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Calls
I send messages to men and women alike. Some of them I know. Some I don’t know at all, we’re friends on social media via shared connections.
Maybe blame Facebooks algorithms for what statuses show up in my feed, but I often see posts that signal a change in attitude or outlook from people, even those I don’t know. It’s then that I send a message.
Why? Well. Why not. It takes so little effort to reach out, even if you aren’t sure it’ll be well received. I spend fifteen seconds or so typing the words, “I noticed your last post, and it seems like maybe you’re a little down. If you need to talk or vent, I’m here to listen.” Yes, I’m self conscious, especially when it’s a woman, of being “that creepy dude from the internet.” Self conscious enough that I even joke about it. But still I do it.
I don’t know if it makes a difference very often, but I know what it’s like to be in pain and not want to burden friends again and again. I know what it’s like being unable to explain why I’m so miserable. And I know what it’s like when someone who has been there lends me a shoulder or props me back up.
Yeah. Some of you may think “creepy old internet dude” and message back “I’m fine. Thank you.” Some of you may be too proud to admit you’re struggling. And some of you may think “fucking delicate snowflake. I can handle my shit.”
That’s cool. But I see you. Thats the important thing I think. To be seen, to no longer feel like 1 of 7 billion or so. Social media is responsible for so much bad shit. But if we stopped for a moment and actually read the statuses of people we have connected with and SAW THEM instead of just looking at them, we could change the world.
Maybe I’m that guy that you dread seeing a message from. You can always say so. “Hey Shawn, I appreciate the note, but I’m not entirely comfortable with this.”
Trust me. It’s OK. My anxiety at writing it, even when the response is warm, whether you’re male or female, is through the roof. But I’ve been in some pretty shitty places mentally and I’ll take the chance every time if it makes someone feel a little less isolated. Hell, I may even get a friend out of the deal.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images
Thank you for putting yourself out there and making the attempt to reach out, regardless of how it’s received.