Ty Phillips has 4 simple things he’d like to do before he leaves the earth. All are free and accessible to everyone.
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I’ve seen a great many lists on things every man or every woman should do before they die. They usually have a materialistic leaning: dinner at a five-star restaurant, a vacation overseas, randomly kiss a stranger (that one actually sounds fun). Rarely however do I see a list that brings the person to the here and now of their life. They instead continue the path of escapism that takes us away from our own minds, our own presence in the life we live.
I understand that for many who are downtrodden and hungry, escapism seems wonderful, and I can empathize. That being said, those same people will probably never be able to go overseas for a vacation on a yacht. As I thought about this, I found there were a few things that gave me a life affirming connection to the life I am in right now.
Walk Barefoot in the Woods
A little common sense with this goes a long way. Thinking you are tiptoeing through the tulips when in fact you are pouncing through the poison ivy isn’t going to end well. But try to connect. I look forward to my hikes every spring. The weather here is cold for long periods of time, and the chance to place my feet on warmly packed animal trails through the forest is amazing.
Walking barefoot forces us to slow down and connect to each step.
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Walking barefoot forces us to slow down and connect to each step. We often start a walk and end up at the end without ever having seen the path in between. Being barefoot connects us carefully with each step. We place toe to heal instead of our normal heal to toe stomp. We slow down and we notice the life surrounding us.
Interact With a Child
This one seems easy. We almost all have come across a child and talked or held one, but getting down on the floor, on their level, letting go of pretense and self awareness is different. We open up when we let go of self conscious ego. We find ourselves laughing and imagining as we once did, and the noise and chaos arounds us fades.
We find ourselves laughing and imagining as we once did, and the noise and chaos arounds us fades.
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We zoom with trucks and slurp at tea cups. We dance with ridiculous abandon as if no one is watching and before we realize how silly we look, we see something that changes us; delight in a child’s eyes. We see a sense of hope and wonder in them as we connect instead of push away their attempts to be loved.
Give Something Important Away
We all have special items on our shelves—something we feel defines us. A pair of designer shoes, a favorite handbag, a collection of comic books or sports memorabilia. For me, it’s books. I am a bibliophile and my basement study is covered wall to wall in books of all sorts. The point being, in most cases we set things on the shelves and they collect dust and we forget we have them. We usually have several items like this. Give one away.
It really is replaceable and in its place, we appreciate and connect to the joy we created in someone else.
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It seems like mission impossible. How do we choose, how can we part from it? What we quickly discover is that, it really is replaceable and in its place, we appreciate and connect to the joy we created in someone else. There is no reason to tell anyone you did this or to mark mentally how much the item was or was not worth. It’s the intent. The desire to understand what detachment really means and how little these self defining items are really worth in the long run.
Volunteer at a Hospice
This one has a caveat. It’s important, in my mind, to sit with someone as they die. In our culture this seems morbid. We shun death and aging at all costs. We lock up our sick and elderly in far away places that we nickname pleasant names like Shady Acres. The reality of these homes is far different.
The elderly wither away in neglect and sadness as boredom and loneliness take their toll. We have a chance to offer connection; to offer new life and meaning to them. We get to witness the change that a friendly voice, an open ear, or a loving hand can make. We see the sunken eyes gleam to life, the listless frame flitter with excitement, and if we are so luckily, we are there to comfort them in their transition.
Sitting with the dying is not easy. Sometimes it is a terribly sad process but it leaves us in a state of gratitude that we will never understand if not for being witness to it.
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Sitting with the dying is not easy. Sometimes it is a terribly sad process but it leaves us in a state of gratitude that we will never understand if not for being witness to it. Every item we take for granted, every morsel of food we waste, every smile we do not return, suddenly blossoms in our mind and we have an opportunity to be a part of this miraculous process of life.
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So, plant your feet, revel with a child, understand that items are just items and give respect in the end to someone who has no one. I think, much like me, you will gain a new appreciation for what life can mean.
Photo—Dieter Weinelt/Flickr