#SpiritDay Cereal Mukbang

*Content warning – may contain language offensive to some viewers.

hi everyone welcome to mouth full I’m
00:01
Matthew and I’m Rocco and we are here
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today to eat gobbles and couples of this
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spirit day cereal called all together
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sponsored by glad and you can get it at
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the New York City Kellogg’s cafe it’s
00:16
worth agree exclusively so you have to
00:18
go but you can mix your own cereals so
00:21
you know I love mixing cereal as a kid
00:24
what were your favorite tools oh my god
00:26
well are we allowed to say brand names
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okay okay right I love cocoa puffs and
00:31
because we were told the sugar coming
00:33
off of them yeah I can
00:34
so I’m type 2 diabetic so my doctor’s
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not lying
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but it’s for spirit for good cause these
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bowls don’t hold a little taste but
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we’re going we’re gonna go all in and
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consume four boxes of cereal we’ll
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invite some guests so let’s just say
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there’s six cereals I think in here or
01:02
several so this is the cornflakes
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rooster I know cereals like cartoons
01:06
because I’m a millennial great so this
01:08
is the cornflakes rooster this is the
01:11
gender this is the gender-neutral elves
01:14
don’t
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orsten or think we have any vendor not
01:17
important yeah they’re gender
01:18
non-conforming this is the raisin brand
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son this is Tony the furry tiger but I
01:23
think Tony the Tiger is actually a butch
01:24
I think Tony the Tiger might be and then
01:29
this is the frosted mini-wheats it was
01:32
also a mini toucan sam what gender is
01:34
toucan sam i think chicken Sam’s beyond
01:38
gender sam is a gender variant name no
01:42
really it’s androgynous so it’s dawning
01:43
this I can’t think of the words for
01:46
anything like I mused about gender
01:47
bearing you’re like yeah androgynous
01:48
thing to say August that’s alright
01:50
at the androgen to can see it’s early
01:52
what we’re filming this when it’s
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actually breakfast time
01:55
oh I haven’t even had it in my cereal
01:57
yet listen mocking but also that I’m a
01:59
person who is you can hear disgusted by
02:01
open mouth eating but on mouth full it’s
02:04
the only time when it’s appropriate to
02:06
eat with your mouth open because we’re
02:08
gonna be in conversation the entire
02:10
Weedon I’ve never MUC banked with anyone
02:13
this is my first my first time this is
02:14
my first time in a mukbang and I’ve done
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a lot of things but wait I’ve been a
02:18
part of we’re at some point we’re gonna
02:19
have a mock gangbang – I’ve been parts
02:23
of gangbangs but never a muck studio
02:27
later buy more queer people but also
02:31
Rita’s a kid not to like bring the bowl
02:33
up to your mouth like oh yeah the bowl
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on the table which is so much nothing
02:36
wrong journey for the spoon
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it’s so much messier so today is spirit
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day okay well let’s talk about cereal
02:45
okay okay
02:46
which of these cereals that are in here
02:49
are your favorite cereal mm-hmm well
02:52
have a different relationship to all of
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them mmm-hmm Froot Loops are my favorite
02:56
because as a kid I wasn’t allowed to eat
02:58
sugary cereal sure but that was the
03:03
sweetest so I ended up getting a lot of
03:05
rice krispies and other like fucking
03:07
grape-nuts shit like that that’s like
03:09
who cares when you’re a kid I feel like
03:11
I wanted cookie crisp rice krispies Arlo
03:14
he’s still bad for you but because
03:15
they’re not colorful people think that
03:17
they’re fine but you’re so eating like
03:19
