In light of news stories about Vanessa Williams’ abuse at the hands of a female, and a police officer raping a woman at gunpoint, Zek J. Evets thinks we all need to get involved in redefining rape.
I recently read this article in the New York Daily News released on April 1st. It’s about the trial of former police officer Michael Pena, who was convicted of predatory sexual assault against a woman he had orally and anally molested at gunpoint. However, because there was no vaginal penetration, Pena wasn’t convicted of rape. [Trigger Warning]
Let me repeat, because there was no vaginal penetration there could be no charge of rape.
No, this isn’t an April Fool’s joke. This really happened. The author, David Handschuh put it like this:
“[T]he current penal law sets two standards. To convict someone of first-degree oral or anal sexual assault, prosecutors need only show “contact” between the attacker and the victim. But when the charge is rape, prosecutors must prove that there was “penetration, however slight.” Simple vaginal “contact” is “sexual abuse,” a much lower category of crime.”
He goes on to mention how the jury refused to convict Pena of rape because the prosecution was unable to prove penetration.
“Even though the victim testified that she had been penetrated. Even though two witnesses supported the woman’s account. Even though Pena’s semen was found in her underwear. Even though a doctor testified to injuries consistent with rape.”
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This story reminds me of the struggles male victims of rape go through, especially those who were raped by women. Most people believe that for men, erection equals consent. Most people, especially the kids of Middle America, believe that oral and anal sex don’t really count. Most people are only too willing to discredit victims of sexual crimes, no matter their gender. Under these kinds of cultural stereotypes, I have to ask: what is rape then? Is rape just a strange man in the bushes attacking women who’ve wandered into dark corners? Is that what it takes to be raped these days?
I know men who were enveloped unwillingly; who were raped by mothers, aunts, sisters, girlfriends and wives. Vanessa Williams, of brown M&M fame, has revealed that she was molested by an 18 year-old family friend named Susan when she was 10 years-old. For the record, Susan is a woman, a gender supposedly incapable of rape according to many.
But because there was no penetration in these cases, because they weren’t penetrated, society has stipulated that it wasn’t rape. Really? For real? … For really real? In the words of the late great Kurt Vonnegut, “welcome to the monkey house.” Meanwhile, their abusers get off easy with lighter sentences or, in the case of female offenders, often no sentence at all.
It wasn’t long ago that current Federal law defined rape as: “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will”, and this has been in use since the 1920’s. Under this law, the scenarios I mentioned above are mere sexual assault or harassment. Under this law men could not even be raped — male victims did not exist, legally. It was only recently this year that public pressure forced a change in the law to include forcible anal or oral penetration, the penetration of the vagina or anus with an object or other body part, the rape of a man, or the rape of a woman by another woman into the legal definition the crime. However, this has yet to take effect.
In the meantime, how do we change this reductive and debunked view of rape in our society? How do we—as Masculists or Feminists or just plain people—change the terrible ways in which rape is defined?
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I knew a teenage girl who refused to believe men were capable of being raped by a woman. When I told her the stories about Mary Kay Letourneau, Debra Lafave, and certain Zimbabwean women who even went as far as to steal semen in addition to gang-raping men. She said to me, “that doesn’t count.”
I’ve known grown men who are more likely to believe in UFOs or Bigfoot than some woman who says she was raped. (For the record: UFOs and Bigfoot are real.) They laugh at these women’s stories and slap each others’ backs while calling themselves “good Christian folk”.
Unlike almost any other crime, rape is one in which our private notions of gender, sexuality, and personal responsibility become politicized to the point of oppression. Because of the overwhelming stigmas projected upon rape victims, there are no accurate numbers to describe them. We can only hazard a guess at the sheer amount of Americans who’ve been raped in their lifetime. These uncounted survivors are true subalterns in every sense of the word.
