“And if love be madness, may I never find sanity again.” — John Mark Green
Valentine’s Day has arrived and February and March seem to be the months of romance, just how December is the month of jollity.
But why show love during spring and only be kind during Christmas?
That doesn’t sit well with me. And I think we can do better.
With so many days in a year that call for celebration, it would be a shame to let them go to waste.
Here are my favorite ways to show her that I care.
And girls, some of the tips listed here apply to him as well, so read closely.
1. Listen
They look thrilled while telling you something that happened to them.
It could be a recent positive event, or something related to their favorite hobby, or even a happy distant memory.
How you respond and pay attention matters a lot more than you think. So share their enthusiasm. Join in on the fun. Be interested and ask questions.
It’s one of the biggest signs you care about someone and you would be surprised to know how many relationships are torn apart by it.
Someone’s always on their phone or isn’t too eager to hear what the other person has to say, which leaves them feeling insignificant.
If you’re in low spirits, try to let your mood be uplifted by theirs and not the other way around.
2. Get her flowers
A bouquet or a single one even. It’s really not that hard.
There are flower shops everywhere and they do not cost a fortune. It’s always the thought that matters.
I was beyond shocked to hear one of my friends has never received flowers in her three relationships.
3. Get her food
If you’re going to the store and you ask her if she wants anything, the answer will most likely be no.
Still, you should get her something.
It can be what you’re getting, snacks, chocolate, or anything else really.
For Valentine’s Day: You cannot go wrong with a date to a restaurant that serves her favorite food. Make reservations!
Don’t tell her where you’re going, because she’ll be expecting the occasion anyway.
A romantic date night at home can be ideal too if that’s what you both like. You can cook, order food together, or if you’ve been together for a while and you’d rather surprise her, you should have already memorized what she likes to eat.
Scented candles, music and a movie followed by a sensual night sounds like a great plan to me.
Either way, you’ll be spending quality time together.
4. Compliment her often and show her off
Don’t let the effort she puts into getting ready for you go unnoticed.
Call her gorgeous, let her know how good the clothes look on her, and tell her what features of hers you love the most.
You cannot overdo it.
At the same time, you should have no reason not to feel comfortable with her when you’re out in public (unless you’ve got something to hide). Forget what other people think and enjoy yourselves.
Be confident and show her off.
If she’s genuine about you, your attention is the one thing she’ll crave the most.
I know how other women turn invisible to me once I start liking someone.
5. Tell her how you feel about her (and how she makes you feel)
For already established couples, don’t let the passion fade away.
I cannot stress this enough.
Many people assume that just ’cause you’ve been together for a long time, the other person should know exactly how you feel and be able to read your mind.
This is a thinking trap called “Mind reading”, which also puts an end to a lot of relationships.
Be straightforward and communicate.
Tell her when she does something you like and how she’s still warming your heart by doing the simplest of things.
For people trying to be more than just friends but haven’t reached that stage yet, you’ve got nothing to lose.
If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But if it’s meant to be, how else are you supposed to find out?
Make her aware of what your feelings are for her.
Being direct saves both of you time and could lead to something beautiful.
6. Keep her safe
The sidewalk rule means that you, the man, walk on the side of traffic.
Many women appreciate this, but don’t expect to hear it from them.
I’ve gotten so used to it that it now feels awkward otherwise.
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If you’re approaching a crowded space or someplace that isn’t necessarily deemed safe, it is your role to protect her.
Where I live, the nightlife can get a little crazy. We have a lot of tourists and people looove getting drunk and stirring up trouble.
I try to avoid such streets when I’m with her because I don’t want to put her in danger, but if we do end up in a situation like that, I will take her hand and lead the way.
I’ll make a path through the crowd and firmly hold her as close behind me as possible.
I’m very protective and I turn very serious — picture Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead trying to protect his wife or child — but no one’s got injured so far and it’s just who I am as a person.
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Other things such as giving her your jacket when she’s cold or when it’s raining, or bringing her some food when she’s hungry go without saying. We all get cranky when we’re starving.
7. Be there for her when she needs you
This is crucial.
Comfort her when she’s sad and be there when she calls for you because we show up for the people we care about.
If she’s a priority, make her feel it.
8. Ask her to be your Valentine
Many couples skip the question, but I think it can be a romantic gesture that she will definitely appreciate.
This also gives you an additional opportunity to prepare something special.
You can tell her to close her eyes while you bring the flowers or the present that you got for her.
Honestly, I like writing notes too. They feel very personal and spark emotion.
I love you. Will you be my Valentine?
Alex
☔ Here, have this umbrella for a rainy day. If you would like to support me, please share my story with your friends and loved ones.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Filip Rankovic Grobgaard on Unsplash