fake shit mm-hmm oh wait I shouldn’t say
03:22
that about the fuck they’re working
03:23
sorry when you’re well it’s fine it’s
03:25
true cereals not nutritious it’s not
03:27
like a nutritious breakfast which is why
03:29
I’ve been looking forward to this moment
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o night well it’s more like it’s a
03:34
cereal doesn’t rot in the ground it has
03:35
to be processed into cereal right like
03:37
no one goes to the cereal train gives it
03:39
a shake on it’s like hey I didn’t get
03:41
some of those Reese’s puffs right but if
03:42
there was a cereal tree what is that
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your favorite cereal right now it is let
03:51
me go for me I would say cocoa puffs
03:53
Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch berries
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hmm only with the berries I like
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anything with peanut butter and
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chocolate because recent posts are like
04:03
right here together yeah imagine the day
04:05
that happens when we just eat Reese’s on
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camera together we’ll do that in a live
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stream next week
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so do use do you drink the cereal milk
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oh yeah there’s a cause of great the
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milk with cereal milk and there’s a
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place in New York that makes a soft
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serve with cereal milk flavor and then
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they put salted cornflakes as a topping
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it’s so good
04:29
I think it’s milk bar that’s what it’s
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called okay so we’re here to talk about
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spirit day as we’ve been saying and I
04:37
think spirit day summer day is obviously
04:40
about bullying but I think the
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interesting thing about bullying is that
04:44
it’s so unique to every everyone’s story
04:47
is so unique with it right what I would
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like I know you want to talk a little
04:52
bit about bullying yeah well you know
04:55
you were saying you were I was bullied
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you were yeah I was bullied mm-hmm I
04:59
started getting bullied I don’t know is
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how yeah I get bullied at work
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but I started getting bullied when
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puberty hit which i think is the time
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when people all start start bullying or
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start getting bullied because kids are
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their bodies are changing there is a
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social hierarchy that’s expected that
05:23
wasn’t on telemetry school junior high
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school is rough I didn’t I’m old enough
05:27
I’m in my late 30s so I didn’t grow up
05:30
with online bullying which I feel
05:33
grateful for because that level of
05:35
bullying seems more vicious because
05:37
there was you home yeah you know it’s 24
05:41
hours and people say cooler shit on line
05:43
than they do right in person but kids
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are still cruel so I had acne like
05:48
really bad and acne so kids called me
05:50
pizza face told me I should wash my face
05:53
and then I was a kid I liked growing up
05:57
I presented very masculine lay my
05:59
parents were hippies in California they
06:01
allowed me to assert my identity without
06:03
trying to interrupt it so I had short
06:06
hair I dressed like a boy and during
06:09
puberty I was like I’m gonna try passing
06:12
as a woman for the first time and
06:15
everyone called me a shemale oh my good
06:17
men later they called me a dyke
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and then by the time I hit high school
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and that middle school is rough for me