For male victims, it’s like living a double-life, with no resources, no recognition, and no support from the greater whole of American society. Rape-activists regularly discredit men who say they’ve been raped by women, in addition to societal jokes designed to emasculate and shame which results in ultimately silencing these already oppressed men. These factors result in the smallest fraction of male victims coming forward to talk about their experiences, which paradoxically results in greater ignorance supporting the stereotype that men cannot be raped, are not raped, and let’s move on to talking about women shall we? Such actions are ironic among Feminist rape-activists, who passionately protest them in what’s called American “rape culture”.
For the survivor of Pena’s “predatory sexual assault”, society is only just beginning to recognize the further unnecessary suffering she was put through after having already survived rape. For male victims, the road ahead seems far bleaker and uncertain. But you don’t need a dictionary to know this: we need to redefine rape. As Masculists, we have a responsibility to our brothers and our sisters to prevent occurrences like in the offense of Michael Pena from happening to anyone.
So write your congressional representative. Write the President. Write to your local politicians. Write to your local police station. Write to your local newspaper. Write to rape-activist groups in your area. Start petitions. Make flyers. Form a support group. Do whatever you can, because each small pebble placed will eventually build a bridge across this precipice.
Wow! I’m a Nigerian. I’ve spent the last few months on the net researching rape in several countries, especially the united states. I must say that I don’t know how you guys here did it. Or maybe I’m mistaken and you are not all from America. Anyways, the regular results my research has yielded is that when discussions of sexual crimes are in issue, feminists are all to quick to condemn men, bash them and depict a world full of evil men and good women who must ultimately conquer all men. The feminists defend their man hating so much, it… Read more »
Well…to be clear, they law hasn’t changed its definition. Rather, the FBI changed the definition they used to add a rape incident to rape crime stats as follows: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” They also went not nearly far enough. They expanded the definition to ensure gender neutrality among victims but fell just shy of ensuring gender neutrality among perpetrators. The new definition remains essentially reserved for the prosecution of men, meaning… Read more »
Maybe it has something to do with politics. Lot of feminist are scared by the though that they will end losing or cut the foundings for DV and rape centers for women. Witch is sad because doing this, they fall directly into the gender norm and gender binary trap. They work against feminism.
I think honest feminist should speak up against the behaviour showed by the feminist political arm who is not only denying helping people but also betraying feminism.
Speak up people, speak up!
I was unaware until reading this article that all rape victims were junior military officers.
I like the working definitions from The Chrysalis Collective, published on p. 204 of INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence’s recent collection The Revolution Starts at Home: Rape: Nonconsensual sex through physical force, manipulation, stress, or fear; the experience of sex as the unwanted physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual violation of sexual boundaries; not an act of caring, love, or pleasure; sexual violation of trust. Sexual assault: Any unwanted physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual violation of sexual boundaries. Consent: An understandable exchange of affirmative words and actions regarding sexual activity; agreement, approval, or permission that is informed and freely and… Read more »
Consent: An understandable exchange of affirmative words and actions regarding sexual activity; agreement, approval, or permission that is informed and freely and actively given without physical force, manipulation, stress, or fear. I wonder how this scenario would fit into this definition: A woman meets a wealthy man, she decides that she is going to have sex with him to get pregnant, they have sex, after many months of trying she isn’t pregnant. She finds out that lo and behold the man is sterile because he had a vasectomy when he was younger and didn’t tell him. In this case, she… Read more »
No, he’s an asshole, but not a rapist. HIV is important to disclose due to the risk whilst the risk for that guy is actually lower since he’s most likely not going to impregnate her (which is risky).
Really excellent post. Rape generally and rape against men are both dismissed all to easily. The more discussion the better. To give you some ammo for how socialized we are to violence of all kinds against men this video of a South African man talking about rape and how it mixes with murder in prisons is shocking. http://youtu.be/4xn90GqBxbU For me the unspoken threat of prison has always been rape. It’s never been about repentance. I wrote a novel, Secret Skin, a few years ago looking at sex slavery in the Middle East, it looks at how it affects women of… Read more »
Not to beat a dead horse, but there are feminists organizations that support male victims as well. Slutwalk has been a vocal supporter or male sexual assault victims. It was through them that I learned about justdetention.org which supports victims who were abused in prison.
