The 10 Crack Commandments of Flirting That You Better Not Break

Do you want to know how to flirt? Well, you’ve come to the right place because I’ll show you exactly how right now. Also, the video below features me and a friend demonstrating a real-world example of shameless flirting in action, so feel free to watch that if you don’t feel like reading.

Finally, before we start with the 10 crack commandments, I’ll lay out the true essence of flirtation. This will help you know exactly what you’re trying to do.

You ready?

Here come the pain!

Understand the true essence of flirting

Flirting occurs when two people are having a conversation in which their words are a smokescreen for mutual attraction. On the surface, they could be talking about anything in the world, Disney, GOT, Starbucks, Italian loafers, anything. However, deep down, they’re communicating how much they’re into each other. Here’s an example. Let’s say we’ve got a man and a woman at a bar playfully pushing each other.

The man says, “Don’t push me!” the woman says, “What are you gonna do about it?!” To which he says, “Push you back!” So she says with a smirk, “And I’ll push you back even harder!”

They’re not offended and have absolutely zero desire to hurt each other. They’re just using their playful argument as the vehicle to express their mutual desire to get jiggy with it.

They’re doing the adult equivalent of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails on the school playground.

That’s what flirting is, so realise that you can talk about absolutely anything when flirting as long as the underlying energy of your words is charged with a hint of playful sexuality.

Do you get me? Brilliant. Onwards with the 10 crack commandments of flirting.

1 – Thou shalt tease, tease, & tease some more

Teasing is a sensational way to flirt, but you need to remember that you’re not trying to be insulting. It should be clear from the time of your voice that you’re only being playful and gunning for a scintillating time. A great example is a running joke between me and the woman in the video where I repeatedly accuse her of being boring. I don’t mean it, so she’s not even slightly offended. The interplay between my words and the energy with which I say them makes for a fun and charged convo.

2 – Thou dost adoreth roleplay. Roleplay is thine amigo

Roleplay is to flirting as fertiliser is to a mighty oak tree. Any time you can create a fictitious scenario and run with it is brilliant and can lead to many a flirtatious hijinx. Maybe you guys are a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde who are gonna go on an intercontinental series of church robberies? Perhaps she’s your parole officer who decides at this very moment whether you’ll be granted freedom or sentenced to spend another 15 years in the slammer? Maybe you’re her seductive yet older university lecturer who needs to discipline her for her atrocious use of grammar? Get creative.

3 – Thou shalt giveth 100%. Thou know not how to holdeth back

At 2:29 of the video, you’ll see me setting up a joke where I specifically build and build the suspense to make the impact of my final reveal funnier. Of course, I didn’t know if it would work until I tried it, but that’s something to remember about flirting. You have to be in it to win it. This isn’t the time and place for holding back and being shy. Go for it, try something new, throw your energy into it, be brave, and see what happens. You can’t afford to hold back. That’s not sexy at all. Just go for it and dive in wholeheartedly.

Holding back is the enemy of not only flirting but fun social situations. In fact, a huge reason jokes don’t land is that we’re not confident when we say them. So, for the last time, be bolder than Conor McAli, and go for it with my sincerest blessings. Which, by the way, leads me to my next commandment.

4 – Thou shalt not sweat thine stumbles

If you mess up, keep going. It’s not a big deal. People have short memories so if you keep ploughing forward after a slip-up, they’ll forget in 5 seconds or less. What most of us do, however, is dwell on the jokes that don’t land or lines that weren’t as witty as they could have been. We obsess over that stuff, and it prevents us from being free in the future. I messed up in the above video when I wanted to say my sacral (sexual) chakra was overloaded and subtly implied that I was really horny. I actually said the wrong chakra, which ruined the joke and was a shame cause she’d have found it funny.

But still, it didn’t matter because I kept it moving, and so should you. Not every joke will land, so when that happens, realise it’s no Biggie Smalls and keep it moving. Don’t wallow or get hung up on it. Also, when talking about sex, doing so in a roundabout way will be unique, original, & not even remotely creepy. Don’t be vulgar and crass. Leave room for their imagination to fill in the blanks.

5 – Logic has no place within thine organisation

Anyone who follows my content enough will have heard me say that logic is the enemy of attraction, and that’s something you need to remember. You’re going for fun convos here, so leave the sober analytical talk for the office and let your hair down, even if you’re bald like me.

Getting value from this? If so, follow me on Medium to be notified of all my future 2X daily posts. Also, get my ebook 13 Ways to Make Her Want You. It more than delivers on its promise.

6 – Thou shalt liveth in the moment, b*tches

Be in the moment. Don’t overthink. Go with the flow & say whatever pops into your head. It’s much better to say something dumb confidently than to say something witty like you’re unsure of yourself. There’s a reason why Trump got elected. Remember that.

7 – Thou shalt readeth between the lines, you fool!

Pay close attention to the person you’re with. When people speak, they give clues about what they’re secretly thinking and who they really are. For instance, the woman in the video above gave hints that she’s into superheroes by referencing Bane from Batman, among others. The vast majority of girls aren’t going to casually mention a character like him in conversation, so for her to do that suggested she was really into superheroes. This led us to have fun bantering about different heroes, their abilities, and the superpowers we’d love to have.

8 – Thou shalt play with thy voice & embrace creativity

Go high and go low. Speak in a low, deep, and smooth tone, then raise your pitch until you sound like a chipmunk. Keep your partner guessing, have fun, be creative, and use the sound of your voice as the vehicle that takes your partner on a voyage of auditory delight.

9 – Thou are not married to any conversational thread

I’ve said before that being in the moment is crucial to successful flirting, and that wasn’t even close to being a lie. Something that happens to most of us is that we’ll get an idea in our head for an excellent point that we just have to make and won’t be able to think about anything else until it’s been said. So then it’s like we’re not really listening to the conversation or happening around us, we’re just waiting for our chance to speak, and I don’t need to tell you that this won’t help your flirtation one bit.

Your creativity will be stunted if you focus on yourself and not your partner or the mood you’re creating. You’ll miss opportunities for humour, teasing, or the escalation of deep sensuality. You’ll take the whole enterprise too seriously, and your energy will reflect that.

10 – Thou art who thou art and nothing less

This last commandment is probably the most important: to express yourself. Let your light shine, and be the best version of yourself that you were always destined to be. Be the best and brightest expression of you, and beam that Goddamn light so Goddamn bright that the people you flirt with are magnetised into your powerful orbit.

I’m serious, by the way, don’t try to imitate anyone other than the man or woman in the mirror.

Believe in who you are. Believe in what you bring to the table. Love yourself, and assume that they’ll love you too.

And there you have it. Some world-class tips for you to use to tease, tantalise, and flirt to perfection. Enjoy.

Chaos is a ladder.

Excelsior.

Ciaran

Did you get value from this? If so, follow me on Medium to be notified of all my future 2X daily posts. Also, get my ebook 13 Ways to Make Her Want You. It more than delivers on its promise.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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