06:24
like I ate my locker I didn’t have a lot
06:26
of friends you ate in your locker yeah I
06:28
was big enough for me to fit in too so
06:32
that’s how I dealt with it but I was
06:33
also the class clown
06:34
so during class people loved me there’s
06:36
some there’s some lockers in her office
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we should have lotion
06:39
next time we’ll broadcasting next you
06:43
should have done that we should have
06:44
done that it probably would have healed
06:45
me cuz I was points I need some somatic
06:47
healing but I really believe in walking
06:52
through the trauma I do too and I also
06:54
think there’s something for me I a
06:56
switch went off when I realized I
06:58
actually didn’t care about all the all
07:00
the popular girls in my school were
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named Julie or Kristy there were groups
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of them there were like three Julie
07:05
Christie three Julie’s for Christie’s
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and then like a second tier of popular
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girls that were also Julie Christie and
07:14
Melissa so so I realized that I actually
07:20
didn’t even like them and that I had
07:22
nothing in common with them we didn’t
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share interest so that gave me the power
07:25
to X myself out of a social hierarchy
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really early and then I decided like the
07:31
things that people were but the
07:33
identities that people were weaponizing
07:34
like being a dyke or being like gender
07:37
non-conforming without the language
07:38
shemale right were things that I knew
07:41
about myself and that if I accepted
07:43
those things about myself it took the
07:45
venom out of someone else sang them to
07:47
me so I became immune to slurs that
07:50
people would yell at me not the acne
07:52
because that felt bad right but
07:54
eventually the acne went away and then
07:56
that was fine and when people said book
08:00
and Dyke I was like yeah and what let’s
08:02
go obviously I’m not even guising so
08:10
then I was able to avoid being bullied
08:13
because it didn’t it was ineffective and
08:16
if you don’t I mean obviously not
08:19
everyone has that choice and that was a
08:22
privilege of Who I am and how I am in
08:24
the world
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mm-hmm and I recognize that that’s not
08:27
everyone’s experience and not everyone
08:28
has access to that experience so I feel
08:31
grateful that I had the internal
08:33
fortitude to protect myself didn’t I
08:37
tell you my wrist was too bad for this
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those SEC is giving me body trauma which
08:45
tell me about your bullying well let’s
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get into this body trauma girl let’s
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dive right in a breakfast bowl of it
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mmm oops I already spilled trauma the
08:57
breakfast of champions dining on it for
09:01
were meals a day right it’s you know
09:06
what chomping keeps you regular meeting
09:08
you since what year kidding me since
09:11
circa 1987 but so I mean I was bullied
09:18
lightly I would say I mean I remember
09:20
crying a lot because you know people I
09:24
was feminine and em feminine and so
09:28
people wouldn’t talk about my sexuality
09:30
and I came out very young I felt like my
09:34
reaction to the bullying was to be like
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yeah I am so I came out when I was 13
09:38
me too oh my god see cute so this is my
09:43
15th year being out this is your 25th
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year being my 45th year so know what
09:53
yours it is it 20 howdy
09:55
it’s 2018 so oh wait no I was thinking
09:59
no wait I’m 28 yeah yeah I’m talking so
10:02
13 15 so it’s my 15 p.m. so this is my
10:05
25th year of being queer right
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whatever sixteen-thirds so anyway my
10:10
queerness is older than most of my
10:11
coworkers
10:12
I’m 29 so not but in my cookie I don’t
10:16
know anyway so it was definitely being
10:19
bullied for being gay but there’s also
10:20
being bullied for being fat you know
10:22
like there are always people especially
10:24
this is a thing that is really terrible