Melissa, Slutwalks? Bleh =/ Slutwalks are not a very good example of “Feminists who care”. I mean, besides the racial slurs on their signage, the entire concept behind Slutwalk evokes class, race, and hetero privilege, to the point of ignoring the sexualization that negatively affects poor women, Women of Color, gay and lesbian communities, as well as transgendered individuals. Peopleofcolororganize.com has a great article on this actually. I can provide links and examples if you wish. That said, I do like JustDetention, as they’re based in the Bay Area where I live. However they aren’t a Feminist organization. They’re independent… Read more »
JustDetention is a wonderful organization. It’s wonderful to see a gender-neutral organization for once; so many seem to tie themselves to some element of the gender divide. RAINN also has started reaching out more to male survivors, though from reading their section for male survivors on their website they implicitly reinforce the male-rapist-only stereotype. http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/male-sexual-assault Another really excellent men-only website is MaleSurvivor. http://www.malesurvivor.org/ They specifically educate and meet the needs of boys and men sexually abused as children, as well as male survivors sexually assaulted/raped as adults. Plus they acknowledge the reality that many times these boys and men were… Read more »
i think some on here have taken the “fingers or objects” part of the law and are trying to give the broadest stroke possible to diminish the impact that this has had on victims that have had to use a less serious term of sexual assault for years. if a female uses a sex toy on a man or another woman, then saying that it isnt rape because it wasnt genitals is just as wrong as saying that because it wasnt the vagina that was penetrated then its not rape. i dont think that a finger in the mouth could… Read more »
@Zek: How would you feel about getting rid of the word altogether? So long as we have a word called “rape” which we consider distinct from (and worse than) sexual assault, then lines are going to have to be drawn which define the difference. You may argue that the line is currently drawn too tightly, leaving out some forms of assault which deserve to be considered rape, but no matter how loosely you define it there’ll always be something “just outside” the line which isn’t really all that less awful than anything covered by the definition. So why not just… Read more »
We are just spinning our wheels pretending that we have any say in what the definitions in the first place.
The groups that recently lobbied the FBI, are radical feminist groups that receive billions in funding, and they have already expanded the definitions to what Zek thinks is required.
Peter, I could be convinced to redefine rape into specific actions, but not to do away with it altogether. Sexual assault is rather ambiguous, and rape itself is incredibly narrowly defined. But besides the legal definition I’m also talking cultural: rape is something that hits us right in that spot where we take action to stop it. Sexual assault bothers us, but rape infuriates us. It’s seen as a crime up there with murder, yet paradoxically almost nobody wants to believe [insert group/individual] could do it — meanwhile we’ll gladly say O.J. did it. I did somewhat like the idea… Read more »
You are basically saying that we need to call things rape because the word rape connotes “really bad” and by NOT calling some things rape, we are disrespecting victims by implying what happened to them isn’t “bad.” That’s not how criminal statutes work. Burglary historically meant breaking into a dwelling house at night with the intent to commit a felony. If you broke broke into a house during the day and stole someone’s TV, it wasn’t burglary, it was breaking & entering & theft. Was that disrespectful toward people who suffered daytime break ins? Robbery meant theft with the use… Read more »
Sarah, Wow, so your comment is all over the place and I’m not sure of your what exactly your point is, but I’ll try to respond as best I can… You are basically saying that we need to call things rape because the word rape connotes “really bad” and by NOT calling some things rape, we are disrespecting victims by implying what happened to them isn’t “bad.” That’s not how criminal statutes work. Okay, so here you’re actually changing what I’ve said to suit your interpretation. If you want to, you may quote me in order to see the difference.… Read more »
Important academic survey called http://www.malesurvey.info is investigating the sexual assault and rape of males in the UK and also public perceptions of this crime. The online survey is open to all UK male residents over the age of 16, takes less than 5 minutes to complete and is 100% anonymous and confidential.
