Cleaning up after Aikido Class, Ishibashi Sensei said, “Our time has passed.”
I said, “Yes. It’s about the next generation.”
Sensei nodded.
I’m going to be 64 years old. Sensei is a couple older than me. I’ve trained in Aikido for over 35 years. Sensei has trained for 40 years. We have the honor and privilege of teaching Aikido to kids and teens. They’re the future. As it should be. In the bigger picture, it’s about their future. It’s their world.
I have more years behind than ahead of me. That’s just the human design. That’s just life. The late Mizukami Sensei trained Ishibashi Sensei and me. Now, Cognard Hanshi teaches us. And Sensei teaches me.
We give away all that we have to the next generation. Give away what the late Mizukami Sensei gave to us. I teach students to throw with their feeling out, throw from their one point, ki, from their strength inside. Everyone has that inside themselves. They just have to train. Put their heads down. Put in the work. Work on themselves, not on others. Just train.
I give students that feeling Mizukami gave Ishibashi Sensei and me. Throw with your feeling out. Enter the attack. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not always going to get away scot-free. There’s no sparring. There is no fight. It’s one time.
I know what I have. I know what I got from Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei. I give that all away without ego, without fear.
In Aikido, I get under the attack, in the danger. That’s the safest place to be. I hold my position. Make my timing. I open up and let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. My fear as a little boy of my Dad. Mizukami Sensei made me look inside myself. Made me see that I was good enough. That I always was. I can be quiet inside. I can be free inside. I can just be me. I give that away. I honor the legacy of the late Mizukami Sensei, who was a great man. Who was a father to me.
In Elton John and Bernie Taupin’s Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me, Elton sings, “But losing everything, is like the sun going down on me.”
I’m in the twilight of my life. As the sun goes down on me, my youth has no doubt faded away. Perhaps, that’s all what I’ve lost, not everything. I know what I have. I give away all what I have to others. They can take what’s useful and discard what’s not. The late Mizukami Sensei said, “Make it work.” He said, “Make Aikido your own.” In the end, everyone has to make it work, has to make themselves work. Everyone has to make life their own.
In many ways, Mizukami Sensei saved my life. Whatever I have that matters, that makes a difference, is because of Mizukami Sensei. What Sensei gave me, I pass on without ego, without fear, selflessly. What Mizukami Sensei had done for me.
I pass on all that I have with nothing, but mad love and respect. That mad love and respect I have for Mizukami Sensei. Although Sensei is gone, he’s always with me. Always by my side. I love Sensei. I always honor him.
Indeed, my time has passed. That can be a good thing. Life constantly changes, continually moves forward. In the bigger picture, I won’t define my legacy. My legacy shall be determined by those I’ve made a difference for over a lifetime.
I came into the world wanting to make a difference. Because of men like Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei, I’ve been able to make a difference for others in some way, on some scale. I’m grateful for that. Mostly, I grateful for the people in my life. I have a meaningful life, because of them. I have a life that I love, because of them. Amen.
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Photo by Antoinette Biehlmeier on Unsplash
