A woman hopes Eli and Josie can shed some light on why guys are so obsessed with her rear-end.
Dear Sexes: This might be totally silly, but what is it about women’s butts that is so attractive to men and makes them comment? I have a couple of outfits I no longer wear because of the comments men say. Thanks.
She Said: I don’t think it’s just about butts, depending on the girl and the guy, it can be about anything… I definitely have one v-neck tee shirt that is a conversation stopper. “Hey Jos, how are—-“[eyes go to chest, all talking stops for about a second and a half]. And therefore I don’t like wearing it without a big scarf or a tank under it. And it’s just a v-neck!
Ultimately, I think that unless you’re in an intimate relationship with someone, they should keep their comments to themselves when it comes to your parts, especially the sexualized ones. It’s Street Harassment, and it really is harassment. Some people think they have the right to say whatever they want just because they feel it, but they need to realize that words can be violations too.
Same goes for girls. I know guys who are really uncomfortable when girls say, “nice ass” or something like that out of nowhere. Then they feel they should be proud and it all gets very confusing. Fact is, no one likes feeling dehumanized. Liking someone’s ass and saying something to them about it is not the same as giving them a genuine compliment. It often makes them feel sexualized, like their only function is to be a sexual object. Guy or girl—it feels gross to most people.
Wear what you’re going to wear, and try to find a great retort for this type of attention. Something like, “I’d rather not talk about my ass if you don’t mind” or “Ever heard of Street Harassment?” or “Don’t be a creep.” Sure, some guys are going to object to being called a creep, but here’s a newsflash: If you’re a stranger commenting on a woman’s ass, you’re a creep. Back off.
He Said: First off, you should never let obnoxious cat-callers discourage you from wearing what you want to wear. Don’t expose all your ASSets, leave something to the imagination. But (within reason) don’t let others dictate who you are, or how you want to dress yourself. That’s called sexual harassment, and it should not be tolerated.
Now, let’s talk about butts. What’s not to like about about a nice gluteus maximus? Guys are aesthetic creatures, so the mere site of a sweet butt, can send us into excitement overdrive. A plump tush, parading past on the street, offers tantalizing excitement, of what might be. We immediately think of the possibilities. Perhaps we’ll get to touch that butt (or one like it) with our bare hands. Perhaps we’ll get to bite it. Maybe we’ll get to “explore” it. And who knows, that sweet butt might even have a banging body, attractive face, and a wonderful person attached to it.
Promises, promises! Guys are incredible optimists when it comes to a smokin’ rump. We’re also fairly savvy and experienced. We know that sometimes, a butt is just a butt – without all the sweet amenities attached. And don’t even get me started on dishonest pants. Sometimes pants lie to us, and no guy likes being lied to by a pair of pants, especially when it has to do with a sweet ass.
P.S. – There’s many men out there, thus all types of butts are appreciated by someone. Unless you’re planning on cutting off your own ass (we here at She Said He Said strongly discourage self-mutilation), or wearing baggy sweatpants the rest of your life, there will always be dudes commenting (aloud or to themselves) about the status and wonder of your butt. Bottoms up!
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Image of zebra rear-ends courtesy of Shutterstock