Please support http://www.malesurvey.info and help improve male safety and wellbeing.
You can follow us on twitter – @Malesurvey
Please support http://www.malesurvey.info and help to improve mens safety and wellbeing.
I often wonder as I read stories on this site where some people hang out. Time and Time again, I hear people say how ‘men’ are going these awfull things, like being more likely to believe that a woman wasn’t raped but do believe in UFOs and Bigfoot. Is it hyperbole I wonder to try and make their story sound better. There used to be a poster on here (who isn’t here anymore) who had literally 100s of stories of how bad men were and how he had witnessed it first hand. His story always seemed to fit perfectly into… Read more »
John,
I hate the victim metanarrative too. We men are not carte blanche brutes to be controlled by society. But sadly it’s always the notorious minority that gets the attention, and is used to cast negative stereotypes on everyone else.
I know men who everyday heroes and women who are everyday villains, yet compassion/understanding is clearly accorded along strict gender lines. It’s difficult to swallow these bitter pills, but I grin and bear it because I know that the world is changing everyday, offering new chances for all of us.
Zek
I’m also interested to know where these men are. I know for sure that bad, mentally deficient man stories sell tickets, but I’ve never known someone that doesn’t believe that women can’t be raped, not to mind knowing an abundance of them.
*doesn’t believe women can be …”
Eoghan, I think specifically of the squatter’s community I spent a summer with by the Salton Sea in California. (Ever heard of Slab City?) My original purpose was to interview the residents for a collection of folklore from rural California I was planning as an anthropological project, but I ended up getting more than just that. 90% of the men there, and in nearby Niland, CA., believed that women lie about being rape. There was also a trend in which 70-80% of these men self-identified as either evangelical or baptist. Notably, nobody I interviewed — and I interviewed hundreds of… Read more »
Confirmation bias plays a part, seeing the world negatively as well where you notice just the bad stuff and overlook the good. Some people get key events with key people in their life that can really mold their mind from their experiences, for example during my schooling I was physically abused by a teacher that yelled at the top of his lungs to the point the entire class was crying, this key event gave me a fear of adult grown men yelling well into my 20’s, a decade or more of fear from 1 single event. The bullying I got… Read more »
This was a promising piece of writing – except this paragraph ruined my impression.
“I’ve known grown men who are more likely to believe in UFOs or Bigfoot than some woman who says she was raped. (For the record: UFOs and Bigfoot are real.) They laugh at these women’s stories and slap each others’ backs while calling themselves “good Christian folk”.
Kat,
Why is that? The situation I briefly mentioned is actually true, and unfortunately I know more than a few men who are like that.
Marcus, You’ve got a long comment, so I’ll just focus on the part I find most important. I think the legal definition of “rape” should involve penetration, but it’s not even as simple as saying any forced penetration of any orifice with any object, or at least, I don’t think it should be. The definition need not be restricted to the person who is penetrated, so it would also cover “envelopment” rape. However, I don’t think that mouth, anus, and vagina are interchangeable (or in the case of envelopment, hand), and the nature of the object doing the penetrating (or… Read more »
I think you may be mixing up the word “rape” with the idea that victims who don’t meet the strict legal definition of rape are denied justice. There are dozens of sex crimes on the books, some of which may have very severe sentences (like forcible lewd acts on a child). This whole highly charged debate about what “rape” should mean could be avoided by just calling all of it sexual assault/battery with different degrees of severity, defined accordingly. That doesn’t mean lighter sentences because sentences can be as harsh as we want. I think in the New York case,… Read more »
I agree with Sarah. You seem to be saying that unless it’s called “rape”, there’s no accounting for the wide range of sexual assault that may occur, and therefore no justice that can be served. I disagree with that premise. I googled Vanessa Williams’ account of abuse to try to find a more extensive excerpt from her book, because the link provided in the original article didn’t have much. I didn’t find any that made it sound like rape, and it seems like if she had, that would feature pretty prominently in the summaries and quoted excerpts. Instead, what was… Read more »
