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Tell a guy he is sensitive, and you’ll most likely be met with either anger or dismissiveness.
Most guys don’t like being told they’re sensitive.
But deep down inside, if he actually thinks he is, he’ll know you’re tapping into an essential truth of his, even if he doesn’t want you to know it.
Being considered sensitive has no benefit in a society that values a stoic, “I am always a rock” type of masculinity. It suggests you’re weak. Other men think you’re a woman. And it always seems like you’re the odd man out because of it.
I know this firsthand. I was your typical male: I thought any emotional expression was for women and would self-medicate via cannabis, as a result, to not feel things and just say that I was okay. But deep down I knew the truth. I felt horrible. And I had a lot of pain, suffering, and feelings that went unacknowledged.
In time, though, I realized this sensitivity was a gift.
It took a female partner of mine, who loved me enough to point out my emotional unavailability, to get me to start looking at my own shit.
I’m glad I did.
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Through a healthy introspective practice, along with building my own emotional intelligence, I’ve gotten to a really good place with what it means to be a sensitive male.
You become attuned to what puts you in a good place, without looking to your partner or other people to provide that for you, and realize your real power. You no longer push things down but can actually sit with your emotions. You start aligning more to your life purpose and actually relish living in the beauty of the here and now.
So if you’re a sensitive guy wondering if you should make the trek toward authentic male emotional expression, consider these benefits:
1. IT MAKES YOU A BETTER LOVER
What man doesn’t want to a better lover? Everyone is looking for the secret formula that’ll get their female partner off a dozen times or their male partner lost in the throes of ecstasy. This is easier to achieve than you think.
I’ve realized the more I come into a state of balance, I can give and sustain the powerful sexual exchange between my partner and I without shame, guilt, or a “when is it going to be my turn” mentality.
Developing emotional balance means that when it’s time to sexually tango, none of your emotional angst will be put onto the space but it will instead be a time where you can truly connect with your lover. To witness ourselves in the most vulnerable of space while having fun and exploring each other’s bodies through total awareness is a beautiful gift! Making it go longer, with the passion needed to sustain it, is a value-added indeed.
2. READING PEOPLE BECOMES A BREEZE
Reading people is an art, and the things that go unsaid and unnoticed by most people actually clue us into the state of the other.
We may not be socially comfortable expressing our emotions but as you do the deep internal work to integrate healthy emotional expression, you see that which isn’t spoken about in others: their anxiety, their nervousness, their joy, or their anger. And these can clue you in on how to mindfully influence people toward an objective or goal.
As a sensitive male, I hope you recognize that you should use this power for good and not for evil. Because, while most people may not be in tuned with their emotional states and you can be, that doesn’t mean you should use that for your own gain. Learn how to read people so that you can put them at ease or to share in their joy.
3. YOUR LIFE IS RICHER BECAUSE OF IT
Most men will first look externally for their source of comfort and nurture.
Be it women, experiences, power, money, etc., which has the potential to lead to a level of superficial happiness that might not penetrate the soul. For sensitive men, whose ability to feel deeply may seem confusing at first, their emotions lead them to lead richer lives because they have access to the full breadth of their humanity.
I now stop and smell the roses. When I’m out in the woods, hiking and climbing mountains, the fresh breeze on my sweaty skin is invaluable. I feel at peace, everything around me supporting me, which leads to a richer life as a result. You start to see the beauty in everything.
4. YOU’LL HAVE BETTER HEALTH
Who doesn’t want better health?
Men have higher rates of suicide, depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction. Unable to express themselves, these men might resort to these things to find an escape to merely cope with life.
But for the sensitive male who can otherwise understand that his emotions clue him into his own state of being, healthy emotional management leads to better health.
By sitting in those negative emotions and turning them into positive thoughts, empowered sensitive men lead fulfilling lives that enhance their overall emotional well-being.
5. YOU REALIZE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU
We men take on a lot. And while anger is a tool to ward off other people’s bullshit, most men are not at a healthy place to be able to use it mindfully. So what do they do instead?
They try to avoid making commitments, relationships don’t take a priority, or they become a lone wolf. But this deprives man of half of his own humanity.
A sensitive guy, on the other hand, uses his emotions as clues. By dropping into this state, he fuses his logic with his emotional self to see if something feels right or not. If it doesn’t, he just respectfully declines.
Bottom Line: Men need a new way of expressing themselves. Sensitive men have the predisposed benefit of having that expression inside of them. It takes courage and awareness to bring this aspect of self out, into the open, and used as a means of navigating the world. If you do it, it’ll lead you to a richer sex life, more influence, better health, and a happier you!
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This post was originally published on TheHerosMovement.com and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
This is something I just posted this morning on another article, and think it has merit here. I’m a sensitive man as well. In the historical past, men, and in particular young men, were absolutely necessary for the continuation of the species. They protected the tribe, fought off invaders, brought meat, defended against predators. The best of them rose through the ranks. Getting more women to sire children. If a warrior was killed, it opened up a spot for another male to increase the likelihood of mating. One tough guy could mate with many women further increasing the tribe. All… Read more »