10:26
to me in the gay community where there
10:28
will be like very normative bodied gay
10:32
guys who are like well I’m a former fat
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kid I’m like
10:34
current fad adult okay see once again
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wait which felt worse being bullied at
10:45
for being gay or being bullied about
10:48
your body well I will say this it felt
10:53
like on a level everyone who knows or
10:56
not knows but you know like even when I
10:58
would talk about my mom with being gay
11:00
she would my mom pretty much knew it was
11:03
gay cuz I came out of her life we have a
11:05
bond obviously and she was like she
11:08
would she would talk about it in a way
11:09
cuz my mom is very she’s not
11:10
conservative she’s traditional and she’d
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be like well you know there are people
11:14
who say this major league baseball
11:16
player this whatever is gay but like you
11:17
could still be great at what you do and
11:18
she’s like that’s how you show people up
11:20
like you’re you do well in blah blah
11:21
blah and I was really smart it was like
11:23
okay I’m gay but like my grades are
11:25
better than yours like yeah for me oh
11:26
yeah you know do you think that happens
11:29
for a lot of queer people that they are
11:30
overachievers as a result of it I think
11:32
so but then also there’s this inherent
11:34
problem of like you shouldn’t have to be
11:35
an excellent queer to be about your
11:38
elated for being queer you know ya just
11:39
can get C’s – totally and so really true
11:46
you can be average and be queer oh we
11:48
don’t have to be spectacular no I like
11:50
to think of queer people as x-men and
11:52
that are all special but there are some
11:53
excellent that aren’t as great as the
11:54
other ones so it’s like there’s some
11:56
level 5 storms there is there um so so
12:03
but I actually felt like the fat
12:05
bullying was worse because I felt like
12:07
that stigma was something that also came
12:09
from my family so I couldn’t go back to
12:10
my mom and be like I’m being bullied for
12:13
being fat because my mom would be like
12:15
you need to lose weight or like my
12:17
sister I have very Russell Murrells that
12:20
visceral memories of like my sister my
12:21
teens mean like now where you have to
12:23
exercise because like whatever weight
12:24
you are now will dictate whatever where
12:26
you are for your life and there wasn’t
12:28
just like a lot of body positivity and
12:30
now I still have an owl like my family’s
12:32
come a long way because I talk a lot
12:33
about body positivity in my life and
12:35
stuff like that but I think the bigger
12:39
thing for me you know I’m always
12:40
thinking about you know
12:42
like how to take days like spirit day or
12:44
coming out day because a lot of ways
12:45
they are to me days that are branded to
12:50
involve like heterosexual and straight
12:53
people into a conversation because
12:55
obviously a lot of people have to like
12:56
straight people horses people do the
12:58
bullying most the time but I’m always
13:01
thinking about like other times closeted
13:04
people who’s right who see themselves in
13:06
your mind a lot about like one thing
13:09
that I think about our own spirit day
13:10
coming out day all happening in October
13:12
is like how are we creating a community
13:15
that people will want to come out to
13:17
totally right like there is coming out
13:19
and that’s great you come out in your
13:21
family but then like how do we create a
13:22
space or it’s like once you come out
13:23
like you know I’ve written a lot in my
13:26
life about dating apps and Grindr and
13:28
some like that and it’s like if
13:30
someone’s gonna be in that world when
13:32
they’re a I mean obviously Grindr now is
13:35
not just for gay men there’s a lot of
13:36
there’s a range of people on it I
13:38
throughout the LGBTQ acronym and and
13:41
plus but if you’re gonna come out and
13:44
let’s say be in that world like how do
13:45
we create a space where it’s like you’re
13:47
not on the app like feeling fat all day
13:49
or when you go to a queer space but you
13:51
don’t feel other because of your skin
13:53
you know yeah I’ve written several
13:55
stories about gay bar owners who are
13:57
like Heike racists and I’ve just been
13:59
hiding it totally so it’s like how do we
14:00
create spaces that are okay for queer
14:04
people of color trans people gender
14:06
non-conforming people so it’s like I
