My Father Survived

In 1996 my father had a massive heart attack. He lost 90% of his heart and had 7 bypass surgeries performed over 11 hours.

His doctor told my mother to be prepared for the worst.

However, my father told her, before they carted him into the operating room, “Don’t listen to the doctors. I will be fine.”

She was crying, but she believed him.

They were the love of each others’ life. He and Mom are Hindus who believe in reincarnation. He told her they would be together for 7 lifetimes.

He came out of surgery weak, but alive. He got out of his bed and walked a few steps the next day, which amazed the hospital staff.

I was in graduate school at the time, and it was midterms week but I caught a flight to be with my parents. I brought my schoolbooks with me so I could study. My professors told me I could make up the exams when I got back.

It was a few days after Dad’s surgery. My mother visited him in the hospital every day, bringing him containers of home-cooked food since she knew he didn’t care for the hospital’s cuisine. I went with her for the few days I was there.

I sat in his room and studied, keeping him company. He was still very weak and couldn’t talk much anyway. He made it clear that he appreciated my presence, even if my nose was in a book.

He was 30 days in the hospital before they would discharge him.

He could not work full time anymore. He needed to avoid the stress of a full time job. But he was bored sitting around the house. So he worked part time at a low-stress job, which gave him a sense of purpose.

He lived for 11 more years after that massive coronary.

None of the doctors had anticipated that.

When I was a child, people always told me I was my Daddy’s daughter. He and I shared many traits. For example, we both went to MIT.

When I got cancer for the first time in 2004, my father was still alive. After my treatment was complete, my husband at the time and I visited my parents. My father took us to the MIT campus to show us his lab. The lab where he’d done his research for his MSEE.

We also walked past the location where my lab used to be — but they’d torn down that building to build a new one. We joked about the fact that my lab was gone but his still remained.

I looked more like my father than my mother and shared many of his character traits.

I also survived cancer when the doctors gave me only 6 months to live, back in 2004. Since then, I have had a recurrence of the cancer twice. Each time doctors have given me a grim prognosis, yet I am still here.

That is another way I’m like my father. I’m a survivor.

—

This post was previously published on Shefali O’Hara’s blog.

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything