Self-Care Over Achievement: Things To Do for You Before the New Year

I am not at all prepared for New Year’s resolution season — or for taking stock of the last year for that matter. This year has been something I’ve survived, and for me, that is enough. The long list of things I thought I was going to do this year got tossed while I adapted to reality.

My focus is on self-care right now — not achievement. I began to think of what reasonable goals I could set for myself in the last month of the year — goals that are doable and don’t set me up for failure. To take better care of myself, I need to do things like firm up my boundaries, not hit a weight loss goal. With that in mind, I crafted the following list.

Say no to something that drains my energetic resources.
Say yes to something I want (or want to do).
Unfriend toxic people and regret nothing.
Begin a new healthy habit, however small.
Take a nap.
Tell someone I love them.
Check on a struggling friend.
Do a random act of kindness.
Listen without giving advice.
Gift someone with my undivided attention.
Spend time outside.
Listen to a song I love.
Buy a gift for myself.
Practice self-compassion on my bad days.
Hold space for myself while I grieve the myriad losses of the year — including the ones that directly impact the holiday season.

The month is half gone already, but my focus is turned to self-care. As a single parent, I’ve already selected my own gifts for the holidays. At first, I thought — why bother? But then I decided that it matters.

Did I binge on shopping over quarantine? Yes, I did. Do I still deserve a nice Christmas with a few gifts under the tree for me? Yes again. That’s exactly what I did. I bought a few small, comforting items. It might not seem like much, but it’s a reminder to me that what I want matters, too.

Next year, I’ll likely evaluate goals differently. I may make them smaller and much more personal — and far less dependent on outside circumstances. As much as I’d love to travel extensively, I’m also aware that it may need to be a wish list item rather than a fixed plan. Nothing is guaranteed.

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This year is coming to an end. As it does, I’m trying to be more mindful and present — even though it’s hard to sit with the heavy sense of grief. I’m making the most of this year, even if that means I take the best care of myself that I can as this year draws to a close.