Recently, I received an email from a woman who started the email with these sentences: “I have so many first dates. How come I don’t get a second date? Why are so many men not attracted to me?” Let’s break this down.
When you’re out on a date:
• Are you complimenting the guy?
• Are you being flirtatious?
• Are you touching him at all on his arm? On his shoulder?
• Are you leaning in when he speaks?
• Are you smiling and laughing at his stupid jokes?
Basically, how much flirting are you doing and how much time are you spending thinking about how much he likes you?
In order to secure a second date, you need to realize that you may need to go on 50 first dates before you have a second date. I once knew a woman who went on 75 first dates before she had a second date.
Dating is all about learning how to relate to yourself. If you believe that you’re a great person and that you’re a fantastic catch, then you’ll start to get second dates. If you embrace your body, your face and your mind, you will get second dates. If you flirt with men so that they know you are sexually interested in them, then you will get second dates.
The only way to learn how to do this is to go out on “throw away dates.” These are dates that are going to teach you how to flirt, how to relax, and how to feel totally comfortable around men.
To those of you that have read or listened to any of my courses, you know that I teach you how to do “hello practice.” “Hello practice” is where someone says hello to everyone they see so that they’re more relaxed when they speak to the opposite sex.
In order to be a good dater, you have to go out and date. It may take you 10 dates . . . or it may take you 50 dates. Once you’re relaxed in the presence of a man, you will then see your second date ratio increase. So, get out of the house, put up a profile on match.com, and do whatever it takes. Start accepting as many dates as you can.
After all . . . a date a day keeps the love doctor away.
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What We Talk About When We Talk About Men
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Originally Published on David Wygant
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