I feel terrible. My friend has Covid for the fourth time. I had Covid one time, so I have an idea what he feels like. After I heard the bad news, I sent a text offering to clear his driveway of snow. His driveway is at least half a mile long and uphill all the way. (He has a tractor.)
Sympathy and empathy are good. Compassion brings tangible value.
Sympathy – empathy – compassion:
“What the world needs more than sympathy and empathy is compassion.” Adam Grant
Sympathy is feeling ‘sorry for’. I feel sorry for my friend with Covid. But sympathy by itself has little practical value. It might feel comforting to my friend, but when his driveway’s deep in snow feeling sorry for him is disappointing – when it’s in my power to meet his need.
Empathy is fellow-feeling – ‘sorry with’. I actually feel bad that he’s on his fourth go round with the coronavirus. Empathy and friendship go together.
For leaders, empathy is part of building trust. “When someone feels seen and heard by you, they begin to trust you.” Robin Stern
Compassion is more than sympathy and empathy. You practice compassion when you show up ready to help. Offering to plow a driveway is tangible.
Sympathy and empathy apart from readiness to help might have emotional value, but they have no practical value.
Sympathy is feeling ‘sorry for’.
Empathy is feeling ‘sorry with’.
Compassion is, “Tell me how I can help.” What if you can’t help? “When we can’t make people feel better, we can still make a difference by making them feel seen.” Adam Grant
You don’t have to feel other people’s feelings. You just have to care about their feelings. (Jordan, Amir et. al.)
How do you untangle these concepts?
Still curious:
7 Ways to Have Tough Compassion
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This post was previously published on LEADERSHIPFREAK.BLOG and is republished with Creative Commons license.
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