What is Love?
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…
You’ve probably listened to this music sometime in your life and it makes me wonder how love is seen today by all the ages. The thing is that it just happens, sooner or later that someone makes us feel different, curious and nervous. It might be our own genetics, which means there’s not so much one can do to avoid it. But do we want to avoid it? Most of the time, we just feel like diving head on to immerse ourselves into an unknown paradise. It’s thrilling, curious, exciting. I’ve been this way sometimes and I bet you were like that too. It’s beautiful, but what you and I give for love is really the right thing to do?
Love’s got to be selfish. Beautiful, isn’t it? Most people carry this notion, right?
I’ll give up everything on what makes me smile to stand by your side, I’ll let go of my dreams to be with you, I’ll sacrifice what I like to do because I love you… How do you feel about it says something about your perception of love.
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Now, think of that person you deeply care for and love, then ask yourself this: “I’d rather be happy than have you. If I had to take such a decision, I’d surely side with my own happiness.” Did it sound selfish? I mean, most people would see it that way and be probably sad for not being that important to someone as they thought, perhaps they wanted to be the first one on the list, to be above the happiness of his or her partner.
Thinking about it… Is this healthy? Why should you give up your happiness to love someone? If a couple gives up on their own happiness to love one another, doesn’t it look like we’re talking about two unhappy people loving each other?
Yet, it’s not like love shouldn’t give room for sacrifice, life is not perfect and from time to time, when that flu comes by, a misunderstanding comes along or a problem arrives, helping each other is fundamental, some say it’s the heart of a relationship, the cornerstone. Of course, the feeling from helping in these moments is like nothing else, it’s truly love.
That calls for the question on how a healthy couple looks like. Perhaps, when two people keep doing what they love and somehow find a way to live together, at the same time. Love is about acceptance, they say, but is it truly about giving up what you love to have the love of someone else?
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Today, relationships can be fragile, friends temporary and connections loose. Looks like the trivial is taking control of our lives when we see ourselves reacting to anything right away without pondering the future, sometimes. Asking ourselves questions about romance, about ourselves, about life itself can help aligning the mind with the heart so that truly love can find us.
You see, sometimes it’ll rain, but if you’re on good terms with yourself, nothing can ruin your day, your love or your life.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Caleb Ekeroth on Unsplash