14:09
really want to talk about intra
14:10
community bullying oh yeah I think that
14:12
the the queer community and maybe even
14:15
more so the trans community because I
14:16
remember after I transitioned there was
14:18
a level of cannibalism that didn’t exist
14:20
within the larger queer community so I
14:22
think when you faction off communities
14:24
and I’m sure that’s true for the gay
14:25
male community but I just felt it so
14:27
much in the trans community that the
14:29
bullying that I’ve received as a trans
14:32
person who’s been in the media field for
14:36
a decade plus is far worse and
14:38
dismantling and disruptive and all types
14:43
of terrible things then the bullying
14:45
that I received as a kid and I don’t
14:47
feel like I can fortify myself against
14:48
that in the same way that I did when I
14:50
was an outsider against the insiders
14:53
it’s
14:53
more like now I’m inside this like
14:56
community of queer people who are
14:58
supposed to love and be loved and treat
15:01
each other with kindness and create a
15:02
safe space and it feels like the most
15:04
unsafe space that I’ve ever been in well
15:07
you know I think we’re gonna welcome our
15:10
first guest on to the show soon mm-hmm
15:11
one thing I just want to say is that you
15:14
know I like I think a year and a half
15:17
two years ago I came out as like
15:18
identifying as gender non-conforming and
15:20
I also think for a long time I was
15:22
scared to like claim those terms because
15:23
I feel like within the queer community
15:25
there’s actually a lot of like gender
15:27
policing that goes on where it’s like
15:29
and I had kind of internalized it so I
15:31
don’t wanna say that was bullying but I
15:32
do want to say like I felt like because
15:34
I’ve presented masculine and if I walk
15:37
down the block it was usually never any
15:39
question that I was a mass presenting
15:41
person hmm that I couldn’t label myself
15:44
gender non-conforming and I had to like
15:46
redefine gender non-conforming myself
15:49
like what did it mean to not adhere to
15:51
masculine principles or try not to
15:53
adhere to my sentence walls you know
15:54
totally but before we bring our next
15:57
guest on or our first guest on can we
16:00
have one quick moment about this serial
16:02
yeah here’s how I feel I thought like it
16:05
at first I was like God bringing raisins
16:08
into this situation I know we all belong
16:11
together but not raisins but now after
16:14
trying the cereal the raisins really add
16:17
a nice element so I think in that is a
16:19
lesson about how we do all belong
16:22
together and maybe at first you see a
16:24
raisin and you’re like whoa we’re not a
16:26
raisin and then at the end you’re like
16:27
the raisin is the best part I just want
16:30
to say that in the in the actual cereal
16:33
raisin bran I feel like there’s a few
16:35
too many reasons and this cereal there’s
16:37
only like at the bottom level there’s
16:39
like two raisins and that’s fine
16:41
but in raisin bran I actually feel like
16:43
the ratio of raisins a little bit too
16:45
much but I think I just want to reward
16:48
you for talking about your trauma with
16:50
some silly string I feel like everyone
16:52
should get trauma silly sharing of
16:54
consensual
16:54
this is consents what we talk to okay
16:55
thank you
17:00
you as well
17:01
trauma silly-string I opened my mouth
17:04
well its mouth full all right point out
17:09
that iPad I think I’ve had two bowls
17:11
already I’ve had two okay but these are
17:13
little bowls so really like one and a
17:15
half mmm cereals almost gone from one
17:17
box and I need a huge message I mean I
17:19
know I have a little droplets here and
17:21
there but I have a huge mass that I’ve
17:23
argued all right so let’s bring let’s
17:24
begin our first guys to talk about their
17:26
trauma oh my god you’re still making oh
17:54
[Laughter]
18:04
my god hardcore this for you some of us
18:13
tell me about this cereal this is all
18:15
together and it is Kellogg’s several
18:18
Kellogg cereals put together in one it
18:21
is sponsored by GLAAD and it’s available
18:25
Wow I have a patient today and you can
18:28
know what the great thing about it is
18:29
that you can make your own
18:31
they don’t come prepackaged so you can
18:32
put as much it’s like you can put one
18:34
fifth of this one six of that frosted
18:38
flakes and a little distance I’m sorry I
18:40
didn’t think what no I’m sorry I mean
18:42
I’m shredding frosted mini-wheats oh so
18:44
the person who made this box was not a
