
I recently read a story about a man saving a drowning family. It was a beautiful story, a story where love triumphed.
You might ponder, was this action an act of love?
Yes, this was an act of love.
We are prone to see heroism as valor or duty. We don’t see these attributes as acts of love. Succinctly, we don’t perceive the correlation between valor and love. This perspective needs to change.
Whenever we read online about saviors and helpers, our minds go into courage mode. We remember the gore and war movies we watched. How in the movie, the army rose above the tension and won. We herald these scenes as a societal virtue. All the while it was a brute force that arose not sacrificial love.
Do you see the twist? Do you see the wrong perception? Sacrificially giving love is the most valor one can endure. Opening the door for a stranger is valor. Buying flowers for your wife is valor. Holding back a rude remark is valor.
We should not have to have wars to have valor.
Think about that.
We need to put love into action. Love should be the brute force of world domination. How do we put love into action?
Here are 3 things to ponder.
1. Love as valor
“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.” — Mitch Albom
Presupposed above is the epistemic way of structuring your thoughts about love.
Love is not whimsical. Nor does love require a positive emotional connection. Love can be given and received apart from feeling good momentarily.
Think about the story of the man saving the drowning family. The water was cold, and desperation was in the air.
This is not a typical cultural depiction of love.
The rolling waves and gasping for air are a dreary scene. Think about the force of the sea and the battle for survival.
This is a scene far removed from a heated Hollywood flick, where gasping for air is present, as two lovers roll in the sheets.
It is ironic that we see the flick as a quintessential picture of love. While the picture of saving drowning people is not.
Love is about laying your life down for another. Making the dreary scene, of saving drowning people, a true display of love.
We must change our perception of love.
2. Put love in action
“True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice.” — Sadhu Vaswani
There are chances to lay our lives down every day. We should be seeking such opportunities.
This world needs more love. It needs more men like in the story I read. It needs men that are willing to sacrifice for another.
Not to use another for their own satisfaction. But, to sacrifice for another in order to love.
Be a valorous lover. Not a boy that needs attention.
Help out a family in need, choose kind and loving words, pay a grocery bill for a poor mom, volunteer your time to better a community, engage with young people on the grander things of life, serve food at a homeless shelter, give away your time and talents. All of these are simple ways to put love into action.
Are you living this way? Are you laying your life down for another? Are you a loving man?
My hope is that you can see the value and valor in being one.
3. You are not alone
“Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and know the other.” –David Spangler
Imagine being the family and thinking this was the end. Imagine being the man and thinking you failed. This brings up the last point.
Love requires great humility and emptying of yourself.
I imagine the man was embarrassed when the other man had to save his family. We all need each other. We all need help and to be loved. We need to freely give love AND freely receive love.
Don’t just be a man that gives love, be a man that receives love. As men, this is very difficult. We don’t like to be perceived as incapable or failing. But we do fail, and we are not invincible. A part of putting love into action is to be a receiver of love. To be humble and accept help.
If we love those who are in need and receive love when we need it, we will be loving men. We will be putting love into action.
Instead of brute force and wars, we will have the world we all want.
A world of love.
Thank you for reading the post. Please give a clap and comment. I really appreciate everyone’s comments and feedback.
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Previously Published on medium
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