Your Trauma: My Advice (Unsolicited)

I call it accidental friendship. Others call it serendipity. Either way, I offered unsolicited advice to someone I just met and quietly walked away.

It went like this.

……..

He told me his story and I offered:

“You must be grieving the loss of being who you needed to be, your true self and not being allowed to do that, to honor your own identity, your essence, you created your own safety valve.”

I took a breath and a sip of coffee :

“I know your book documents the hell, the nightmares of your journey to and through conversion therapy and I can’t help but think that a great deal of your emotional energy (either now or in the past, or both, even) must’ve been spent on the immense weight of loss and grieving that you’ve had to bear and push beyond. It seems like you’ve made it to the other side: healing.”

Another sip of coffee.

“Your book will heal many of your hurts or, at least, allow you some peace, knowing that you’re calling on individuals to be accountable for the emotional horrors they’ve forced you to carry and experience.”

My audacity continued:

“I’m curious about what you’re doing, in addition to writing your book, to allow yourself a place to flourish and rise ?

Are you walking, hiking, singing, composing new songs, choreographing new dances, writing poetry, seeking advocacy and support through therapy, indulging in a weekly massage ? Please tell me self-care is your daily prayer!”

Pouring a second cup of coffee:

“I hope you’re making space, allowing for the undertow of love and warmth that’s , simultaneously, pushing and pulling you, guiding you toward a , deeper appreciation and tenderness of your truth.

Your book will find its publisher just as it will find its way in the world, speaking its truth, announcing itself in every corner it finds.

I finish my coffee :

“Wishing you peace.”

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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