The Smack In The Face Every Dad Needs

Fitness and health don’t need to rule your life, but they should be a part of your lifestyle, especially if you’re a dad.

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Being a fat dad is awesome. False. It’s not at all. Let’s take a step back and start closer to the beginning of being a fat dad. 

I was in the best shape of my life the day before I started dating my girlfriend (who ended up becoming my wife). Of course, it’s not her fault that on that day, I stopped caring about staying in shape. 

I maintained for a while and worked out here and there. But since that day we started dating, I’ve gained somewhere around 90 pounds. The majority (60 pounds) of it I’ve put on since we had our first baby. Again I don’t want to point the finger, but the truth is there’s someone to blame. That someone is me. 

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Don’t coddle me, don’t feel bad for me, and don’t think I need counseling. What I needed was a good smack in the face. And I got one on my 31^st birthday while out to eat with my wife. 

She gave me a good teary-eyed talking to about being around to watch our kids grow up and taking care of myself and getting back in shape. Now, it’s not like I’m 500 pounds or in a wheelchair or carrying around an oxygen tank in a man purse or anything like. I mean, I don’t smoke a pack a day or eat pizza and wings for a snack before bed (although the thought had crossed my mind). But the truth doesn’t lie. 

I keep buying bigger pants and larger shirts. I don’t want to go to the water park or the local pool. I’ll keep my shirt on so I don’t get sunburned, at least, that’s my go-to excuse. Embarrassed of the way I look? Not me, I just don’t like swimming that much. What weirdo doesn’t like swimming? Even when my kids want to go and enjoy the splashing and fun in the pool with their cousins and friends, I’ll just sit here on the side and watch. 

“Daddy, come and play with us in the pool,” my daughters yell over and over. “Daddy forgot his swim suit girls; I’ll remember it next time.” Is this any way to live my life? No, no it’s not. Being a dad is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me in my life. It was easy too. 

We weren’t even trying; I mean I know how things work, of course, the birds and the bees. But all of the sudden I was a dad. And then I was a dad again. My two girls are the best, the smartest, the prettiest kids in the whole wide world. All dads know their kids are the best, I have the greatest sense of pride about them and who they are becoming, but not a lot of pride in myself. I mostly have a great deal of shame, hopelessness, and fear. 

The feeling of failure is strong with this one. Like I said before, becoming a dad is fairly easy and straightforward. The hard part is being a dad. Gaining weight is easy too. Very straightforward, no instructions needed. Staying fit, healthy, and active is the tough part. But it doesn’t have to be. 

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There will always be excuses, reasons, and explanations of why not to do something. The key is to keep it simple, have a plan, and be practical. I’m talking about being a dad. And I’m talking about getting fit and healthy. You want to be a great dad. 

Lead by example. Take time to go for a walk, a bike ride, a hike in the woods. Take time to grow food in a garden. Take time to cook on a stove with real food. Take time to go swimming. Turn the TV off, put down your phone, read a book, paint on the walls, color a picture. Being a fat dad is not awesome; neither is being an absent dad. 

Get involved in your life and make time for your kid’s lives, too. So far I’ve lost 10 pounds. I no longer snack at every night before bed, and now I’m sleeping better (of course I am because my body’s not trying to digest a sandwich at midnight). My wife and I are planning to expand our garden this spring and build a tree house for the girls. 

I bought an at home workout and nutrition program, which I love. And I have accountability. I started a podcast, Fit Dad Fat Dad. Every week I update my listeners about my progress and bring on guests to discuss the benefits, methods, and practical plans of a dad who leads by example. Fitness and health don’t need to rule your life, but they should be a part of your lifestyle, especially if you’re a dad.

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Photo: Flickr/ robhayes