18:46
fan of frosted frosted maybe I guess so
18:48
but other boxes might have frosted
18:49
mini-wheats she we life is like a box of
18:51
together you never know what you’re
18:53
gonna get okay let’s see so it says all
18:57
together cereal is a symbol of belonging
18:59
no matter how you look where you’re from
19:03
love we believe that all young people in
19:06
those young-at-heart deserve an
19:08
environment where they can grow up to be
19:10
their best selves
19:12
that’s why we’ve joined forces with glad
19:15
by joining purple by going purple on
19:18
spirit day to stand up against bullying
19:19
in all forms and to support a more
19:22
accepting world for LGBTQ youth join us
19:27
and and pledge to go purple on spirit
19:30
day to show solidarity with LGBTQ youth
19:33
and take part in the largest most
19:36
visible LGBTQ anti-bullying campaign in
19:39
the world I before – oh wait no this is
19:44
Jarrett do you want
19:46
cow milk or vegan milk vegan milk okay
19:50
so with this I think like I was just
19:53
thinking as you were reading and I’m
19:53
like what’s the point of doing this for
19:55
cereal and I think like it’ll be better
19:58
if this was available year-round because
20:01
when you’re eating cereal with with your
20:02
when you’re a kid and you’re eating
20:04
cereal at home I think you spend a lot
20:07
of time like not wanting to pay
20:09
attention your parents and reading the
20:10
back of the box so if it had this
20:12
message about love and acceptance then
20:15
you were able to like read that every
20:17
morning before you go to school then
20:19
you’re taking out with you whatever I
20:20
think today well it times I think it’s
20:22
almost like one of those like the
20:24
importance of like representation
20:26
matters type things like imagine if you
20:28
did start your day with an affirming
20:30
message I would even go as far to say
20:32
like instead of anti-bullying like maybe
20:35
we could even push to have a cereal box
20:37
that like affirms queer people in the
20:39
morning is that when you are chowing
20:41
down on your Apple Jacks it’s like boo
20:42
boo honey if you want to wear a skirt to
20:44
school pants in school whatever you want
20:45
to wear to school you are beautiful you
20:47
are you do you want to twerk on the way
20:49
to school
20:50
why do I have do you what do you think
20:53
hmm that’s weird is this to me shirts
20:55
and pants and talk ain’t working if
20:59
you’re a young person watching this
21:00
backing coming later to the tour
21:02
yeah okay okay you can start now into
21:06
the musical dance that does not have to
21:07
be sexualized you’re right okay
21:08
dare you like the combo I like it I
21:12
would have never thought to make some of
21:14
things me too well I look so did you not
21:16
really mix Syria I feel like I feel like
21:18
there’s two types of period and world
21:20
people who make serials and those who
21:21
don’t and I’m a serial mix I’m coming
21:23
out as a serial mixer it’s a little
21:26
heavy let it till it’s like not xi
21:28
anymore so you can’t come out on us all
21:30
no you have to wait until next usually
21:32
this bullying I mean where is the
21:36
bullying please just kidding me open
21:38
policing are they missing essential
21:39
killers
21:40
[Music]
21:42
what about pops I I need milk don’t know
21:46
where the milk where’s your mouth oh
21:47
that’s right here can I have the cow’s
21:49
milk for the house oh yeah so driana I’m
21:52
curious here we go
21:53
to hear about your experience with
21:56
bullying if you’d be willing to share
21:57
sure you know bullying it was this thing
22:05
that happened in a weird time I
22:07
immigrated to the state’s when I was
22:09
about five and was a super FEM kid
22:13
without really knowing it I was just
22:15
feminine but had no idea that that’s
22:17
what I was and since school I started
22:19
getting called names like Mariposa which
22:21
means butterfly that’s beautiful I know
22:23
and for me I was like oh that’s not bad
22:25
but then I realized oh that’s not a good
22:27
thing what they’re trying to say is that
22:28
I’m feminine and therefore that’s not a
22:30
good thing and then that led to kids you
22:33
know not wanting to play with me and you
22:36
know excluding me from kickball of the
22:38
things like that and so I quickly
22:40
learned that oh femininity is not a good
22:43
thing and so then that became my life it
22:47
was this hyper awareness that I was
22:49
different that I was feminine and that
22:51
those weren’t good things to be if you
22:53
