The habits we do day in and day out define more than we realize. The time, the effort, and the cause and effect all influence who we are and where we want to be. Good habits help propel us forward, while bad habits suck time and energy, they can also damage our mental and physical health.
Do you have this bad habit?
Are you like me and struggle to get everything you want to accomplish done? As a solo entrepreneur, I do not have an accountability partner or a boss to define my schedule. It is only me, and if I don’t do something, the person I am letting down is myself.
One week ago, I decided to look at my day and figure out where I was losing time. I have many goals I want to accomplish, and although I am making progress, I know I can do better.
I took one whole day to write down what I was doing throughout the day, including meals, tv, shopping, Twitter, etc. Let me tell you; it was mindblowing!
It didn’t take me long to find the answer. I already knew I didn’t want to face it. I am addicted to playing games on my phone. I had this crazy idea that if I stayed away from gaming systems and only allowed two or three games on my phone, it would be ok. But those few games end up taking a lot of my time. If I am waiting on someone, I play a game. If I am watching tv with my family, I play a game. If I am in the car and I am not driving, of course, I will play a game.
The worst part is I love getting up and enjoying the morning, watching the birds, and drinking my coffee. But I realize now how little bird watching I was doing and how much screen time I was doing.
The thing is, I have quit before. But sooner rather than later, I would be downloading the apps all over again.
What science says about habits
We all have habits we know are not good for us. According to the National Institute of Health, when our actions become automatic, a habit, it allows our brain to function without conscious thought. It gives our brain time to focus on other things. Kind of like when you drive home from work for the umpteenth time, and you pull into the drive and realize you don’t even remember driving there.
Habits can also develop when good or enjoyable events trigger the brain’s “reward” centers. This can set up potentially harmful routines, such as overeating, smoking, drug or alcohol abuse, gambling and even compulsive use of computers and social media.
Dr. Russell Poldrack, a neurobiologist at the University of Texas, explains how this brain reward center feeds the habit that brings pleasure.
Enjoyable behaviors can prompt your brain to release a chemical called dopamine. “If you do something over and over, and dopamine is there when you’re doing it, that strengthens the habit even more. When you’re not doing those things, dopamine creates the craving to do it again,”
When playing games, my brain tells me this is an enjoyable activity, encouraging me to continue. Once I play it often enough, it becomes a habit, and I become addicted.
Initially, it was casual, but the more I played, the harder it was to stop.
How to stop bad habits
Dr. Jud Brewer of the Harvard Business Review suggests using mindfulness training. He encourages his patients to look into what is driving their habits. Patients are to evaluate what reward their habit was giving them, what it tastes/feels like, and what “high” they are achieving. Dr. Brewer wants them to identify how it currently makes them feel as to how it did when they started the habit.
By using mindfulness training to make people more aware of the “reward” reinforcing their behavior, I can help them tap into what is driving their habit in the first place. Once this happens, they are more easily able to change their association with the “reward” from a positive one to a more accurate (and often negative) one.
Steps to take to overcome those bad habits
- Join forces with an accountability partner.
- Identify triggers and avoid or find alternate activities.
- Start small and celebrate the wins.
- Recognize you will fall short. Just get back up and start again.
- Understand what value it is or is not bringing to your life.
- Replace with a healthy habit.
- Pay attention to how much time and energy your bad habit takes from your life.
How am I going to stop my bad habit?
James Clear, New York Times Best Seller of Atomic Habits, believes that bad habits provide some benefit in our lives, and it is hard to stop. The author suggests:
Because bad habits provide some type of benefit in your life, it’s very difficult to simply eliminate them. (This is why simplistic advice like “just stop doing it” rarely works.)
Instead, you need to replace a bad habit with a new habit that provides a similar benefit.
For example, if you smoke when you get stressed, it’s a bad plan to “just stop smoking.” Instead, you should devise a different way to deal with stress and insert that new behavior instead of the dangerous one of having a cigarette.
I have known for a while how detrimental my game playing has become. But it didn’t stop me from rationalizing it: “a few minutes can’t hurt — everyone plays sometimes — I deserve this break.” Yet, in reality, none of those excuses matter. What matters is that I deserve better than what I am giving myself. I have goals, but this habit is sucking time away from my life.
I recently came across the following article written by Jari Roomer, where he says, “if you traded just twenty minutes of mindless scrolling for twenty minutes of purposeful reading? You’d learn more, develop valuable expertise, and broaden your knowledge.”
10 Things To Do Instead of Scrolling Through Your Smartphone
“Don’t become a slave to technology — manage your phone, don’t let it manage you.” medium.com
I realized I missed reading but felt like I didn’t have the time. But that wasn’t the truth. I wasn’t using the time I had wisely.
I plan to substitute my lousy habit for something I want and will bring value to my days. When I crave picking up my phone and playing a game, I opt now for reading. I pick up a book I keep close by or my phone, which has books on it.
The results
It has been one week, and I feel much better about my days. I do not lie there and play games when I go to bed at night. I read if there is time; otherwise, I turn out the light and sleep. I am getting more work done in the morning and appreciating my time enjoying my cup of coffee and listening to the birds.
Today I think the universe is rewarding my efforts. As I quietly sat outside with my morning java look, who came to say hello? If I had my nose down playing on my phone, I most likely would not have been outside or noticed him as he came my way.
Only time will tell if I am successful this time. But I feel optimistic about this change. I occasionally miss the games but not enough to give up on my progress. Now I am contemplating which lousy habit will be next.
Let me know what habits you want to change and what you plan to do. Thanks for taking the time to read this piece, and I look forward to hearing from you.