JJ Vincent asked people for their thoughts about the death of Fred Phelps. Here’s what they said.
After the death of Fred Phelps, I put the question out there: GLBTQIA** friends and allies – I would like to know your thoughts on the death of Fred Phelps.
Here are the answers I got. No names, no editing, just honesty and ages.
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Phelps. A misguided hateful human. But I think hateful out of fear. Too bad because when one is afraid one misses so many good things in this life. – Age 43
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Fred Phelps – I always thought the church was the exact opposite of “Christian” – their God is not Love, but Hate. In practicing those ‘values’, he helped galvanize support for the LGBT community. He raised awareness of everything that was WRONG with religion with respect to ‘queer’ rights, ‘gay’ agenda, etc. When they started protesting funerals of soldiers, funerals of children killed locally in that bus accident, etc. they inspired so many people to stand up against bigotry, not just standing up for the lifestyles of others. People who may not have had any reason to become allies became so because of the WBC’s outlandish behavior. When I heard that he was ill, I felt joy – someone who was the symbol of so much ugliness was going to disappear. The only thing I want to do to commemorate the occasion – a glitter party. I truly believe in taking the moral high ground, so .. no protesting his funeral. But, I’m not above a stealth glitter-sprinkling at his grave. I think you do unto others as you would have them do unto you – if so, a little satire is what he and the WBC asked for. I hope to see others protest his funeral, I hope to see many gestures of solidarity and support in the LGBT community because of this. To the WBC – he may be a martyr. To allies – he is the opposite, he’s the reason to stand strong. It would be easy to pretend this guy didn’t matter, if not for all the harm he caused so many innocent people. His WBC served as such a bad example, but I think they showed so much of the truth in followers of Christianity. The hate and anger in their hearts may only be more hidden, but those in the WBC were proud of their hate. It is as though they were perfectly normal Christians that simply lacked any sense of shame. – Age 33
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i read the article Rob Watson wrote on the effect Phelps and Westboro have had on the struggle for equality in the lgbtq community. the article said “Phelps held a mirror up to the homophobic Christians as to what their “principles” looked like. They did not like what they saw.” what if it was intentional? what if Phelps demonized himself, his family, and his church for the purpose of giving everyone else a common enemy? what if his contribution to the struggle for equality wasn’t ironic but rather intentional? what if he made himself the enemy so that others could have a face – something to band together over and rally against? -Age 34
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Fred Phelps: if there is any truth to the concept of an encounter with God (however you see him/her), Mr. phelps is surely now headed for another incarnation, since he didn’t get it right this time around. -Age 59
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There has been so much happiness on my feed today about this guy dying and I’ve just been sitting here thinking, why? This guy was a pain in the ass and had some really messed up views, but his death doesn’t change shit. He had already been pretty much out of commission (from what I understand of the recent articles I’ve seen) for a while, he and his followers are generally seen as legitimately insane people, and for all of the hate that came out of his mouth – he was one of the most unintentionally powerful forces for POSITIVE change in perceptions toward the LGBTQ community. He hurt a lot of people in a deep, personal way with his protests and his remarks. I am in no way trying to detract from that but, from my perspective, his hatred tipped the societal scales so to speak in favor of LGBTQ. For the people who are overjoyed at his death, that’s fine. They are entitled to be. It just really makes me cringe to know that, were he or his followers making the same remarks about a member of the LGBT community, there would be a giant uproar. You can’t demand respect and not give it. Ultimately, he’s just another guy – from another era- who got old and died. Some people are happy about it and some are sad, I imagine, just like any other human on the planet. His views don’t die with him (unfortunately) and the lasting impact of his life is a broader understanding and acceptance of me and my LGBTQ family. -Age 27
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Re Fred Phelps: He made it his life’s work to publicly express morbid satisfaction over the deaths of hundreds of people he never knew, adding an unwelcome and undeserved burden on the pain of the mourning families. The best slap in the face we can give him is refusing to return the favor. -Age 31
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There is no ambiguity, confliction or second thoughts for me about this guy. I’m glad he’s dead and hope that he is rotting in hell even as I write this. -Age 65
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It is difficult to not let Fred Phelps’ past influence the way he is thought of today, the day of his death. As the architect of so many funeral protests, whether they be at the grave of a soldier, an abortion doctor, a person who died of AIDS-related illness, etc., the Phelps’ and their kin saw no reason to back away from celebrating these deaths. They also took great pleasure in instigating arguments which, in turn, led to fisticuffs and because many of the family are attorneys, this led to lawsuits which the family won. This allowed them the funds to travel to the funerals they chose to picket. Supposedly before his death, Fred Phelps repented and said he was sorry for all of the picketing and regretted doing so. I do not know if I put value in his statement–or if I believe him at all. This could be a situation where a man, facing his mortality, knew that if he did not repent he would not go to the heaven he swore none of those whose funerals he protested at would go to. This is a time-worn plot, this repenting before death; prisoners on their way to the electric chair or a lethal injection table are said to repent and regret their crimes. I do not believe in a heaven or a hell; frankly, if all it takes to get into heaven is an “I’m sorry”, then this is not a place I’d like to be found in the hereafter. I distrust the sincerity of all of these criminals and count Fred Phelps among them. I do not believe in the Gates of Heaven, nor do I believe that Mr. Phelps was held up by a St. Peter and forced to list his crimes against man and humanity. If so, he would never be allowed entrance based on the callousness and disregard for the sanctity of human life that he displayed here on earth. My final thoughts: if there is a heaven, I do not want to spend my eternity around anyone like Phelps. If there is a hell, I do not want to spend my eternity around anyone like Phelps. If there is a purgatory, I do not want to spend my eternity around anyone like Phelps. There IS no place for him anywhere–just like there was really no place on earth for him here, other than his “church”, which he supposedly abandoned at the end and his family, which supposedly abandoned him at the end. Either way, he died a miserable man–which is how he spent his life, bringing and raining misery down upon others. It really is a fitting end to him. -Age 53
