My brother, who’s on Tinder told me that online dating sucks.
I mean, nothing new here.
I felt the same exact way back in 2019 when I was single.
However, what’s interesting is now in 2023, singles seem to give up on dating altogether.
Here’s why.
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Most people don’t find dating Apps work for them anymore
Swiping on dating apps is no different than scrolling on Instagram. Over time, you treat it as if you’re going for online shopping — finding what you like.
It’s no surprise when you use it long enough, it makes you feel more anxious and depressed. A study from Western Sydney University confirmed that.
It’s hard to normalize looking for a serious partner on dating Apps when most people are already so deep into the hook-up culture.
You might find more options in a short amount of time but you’ll also be so freaking exhausted from swiping.
My husband and I met online but looking at the surroundings, sometimes I feel like I’m just lucky. Many people have tried for many years to find the one yet always end up with the bad ones.
When it comes to online dating, I doubt there’s a specific strategy that works. But one thing we all can agree on is that dating apps just suck for most people.
And if you found someone you truly like and who likes you back, consider yourself lucky.
From creating healthy boundaries to just staying single
If you’re on social media, you’ve probably noticed how singles preferred to just stay single nowadays.
Why?
Because they realize swiping on a dating app is like gambling. You keep trying and trying until you’re mentally exhausted.
There are many dating gurus out there who told you to create boundaries and stay true to yourself.
In reality? it’s so much easier said than done.
Sometimes creating healthy dating boundaries doesn’t mean anything when the market is just shitty.
You could be saying “no” to all the bad ones and leave with one or two options that match your standards.
But, relationships in general are just…complicated.
What looks good on the screen doesn’t always turn out right for you. A strong chemistry doesn’t cut it anymore.
I’ve had many people around me who break up with their partner every 2–3 years. Yes, sometimes it takes that long to figure out this person isn’t someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
A bitter truth but that’s what happens in most cases.
So this realization makes single people give up on dating altogether. There is a lot of content in teaching people how to maximize their single life.
Be it traveling solo, making new friends, or just existing…without worrying too much about relationships.
Back to the old ways
Remember how simple dating seemed to be back in the old days?
I’m sure you have heard stories about how your grandfather met your grandmother once and decided,
“Alright, let’s get married!”
People met their partner the traditional way: public library, any community, or even at the park while taking their dog for a walk.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
I get that it became a trend now of how online couples share their journey in closing the gaps. But trust me, it’s not as pretty as they show it on their Vlogs.
I know that for sure because I’ve gone through it myself.
Dating someone from a different country might sound cute and cool but in reality, it’s just full of heartbreaks.
Also, it drains your wallet like crazy.
So if you’ve been on the fence about whether or not you should delete Tinder, I highly suggest seeing it in the bigger picture.
Your love life doesn’t depend on a dating app. Even when you think it doesn’t and will never work for you, you shouldn’t feel like you’re cursed or something.
There are many ways to meet new people but first, you need to be open to it.
We’re so glued to our phones and a lot of times, we miss out on opportunities to have real conversations with someone new.
Dating might be hard in 2023 or the upcoming years, but you don’t have to give up what you want.
I’m sure deep down we all want that deep connection with someone — not just a short fling.
But again, you don’t have to follow what everyone’s doing. Find your own way, even if it doesn’t sound “cool” as anyone else’s journey.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Nik on Unsplash
