“Why does she dress like that? It is way too revealing.”
“He is just friends with them because they are popular.”
There we go. Growing up, I thought mean comments were a part of high school, or at least that was what my mom told me. Once you grow up, you will no longer deal with it. Mean comments and spreading gossip is attached to the youth. Wrong?
Once you grow up, it only gets worse. Leaving high school and starting your own life exposes you to a whole set of new remarks and comments that you do not want to hear.
“She is such attention seeker. It is unbelievable?”
“He is only with her for her looks.”
“They are such an odd couple. If he did not have any money, she would not look at him.”
Being an adult takes the mean comments to the next level. It does not stop when we grow up. We pick about money and social status. Adults make it worse. Instead of looks, it is status — money and sex that matter now. Adults shoot lower. Slut-shaming is only one of the many tactics they use to expose each other. As a kid, I never noticed. Adults seemed much more mature to me. They would never do that. At least that was what they told you. Gossip has no age limit. The older you get, the more you have to complain. My grandparents are a great example to add. They are the biggest rumor spreaders I know. Whatever happens in their neighborhood, they know about it, and they comment on it.
We all know it is not right
But we still engage in spreading the bad word and making sure that it came not from us. Once somebody starts running the mouth, we can not help ourselves. We blindly engage in negative talk. Why do we still do it? Why can we not get ahead of ourselves?
Talking bad about others highlights our weaknesses
Nobody is strong all the time. We need to allow weakness to grow stronger, but it is hard to build something good on the negative ground. Taking somebody down never uplifts you as a person. It just shows your weakness. If you are as strong as you say you are, there is no need to take somebody else down. Strength does not highlight negativity. It shines bright and illuminates.
We give tacit apporval
How many times have you nodded when you did not mean it? Sadly, we have a lot of respect for the bully. It is hard not to give tacit approval. Not putting up with the drowning activities requires you to stand up. But it is also the right thing to do. If you do not agree, state your point. It is pointless to be a bystander because next time, it can be you.
We care too much
We all care too much about what other people do. If you are grown up, you should act mature and be who you want to be. Being selfish can be a good thing. Why bother what other people do? You are grown up, and so are they. It is not your place to say all the time that they are wrong.
We can not keep our mouth shut
Bad news travels fast. But you can be the force time to stop them. Next time you hear something negative keep it to yourself and do not talk with anybody about it. As soon people stop talking the bad news will die.
Is it other people we talk bad about?
No, it is not. Every negative comment highlights our weaknesses. Hate puts us all done. You see it in the news, and you hear it from your neighbors, friends, and family. Talking bad about others shows our lack of respect and tolerance. What makes us better? Nothing. Running our mouth makes us look worse.
This post was previously published on Medium.
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