had been assigned male at birth and so
22:56
you know that was my life all through
22:58
school it was just and it got worse and
23:02
worse where it just became verbal and
23:04
then it became physical with getting
23:05
beat up and getting things
23:08
and so you know it was just this thing
23:11
that kept getting worse until I got to
23:13
high school and that’s where I finally
23:16
started to make friends and started to
23:18
meet people who were also LGBTQ and
23:21
maybe just didn’t know it or didn’t
23:23
identify that way but there was a
23:24
connection and so for me going to school
23:28
was a really traumatic and scary thing I
23:31
hated it I hated going to school every
23:33
day but I also grew up with this idea
23:37
from immigrant parents that you had to
23:39
get your education because that meant
23:40
you would get a good job in then that
23:41
meant you can support yourself so it was
23:43
this sort of duality of like I have to
23:46
go to school and even though I hate it
23:47
and it’s dangerous for me but I do want
23:50
to succeed in life and I want to be able
23:51
to support myself and so that was my
23:54
life for all of my childhood
23:57
so yeah when so she’s gonna kind of
24:01
turned around in high school and this
24:02
was he said in the US right yes yeah
24:04
this was in California in California so
24:07
did you did you think that there was
24:10
like a moment where can you wear maybe
24:13
like it turned around for you or were
24:15
there other people that you met that
24:16
like were able to change the way that
24:18
you associated with school you know
24:20
thank the universe for schools that are
24:24
sort of focused on the arts so I went
24:26
for to the Los Angeles County High
24:28
School for the Arts oh my god and that
24:30
was are they’re trying out there oh my
24:32
god yes it was fine art dance and music
24:36
and theatre and so it was all the the
24:40
quote-unquote freaks and LGBTQ people of
24:43
various schools and so we all sort of
24:46
were brought together and had this
24:48
connection of I didn’t fit in at school
24:50
but here I feel good about myself and I
24:53
have people who are similar and have
24:54
similar stories and so that’s when I
24:56
started to make friends and that’s when
24:58
I came out first as gay because there
25:01
was no other term for it but there was
25:03
no trans there was no transgender later
25:06
on it was transsexual right um but for
25:10
me the only thing was gay that’s the
25:12
only thing I could sort of grasp that
25:13
sounded correct you know yeah and so
25:16
yeah high school was a revolution
25:19
I started going out and like actually
25:21
having a social life and meeting friends
25:24
who are a lifelong friend so I still am
25:26
connected with today so it saved my life
25:28
it really did I was thinking about as
25:30
you were talking how well obviously my
25:32
Cosette is a big well not slur but it’s
25:37
like a word thrown I’m young like let
25:39
necks clear people and then if you’re
25:40
gay obviously it’s like my comb or
25:42
whatever but it gets worse it gets worse
25:44
um drop the pasta oh yeah but I’m
25:48
thinking about like how much like when
25:50
we did the talk here about trans stuff
25:52
at Grindr and into for our employees how
25:55
like butterflies are a symbol for trans
25:59
and queer people now and it’s like this
26:02
odd reclamation of the term for Latin x
26:05
equals that has no one in English cause
26:07
someone butterfly but that’s what the
26:09
word is in medical stuff so it’s like
26:11
you know yeah you know I evolved right
26:14
exactly
26:15
I felt like a cocoon up until yeah the
26:19
wings came out and I could spread them
26:22
in five what do you what would you say
26:25
to kids who are dealing with bullying
26:28
currently you know I think when you’re
26:31
in school it just feels like that is
26:33
your life there’s no you don’t see past
26:35
it and you just think this is it this is
26:37
how horrible it’s gonna be forever but
26:40
it flies by before you know it high
26:42
school junior high school are done and
26:44
over with and you’re on with your life
26:46
and so find your tribe find those things
26:51
that make you feel good for me it was
26:53
art you know because I didn’t have any
26:54
friends I just started to draw and
26:56
started to be creative and that was my
26:58
safe space and that’s what made it
27:00
possible for me to get into the high
27:02
school for the arts so I think it’s
27:03
important to find that thing that
27:05
fulfills you that gives you bliss that
