What to Do When the World Doesn’t Make Sense

A recent death in my family while I was on the road left me in a daze. Hearing bad news while you are travelling is a confusing thing; you want to take a moment to pause and digest but you can’t because you are required to move to the next destination.

But one thing I was sure about was that life did not make sense anymore. Everything seemed urgent but futile. Fortunately, I was on the last part of my trip so I reached home quickly. Except that did not really resolve the senselessness I was feeling.

My complex sentiments were also due to adapting to life post-pandemic.

The new world

I realised that it is a mutual feeling shared with many: that we were just thrown into a post-pandemic world without really being equipped for it.

The critics would argue that we can learn on the go and re-adjust accordingly. But that should not dismiss the fact that it is hard, puzzling and just….does not make a lot of sense.

People are trying hard to go back to their normal lives in the new world. Airports are in a frenzy, aeroplanes are packed like bloated cans of sardines, and it is holiday catch-up time.

The world does not need permission from us to forge ahead but some of us are just not ready for it. Some of us wanted a bit more time to be thoughtful about it. That is an impossible demand it seems.

But that is the new normal in a way: living without understanding while watching the world play catch-up and by the time we comprehend even so much as a nugget of it, the needle has shifted.

Take your time

The one thing I hate the most when people talk about death is ‘the show must go on’. If life is a show, that means it has an audience and you need to be seen.

But you are allowed to disappear for a while. You are allowed to take an extended intermission. Excluding responsibilities that pay your bills, you can choose to slow down. You can downright do nothing else. You can just stare at the ceiling until you feel ready to interact with the world again.

I am not advocating being antisocial but choosing your circle. Restricting access to you if needed. If there is one person that helps you navigate the current situation better, then forget the rest.

Finding hope

We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope — Martin Luther King Jr.

When the world kickstarted in action mode once the dangers of COVID faded, we had hope that maybe things would be different. But the sad reality is that the problems that took a backseat due to the pandemic resurfaced: climate change, inflation, inequality, poverty and the like.

Perhaps, we were too focused on dealing with the current situation and not falling sick that we forgot about those. Perhaps, it was also wishful thinking that they might have gone away or we would be better able to handle them.

But they were still there all along, quietly gaining in intensity until they were brought to light again. And it feels easy to lose faith in humanity again with the monumental problems facing us.

But to be able to find hope in everyday living seems to be helping me. It does not clarify the big picture yet but I can rely on the bits and pieces of joy I experience during the day to hold on.

Self-acceptance

I had no idea how much the pandemic changed me until I travelled this year. I had developed mid-agoraphobia from being indoors and alone for too long (but I am still social and friendly). I started getting panic attacks out of intensified hypochondria.

As a coach, I live for personal growth. I love aspects of personal development and watching humans transform (myself included). Perhaps what I did not foresee coming is personal regression.

But is it really a step back or just a collective change? We have all experienced some level of change, and while the circumstance was unique at that point in time(pandemic), the repercussions were shared.

Some of us bore the brunt to a greater level but whatever the extent of change or affliction, grace is important. Perhaps life feels senseless, more so that we cannot understand what is going on inside of us rather than outside.

Accepting where we are, how we are feeling, and how we are operating is key. It is totally fair to say we are all trying to be the best version of ‘normal’, watching others dive deep into their lives post-covid. But we don’t need to do the same. We can just be us, whatever that represents at that moment in time.

And perhaps, we can also forgive ourselves that we are not where we thought we would be three years down the line. It is not us. It was the universal blow of a global virus.

Final thoughts

As time go by, we will gain more insight, so there is room to be hopeful. Right now, the vision is still blurred. And it does not seem to be the case when we look outside and things seem clear-cut from an outside perspective.

Right now, the blocks that were destabilized are being put back into place. That will take time before we can use hindsight to look back and make a thorough conclusion. I hope that, by that time, we have been more acquainted with ourselves and have managed to build a full picture of hope out of the bricks we grasped onto.

It does not need to make sense for you to live expansively. Be a life participant but to the extent that feels right to you.

For now, ditch the picture of what it is supposed to look like. Forget the world, remove anything that makes you feel bad for no reason, let people do them, and you do you. Be kind to yourself.

Find a friend or loved one and make sense of interpretations of things together. Share moments. But please do me a favour, and look for the tiny elements of hope. Because tomorrow they will be part of you and help you advance to the next part of the journey.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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