from a paper cut). Men with hemophilia or other bleeding disorders could not do those fight scenes that all of the tough guys do in the action movies to save the day, but I can guarantee you that they’d still find a way to save the day.
My male friends affected by a Primary Immune Deficiency, a variety of genetic illnesses that affect the body’s ability to fight infection, only have the “comically” inaccurate portrayal of Jake Gyllenhaal in Bubble Boy to reflect back to them. Why are they not allowed to be the debonair leading man waiting to sweep a woman off her feet? While I realize I’m focusing on illnesses that are rarer in nature, the same could be said about any limiting health issue. A man unable to drive due to health issues shouldn’t feel like less of a man because the leading man Hollywood is showing is driving over to pick up his date in the latest romantic comedy. Not being able to play football or climb the side of a mountain doesn’t create a person’s worth.
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If movies and TV began creating accurate portrayals of illness, it would be much easier for all of us experiencing health issues. We wouldn’t be expected to be the courageous individuals with sage advice – we could just be human. To lose the shame experienced or self-esteem hit over not being able to live up to the standards of our well counterparts would be a welcomed change. Being open about health issues would be less intimidating as a result. The more viewers see a certain portrayal, the more that image becomes normalized. Men facing illness deserve to see themselves reflected back, and it would help to show that masculinity can take many forms and isn’t determined by solely by wellness and physical status.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Sami,
This article is spot-on! Excellent writing, and perceptive insight into the stigma that’s created by Hollywood. I agree with you about many folks dealing with major illness being self-sufficient and often reticent to reveal pain or allow others to help. As a hemophiliac, I still see myself as the tough guy who could/would (has) fight the bad guy… It just takes me a heck of a lot longer to heal afterward (and transfusions and stuff…) Thank you so much for this thought provoking piece!
Good stuff!
Cheers,
Vaughn