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While there will be a few people who will genuinely grieve this man’s passing – I am not one of them. I will not, however, celebrate this man’s demise in public because this would only give more fuel and credibility to those that remain. I will only smile when I tell my husband of his death for the world will be a better place with this man gone. I can only hope that his just rewards are to feel the pain in his afterlife that he caused so many to feel on this earth by his wicked, vile acts. -Age 50
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Sometimes people who pass are not worth mourning. However, I have one thing to say about Fred Phelps: Never before has a person who worked so hard to spread hate, instead spread unexpected love. His mission to create anger and hate resulted in people coming together who otherwise might never have met. LGBTQ people, straight people, leather-clad bikers, moms, dads, military, students, strangers, democrats, republicans, Christians and non-Christians…all joined together in support of one another, with peace and understanding. So rather than focus on the hate that he tried to spread, and directing that back at him, I choose to focus on what happened instead: love. -Age 32
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Phelps – “I will not picket his funeral because I don’t picket happy occasions. No, I’m not happy that he has passed away, I am happy that the world got a little bit better. There is a difference between the two events, though they are linked together by a man whose torment has finally ended. May he be shown the mercy and grace that he failed to show others during his life.” -Age 36
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I will never celebrate anyone’s death or destruction. I will always seek the healing lessons for humanity, even in the most hateful instances. I have not shared anything about Phelps’ impending death because this is the first thing I’ve seen that is a message of hope and healing. Beautiful and powerful and right on. -Age 43
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So, about the Phelps thing. I once said that I’ve never been happy to hear that someone died, but that when the day came, he’d be my first. I was right. I don’t take any kind of ghoulish pleasure in it and I know it won’t stop Westborough, but I’m still glad he’s gone. He was a legitimately terrible man by any metric, with no respect for anyone. He made the worst day of so many peoples’ lives exponentially worse with those funeral protests. So yeah. Not throwing a party, but I’m glad. -Age 27
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There will be more comments, I’m sure. He was and will continue to be a polarizing figure. I think the important thing to consider is this:
What will we do with the lessons he taught that we never wanted to learn?
—Photo eschipul/Flickr
More on the passing of Fred Phelps:
A Gay Dad’s Requiem on the Legacy of Fred Phelps
Fred Phelps is Dead. Here’s what this leader of hatred taught us about love.
The Positive Legacy of Fred Phelps
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Let’s not forget that as much as we can ‘look at the bright side’ of his efforts that inadvertently helped the LGBT cause, Phelps’ efforts caused an enormous amount of pain to LGBT people who watched silently at those colour blocked posters. Some were dealing, within themselves, with their sexuality in relation to their faith and some were loosing that battle and the efforts of Phelps may have helped push some wonderful people over the edge. They caused a deep pain that many have taken into their psyche and will forever have its memory. One doesn’t easily shake off an… Read more »
Fred Phelps helped people on the fence see and understand the logical end result of bigotry. Many chose to be more accepting because of him. That said, maybe now he’ll finally shut the f**k up.
Hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
He was a disturbed, misguided, unfortunately powerful person. But what is the point in hating him? What can that possibly provide those who did not know him, did not interact with him, and now never will? There’s a difference between hating him and putting an end to bigotry and homophobia.
Fred’s extreme views accidentally did a lot of good for the LGBT cause. By being such a cartoonish caracature of hate, he made a lot of homophobic christians sit back and look at their prejudices with shame and realise that they should be more accepting of other’s differences. Ultimately he failed spectacularly in his quest.
Phelps was the antithesis of true Christianity and morality. We can only hope his family and minions choose not to carry on in his hateful and divisive way(s).
First of all this comes from a heterosexual man. I think what Fred Phelps said about the homosexual community was an abomination and as fair from being a Christian as anyone could imagine. I imagine his soul is frying very nicely right now in the place down below. I accept a person for what’s in his/her heart, not his/her sexual orientation. I have several close friends who are homosexual. I love them and I enjoy being with them.
Sorry about the typo in the second line. Should read “an abomination and as FAR” (not fair) I should have proofread this before hitting send.
Fred Phelps would have hated me, picketed my funeral and danced upon my grave. Yet for all his vitriol, I can only imagine a darkness within someone’s soul so intense it spilled out like that. Living in his own skin must have been a greater torture than any unpleasantries he managed to share with others.
If there is reincarnation after death and Fred Phelps showed up at my door as a skinny cat asking to come in from the cold, I would take him in. I’m such a sucker for redemption..
Fred Phelps does not deserve to be remembered, period. Remembering him and his views gives him and his followers attention, which is what they wanted all along.