The Ups and Downs in Well-Being Across Adulthood

Did you know that there are predictable ups and downs along the path to well-being? Indeed, as we move through the stages of adult development, we experience stable periods (within stages), and more tumultuous periods (between stages).

Although the research suggests that many of us will reach mid-stages and stop there (for example, Cook-Grueter, 2014; Wilber, 2000), other people will go through further transitions as they move along the path to greater well-being.

Phases on the Path to Well-Being

Well-Being Lows

Transitioning to a new stage of adult development involves letting go of our old worldview and self-view, which we now realize were incomplete (for example, O’Fallon, 2010). Despite this realization, we usually have not yet solidified the type of well-being of the next stage (O’Fallon, 2020). We generally have many negative emotions and experiences as our old worldview falls apart and nothing is yet there to replace it. During transitions, we are generally not aware that our worldview (or self-view) is changing. Usually, we just experience these transitions as highly distressing, without understanding why we are suddenly so distressed. Because of these challenges, we may be especially likely to seek support from a therapist or coach while going through a transition.

Well-Being Highs

At some point in each stage, we feel like we have mastered the world (as we see it through our current worldview). This is when both our world and our sense of self seem the most “solid.” During this phase, we may have many positive emotions and experiences and can easily find happiness in the type of well-being of that stage.

What Leads To Transitions

There seem to be two types of triggers that lead us to begin transitioning into a new stage. First is an external event (for example, loss of job, death of loved one). The second is an internal event (for example, unhappiness or dissatisfaction). Both kinds of events invite us to take a closer look at ourselves and our world.

As Spencer Johnson said, “Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.” Indeed, transitions are almost always painful or scary. The question often becomes, “How painful is it to continue existing as we are?” If we accept the invitation to move beyond our current stage, we eventually begin to see through it and expand beyond it. In time, this expansion generally helps us feel a greater sense of freedom and well-being.