Because running empties my mind.
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The Good Men Project Sports asked why we run.
In this feature series, we share your answers.
This is from GMP International Sports Editor David Packman:
Last Friday evening, I went for a run around the Bayside suburbs of Melbourne. I took my usual route from Elwood to Brighton and back along the edge of Port Phillip Bay. This time, however, I took a voice recorder. What better way to explain why I run then to do so as it happens? In situ. Right when I’m feeling the feelings that running invokes.
What follows can most simply be described as a stream of consciousness. Consider it a [lightly edited] transcript of my thoughts as I ran.
Running makes things clearer. Empties my mind somehow. I can feel my blood flowing through my body. It’s a beautiful feeling. It’s why I run.
I run because I still can, because one of these days I won’t be able to run anymore. I know that. I’m in my late 40s now. I’ve been carrying around this blood cancer for about four and a half years. I run when it lets me. When I see a small window of opportunity, I take it.
The wind’s at my back now, running between Melbourne’s Elwood Beach and the Brighton Yacht Club. I’m running past the break wall and the water’s spraying up over the edge and catching me in the knees and ankles.
I love the feeling of being outside. Getting up a sweat is more than a detox for me. I can feel my anxieties and fears flowing out along with the toxins we all breathe in everyday.
There’s not too many people around at this time of night … one or two. Sometimes if I catch a runner in front of me I make it a game to try and pass them. Sometimes I’ll find they look about my age or even younger and it gives me a real boost.
I’m past the children’s playground now and the North Point Café, probably about 25 percent in. Still feeling pretty good. It’s slowly starting to get dark. All I can hear are the waves and the wind rushing past me. The lights are beginning to get brighter as the sun [unintelligible 00:02:43], there’s a beautiful smell in the air… fresh.
It opens up now, more like a park. The track, as I run alongside the water, has beautiful [unintelligible 00:03:09] back to the park, with nothing but grass. Some of the most expensive homes in Melbourne are along here. Not for me though, I prefer a simple home.
There’s a couple of runners up in front of me. Neon tops that stand out even more at this time of night. I’m going to do my best to catch up to them, but I won’t hold it against me if I don’t.
Past the dog park now, it’s usually teeming with Golden Retrievers, Labradors, whatever they own now … some sort of cross like a Labradoodle probably. The houses are getting more stately here, coming up towards the Brighton Bay Yacht Club.
…
People’s lights are on, obviously at home. Hopefully they’re enjoying the view. Unless they’ve just become accustomed to it and they’re out the back of the house watching television. That would be a great shame. Still, it’s of no consequence to me. I’m alright out here, in amongst the elements, feeling good.
That’s why I run.
Around the mark at the Yacht Club, I’m heading for home. The wind’s a lot more in my face now, it’s going to slow me down a bit. But I try not to think about that, try not to think about anything much. It’s still easy to find myself dragged away though. Sometimes I get lost in my thoughts, thinking about the past, thinking about the future. And when I catch myself I realise I’ve put a bit of distance under my belt. It’s quite fascinating actually how far you can go with your mind somewhere else. But running’s the easiest place for me to stay in the present, to stay in the now. It’s another reason why I run. It keeps me present. It keeps me in the moment. No future, no past. Just now. Nothing else matters.
And now the rain starts. It might get quite heavy by the time I’m done here. That’s OK by me. Right now it’s actually quite nice.
Some people run in the rain, others just get wet.
The rain’s beginning to ease off now. It’s still not bothering me anyway. Believe it or not I’m actually enjoying it. It’s amazing how your sense of smell improves when everything gets wet. The smells are absolutely wonderful.
I can see the Melbourne city skyline, the beautiful lights through the haze of rain across the water. Westgate Bridge to the left of that. It’s a pretty stunning vista, Melbourne. I often wonder why I give myself so much grief about whether or not I should be staying here. But it’s funny you know, when something happens to your health and things aren’t quite so clear, you start to second guess every decision you make. Probably based on the fact that you don’t know how much time you’ve got left. Where do I want to spend my final days? But when you think about it, no-one knows how much time they have left.
I had some mail today which included a questionnaire regarding my health and it had something about “the beginning of the dying process”. And I thought to myself, isn’t that the second you’re born?
Ah, the thoughts you have when you run. That’s why I do it.
The rain’s started again, this time harder than ever. I’m still enjoying it though. Each splashy step and I feel more free. There’s still a few of us out here, and the gazes as we pass one another are now a little bit deeper. There’s a kindred spirit out here in the rain. We know how good it can be when it’s like this, it’s close to perfect. It’s a metaphor for life really. Nothing comes easily, but everything’s worth it.
My shoes are beginning to fill up with water, but for some reason I’m feeling better and better. My mind feels as free as it can possibly be and I’m looking forward to a hot shower and a warm home – and more precious time with my wife and son.
It’s why I run.
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Read our complete ‘Earth, Water and Sky’ adventure series on The Good Men Project
SKY | EARTH | WATER | TRIATHLONS |