Give up! Give up, a voice inside me says. It won’t. There is no love like that.. As I say these things, it’s like it’s getting harder for me to breathe. Oxygen is running low.
The sun suddenly disappears and all the darkness descends on me. My lack of you enters the room. He is sitting across from me. You don’t see it, but she’s screaming at me that she’s not actually me for months. I shut up. If I speak up, he’ll turn out to be right, I know.
Until now, I’ve always consoled myself by finding excuses. But it doesn’t anymore. I can not find. I wonder how far there can be an explanation. He just doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it and he doesn’t want it. With her friends, she doesn’t call me because I’m redundant.
It does not keep it in the same environment because it is not clear why I should be. Oh boy! Where did this love fall for you? Where did I find you? How did I find this impossibility?
My darkness disappears with a message, yes, but then it comes again. I want it to happen all the time. I’ve already experienced a miracle once in my life. It was you. It was so nice that you came.
I can’t help but wonder if this is the end of us. Are you going as unaware, silent and noble as your arrival? Will your eyes never look at me again.. Not knowing this is so frightening that you can’t know. Will it not tremble again when my voice hears your voice..
Will our story end as silently as it started quietly.. Am I silently losing this silent war I’ve been fighting for months? It’s like he doesn’t want to be hit. What am I going to do? Believe me, I don’t know the answer to that either. I wanted to be happy with you.
Every time I came to you, I believed, because I wanted to believe. But I don’t know how much longer I can fool myself. It’s like I’m done. Loving you without you consumes me more every day. I’m running out without noticing. I feel a little more you every day, a little more me is breaking out of me. What happened to us..
What have I done to you, that I am taking this punishment Look, that song is playing again. It’s going to destroy me soon. I will remember that night when we were happy again. I mean, was it all a lie?
Look, my absence is not looking for you at all. It’s pretty clear he didn’t. It hurts. My heart hurts so much. I can’t describe, I can’t speak, I can’t explain. Honey,
I’m done. Help me. I’m lost, about to crumble. What happens? Last time. Come. Do not go..
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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