Stop Saying Hello in Women’s Direct Messages

Women don’t want to talk to strangers.

Most walk around with resting b*tch faces. It’s a chat blocker.

Women want to discourage random men from entering their personal space. She walks fast. She avoids eye contact and, when possible, walks with a friend. The effect? It reduces men’s boldness to cat-call her as she strolls the streets.

You are a man — you’re lucky. Not that you notice. But most women won’t invade your space to speak of lust for you. You might think that’s the dream. Cool. But women have built walls against such an approach.

You know how it is.

You send your shot. No reply.

If you’re lucky, you don’t also get blocked.

Women protect their physical space. They will guard their digital environment as well. And you aren’t making it easy on yourself by sending an everyday greeting. It’s polite. I’ll give you that.

But it will disappear in a sea of direct messages.

So, here is how you increase your chances of her replying.

Last resort

Women get tons of compliments.

Hold back on these until the conversation is underway. If you are a guy known for giving compliments, give one unique to her. Send a thoughtful one, likely to make her smile.

You don’t want to end up as a screenshot for ridicule in the group chat.

Reply earning message

Statements are easy to ignore.

A question creates a gap. It makes a woman wonder if she wants to reply. If your crush returns a message, she has to think about what to say.

Ask an open-ended question about a topic you know she likes.

Acknowledge her

A lot of men think women are selfish.

Women are human; human beings are selfish. Most people will make conversations about themselves if they get the chance.

I am writing this article, but it is about you. Do the same — acknowledge her.

You catch bees with honey, not vinegar. Acknowledge a similarity — a hobby, your recent trip to the same restaurant, or a shared interest.

If you like her as much as you think you do, you might have done some light stalking. Use it to your advantage. Point out a detail most other guys won’t notice.

Tip: Don’t lie or pretend to be someone you are not. State your greeting and share the shared connection you have with the woman. Nothing excessive. Keep it light.

Trend first

I have been a lurker.

I’m not even one to like posts by accident. Like one to three posts with the intention of getting her attention. If your crush has “caption this” challenges, play along. It makes you less random.

The woman has seen your light interactions with her page. She might have viewed your profile. This approach lets the woman see you as less of a stranger. You are a part of her online community.

Women have more patience for associates.

Super risky

Jokes are tricky. Mine rarely get received well.

But for a charming guy like you. It could work.

I’ve learned:

• Women get lots of cat-calls but tune them out.
• Most men slide into DMs with statements. Questions stand out.
• Women have many triggers. Jokes are a minefield.

Lead with more than a one-word greeting.

Let your first message be an organic start to a talk.

Thank you for reading.

© Article Written by Annie Wegner 2022

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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