The Weight of Trauma During the Holidays

𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙖𝙬, 𝙖𝙣𝙭𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬?

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything — both the good and the painful.

While some are sipping hot cocoa by the fire, others are quietly battling the weight of trauma, grief, and memories they wish they could escape.

For many, the holiday lights don’t shine quite as brightly. Instead, they illuminate old wounds: the absence of a loved one, fractured family dynamics, or the haunting pressure of unmet expectations.

This time of year seems to bring all the triggers to the surface.

Maybe it’s the empty chair at the table, reminding you of someone who’s no longer here. Or the overbearing relative whose comments always cut a little too deep. Perhaps it’s the financial strain of trying to make everything perfect, the loneliness of not being where you thought you’d be, or the sheer exhaustion of trying to meet everyone else’s needs while neglecting your own.

Then there’s the weather.

The shorter days, the gray skies, and the biting cold can do more than just chill our skin. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is real, and it creeps into our lives, amplifying feelings of sadness, anxiety, and even hopelessness. The lack of sunlight directly impacts our serotonin levels, throwing off our body’s rhythms and making the already heavy burdens of the season feel unbearable.

Trauma doesn’t take a holiday.

In fact, it often intensifies during this season. Memories of past holidays, where everything wasn’t as magical as we hoped, resurface. The expectations of cheer clash with the reality of unresolved pain, creating an emotional tug-of-war. For some, trauma shows up as anger or irritability. For others, it’s a deep sadness, a sense of being disconnected, or even physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues.

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The holidays can feel like a spotlight on everything we’ve lost, everything we wish we could change, or everything we feel we lack. The pressures of social media don’t help either, as we scroll through seemingly perfect holiday moments, comparing them to our messy realities.

And yet, trauma isn’t just about the big, defining moments of pain. It’s also the accumulation of small, unresolved hurts. The unspoken words, the unmet needs, the times we felt unseen or unheard. These wounds don’t go away just because there’s tinsel on the tree.

Changing the Landscape with Heart Coherence and SBL Integration

Here’s the truth: the holidays don’t have to feel this way. Trauma and its triggers don’t have to define your experience of this season — or any season, for that matter. Through the work I do with SBL (Soul-Body-Life) Integration and heart coherence, I’ve seen lives transformed, even during the most challenging times.

Heart coherence is more than just a concept; it’s a practice of aligning your mind, emotions, and body to create a state of harmony and resilience. It’s about reconnecting with your heart — literally and figuratively — and shifting your nervous system out of the fight-or-flight mode that trauma often keeps us trapped in.

When we focus on gratitude, love, and connection, we create a ripple effect in our bodies. Cortisol levels drop, the nervous system calms, and we feel more grounded. This isn’t just wishful thinking; it’s science. The heart has its own intelligence, and when it’s in coherence, it sends powerful signals to the brain that help regulate emotions and stress responses.

SBL Integration takes this a step further, addressing not just the symptoms of trauma but the root causes. It’s about bringing the soul, body, and life into alignment so that you can heal on a deeper level. This work isn’t about bypassing the pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about acknowledging it, holding space for it, and then choosing a new narrative — one that empowers rather than imprisons.

Let’s not overlook the role of light — both literally and metaphorically — in this healing journey.

During the darker months, the lack of natural sunlight can wreak havoc on our emotional and physical well-being. Light therapy, which involves exposure to bright, artificial light that mimics natural sunlight, has been shown to improve mood, energy levels, and sleep patterns.

When combined with the inner work of heart coherence and SBL Integration, light therapy becomes even more powerful. It’s not just about brightening your environment; it’s about brightening your internal landscape, creating a sense of hope and possibility even in the darkest times.

I’ve worked with clients who came to me feeling like they were drowning in the weight of the season. One client, a mother of three, was overwhelmed by grief after losing her own mother just before Christmas. Another, a man in his forties, was paralyzed by the pressure to provide a picture-perfect holiday for his family while secretly battling anxiety and depression.

Through our work together — blending heart coherence practices, SBL Integration, and light therapy — they began to see a shift. They learned how to regulate their emotions, release the weight of old stories, and create new, empowering ones. They started to experience the holidays not as a source of stress, but as an opportunity for connection, healing, and even joy.

You don’t have to wait for the calendar to flip to January 1 to start fresh.

Healing can happen now, even in the midst of the chaos and triggers of the holiday season. It starts with a choice — a choice to prioritize your well-being, to lean into practices that nourish you, and to believe that something different is possible.

It’s not about forcing yourself to feel “merry and bright” when you don’t. It’s about honoring where you are while also holding space for where you want to be. It’s about stepping out of autopilot and into intention, creating moments of coherence even when life feels anything but.

This holiday season, I invite you to give yourself the gift of healing. Whether it’s through heart coherence practices, light therapy, SBL Integration, or simply choosing to prioritize your own needs for once, know that you are worth it.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to explore my Soul-Body-Life Integration Program. It’s a space where you can step into your healing, reclaim your power, and create a life that feels aligned with your heart and soul. Together, we can navigate the triggers, the pain, and the pressure to uncover the peace and joy that’s already within you.

And because healing begins with connection, I’d love to hear from you. Share one thing that you’re grateful for or a holiday trigger you’d like to release in the comments below. Let’s hold space for each other as we move through this season, not with perfection, but with presence.

You deserve to experience the holidays in a way that feels whole, authentic, and healing. Let’s create that together.

As always loving you from here,

Rene Schooler

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