And then think about all the times in your life when you weren’t happy — those days when you overanalysed and couldn’t find any silver linings, let alone gold ones.
Those days when the smallest things seemed like big problems and a sentence as simple as “How was your day?” became an extensive monologue inside your head. Think about those overthinking days and ask how they make you feel. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature,” says Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher.
Unless you actively intercept your overthinking brain and take back control, you will keep doing it for the rest of your life.
You don’t have control over everything
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. — John Barrymore
Happiness is a choice. This sounds cliché, but it’s true. Happiness is not something that just happens to you; it’s not like the weather, which you cannot control. You have to make efforts to be happy and keep yourself happy on a daily basis by focusing your energies on things that will fill your life with joy and appreciating even the smallest events and experiences in your life.
It is said that we all have a happiness set point — some people are naturally more optimistic than others, some people can take more stress without breaking than others, and so on.
Happiness is a fleeting emotion; it can feel like something we have to work for rather than something that comes naturally. The irony is that the things we think will make us happy in the long term tend to have the opposite effect.
Martha Washington once said, “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”
Happiness is not the absence of obstacles
“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” — George Orwell
Happiness isn’t the absence of problems or challenges in your life; it’s how you handle them. So what does this have to do with overthinking? Having a tendency to overanalyse things and overthink every little thing can be detrimental to one’s happiness.
Overthinking, analysing every little detail and dwelling on past events tend to have a negative impact on our ability to find happiness in everyday things. Overthinking and worrying destroy our happiness because they cause us to focus on things outside our control.
Overthinking is an exhausting and destructive habit. It’ll consume your mental energy, rob you of your happiness, and have you questioning everything.
Overthinking has the potential to ruin even the best things in our lives. When we overthink something, it feels as though we’re tearing it apart piece by piece to find all its flaws. And no matter how often we go over the same thing in our head, the answer remains the same: we overthought it.
Overthinking can be a real challenge for anyone trying to focus on positivity in life. When you overthink something that seems insignificant or a moment that should have been fun, it makes you question everything about yourself and whether life sucks or not.
There is no perfect life
“We never taste happiness in perfection, our most fortunate successes are mixed with sadness.” — Pierre Corneille
Nothing is perfect, including relationships, friendships, and experiences, but when you overanalyse them, they seem flawed and filled with problems. Taking things too far can lead to an inability to find happiness even when good things are happening.
The more time you spend worrying about things, the less time you spend enjoying the happy and fleeting experiences in life.
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will,” Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher, said.
Analysis and dwelling on the past disconnect us from the present moment. These might seem like small details, but they all add up. The more we overthink or dwell on the past, the less we can experience joy in the present moment.
For every event or experience, you overthink, break the chain by thinking about every good thing happening for you now. Choose to take responsibility for your own happiness.
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This post was previously published on Thomas Oppong’s blog.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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