27:08
makes you feel good about who you are
27:09
and sometimes that’s a group of friends
27:11
sometimes that’s just one person and
27:13
sometimes that’s something that you get
27:15
to do that you love whether it’s like
27:16
art or sports or what-have-you
27:19
so I think find your bliss and for me
27:23
in retrospect I see the value of it it
27:28
gave me the independence that I have
27:30
today it gave me the strength and I have
27:32
today and I don’t regret anything that
27:34
happened all the horrible things getting
27:36
food thrown at me being tripped yeah you
27:39
know being physically assaulted in
27:40
school weirdly enough I don’t regret it
27:44
now because it made me stronger I feel
27:46
the same way looking back on trauma with
27:49
nostalgia yes this morning and I was
27:53
thinking about how like I’m not a person
27:55
who really appreciates mainstream
28:00
aspirations so I don’t care about having
28:04
a traditional life and I think that if I
28:06
wasn’t bullied or queer in the way that
28:10
I’m queer I would have been in that trap
28:13
and that feels like a trap and when
28:14
you’re talking and we’re thinking about
28:15
butterflies – it’s like you transform
28:18
into this thing and then you you get to
28:20
be whatever your colorful you’re
28:22
beautiful you take flight you don’t have
28:23
to be in this linear path to normalcy
28:27
that’s totally boring unexceptional and
28:30
disinterested uninteresting to me well
28:33
you know it’s interesting for me because
28:34
I feel like the bullying taught me like
28:38
my type of humor is like a very
28:40
self-deprecating humor I think it’s like
28:42
a lot of people have that but it’s like
28:43
I also I feel like have the power to
28:46
talk about my faults faster than anybody
28:49
– it’s like you’re gonna come in and
28:50
call me fat like you know how long how
28:52
unoriginal and how long you have calling
28:53
me fat you want to really get at me talk
28:55
about my tip so you talk about my
28:56
big-ass chest like talk about there’s so
28:59
many things that I can mess up that are
29:00
more original than just like shaving me
29:02
from yeah fat and like I get really
29:04
granular right really deep to be able to
29:07
actually cut me because I’ve built a
29:09
very fun right it doesn’t fucking matter
29:12
and also the other piece of that too is
29:15
that you have to like what I was talking
29:16
about Julie’s and Christy’s it’s like I
29:18
don’t and sorry to any Julianne Academy
29:21
listing but I do think like you if
29:24
you’re not involved in this like
29:26
hierarchical expectation of normal life
29:29
for
29:30
people who don’t have this path then you
29:33
by default are gonna have a more
29:35
exceptional life and you’re not gonna
29:37
have to be trapped in this idea of what
29:40
is expected of you whether it’s from
29:42
your parents or from society and you get
29:44
to explore in a way that’s like way more
29:46
freeing yeah yeah and I’ve always seen
29:49
it as a purse and a blessing at first it
29:52
was a curse because I felt like oh my
29:53
god nobody likes me why I different why
29:56
was I born this way or later but then
29:58
eventually it got to a point where I saw
29:59
it as a gift because then I felt free
30:02
I felt fuck that bullshit then I’m just
30:04
gonna be me and I’m gonna be crazy I’m
30:06
gonna wear clothing that I want and I’m
30:08
just gonna express myself how I want and
30:09
if people don’t like it well too bad for
30:11
them and that was liberating and you
30:14
know you see your friends try to fit
30:16
into these boxes and suffer through life
30:19
because you know they’re trying to be
30:20
the perfect girl or the perfect butch
30:22
guy and that’s just not in them and so
30:25
you know to a certain extent I felt it
30:28
was kind of a gift after a while it felt
30:31
like a curse but after a while I felt
30:32
like I feel so free and I feel so happy
30:34
to be connected with Who I am and then
30:36
later on you meet people who are just
30:38
starting to connect with their authentic
30:40
self and you just feel sad for them that
30:43
it took you this long to just realize
30:45
who you are it’s almost more pain I’m
30:47
getting that like you know pummeled into
30:49
you as a child yeah so John do you
30:52
commit to getting some silly string on
30:54
you sure people to share their trauma
30:57
here I’m not fall
31:05
oh okay guys feel about dry cereal like
32:02
like like moisture only wet I go both
32:09
ways
32:14
[Laughter]
—

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