I remember once seeing a comment on an old noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz article (from back when it was a separate blog) in which the commenter suggested a similar thing (using classes of sexual assault to indicate the seriousness of a sexual crime, rather than a distinction between rape and sexual sexual assault). I thought it was a really good idea at the time. If I remember rightly, contact with mucous membranes which leads to risk of pregnancy or disease were factored into the seriousness, which also seems like a good idea. As I understand it the term ‘rape’, unlike ‘sexual assault’, can… Read more »
I think the legal definition of “rape” should involve penetration, but it’s not even as simple as saying any forced penetration of any orifice with any object, or at least, I don’t think it should be. The definition need not be restricted to the person who is penetrated, so it would also cover “envelopment” rape. However, I don’t think that mouth, anus, and vagina are interchangeable (or in the case of envelopment, hand), and the nature of the object doing the penetrating (or being forced to penetrate) seems to me to make a big difference. For example, if a victim… Read more »
There is also have the option of putting new crimes on the book or enhancing sentences for existing crimes, such as sexual battery. Redefining “rape” (which has a very specific legal meaning going back centuries) is not really necessary; it’s possible to do away with the term “rape” completely and just have degrees of sexual assault/battery. I think what victims care about is that the offender be prosecuted, convicted and sentenced appropriately.
Sarah,
It’s not about the semantics, but about the seriousness. I’m sure rape has a very specific legal definition going back centuries, but clearly that definition fails. It fails men, it fails women, it fails children. It fails countless victims and I believe firmly that we need to redefine it to include the victimization these survivors have suffered. Whether we’re talking about Vanessa Williams or the victims of Jerry Sandusky, these crimes need to be included in the definition of rape, because the ARE serious and they ARE rape and they NEED TO BE dealt with accordingly.
It is about semantics, because you’re talking about what it means to be raped. “Semantics” is not a synonym for “pointlness nitpicking” – it’s about meaning. You appear to be suggesting that “rape” should *not* take seriousness into account, because you think it means everything from some unwanted over-the-clothes fondling to penetration of a bodily orifice by a penis, as if those two things are equal in seriousness and cause equal trauma. They aren’t and they don’t.
I disagree. I’m talking about including acts such as what happened to Vanessa Williams, Pena’s victim, as well as forced sex that doesn’t include P in V penetration. Not over-the-clothes-fondling. And it’s about more than just legal definitions; it’s about our cultural definitions too.
On the issue of most feminists seeming not to care about male victims of rape, Holly Pervocracy has a really decent analysis of why this unfortunate reality persists: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2011/05/male-victims.html I do, though, take issue with the “not our department” attitude of many feminists in discussing male victims of rape and other forms of sexual assault and abuse. :\ @john hall: You raise a good quandary here. Unfortunately this attitude persists toward all criminals, and is, I think though cannot prove, a result of the retributive system of justice in most countries, and especially USA. What really needs to happen at… Read more »
I should amend this to say that I don’t quite agree with Ms Pervocracy’s assessments that male victims are rare, and that there is more violence, specifically sexual and in general, against women than men. For me, “more vs less” rhetoric only encourages us-vs-them-ism instead of the we-ism that humans so badly need to cultivate with each other. :\
I struggle with the ideas presented here. On the one hand, I do not wish for anyone, regardless of their characteristics, to feel like they are marginalized because of who they are. But on the other hand: we are talking about expanding the definition of a crime for which society has decided there is no acceptable penance. Once you are convicted of a sex crime, that’s it, you’re labeled a sex offender for life. You are kept in a public database, also for life. You have restrictions put on where you can live, and who you can associate with, for… Read more »
Mike, It’s not about expanding the definition but about redefining it. It’s about recognizing that other actions are not also, but always have been, rape. Certainly thinking of this as expanding the definition is one way of looking at it, but I disagree that it would be a bad thing. Victims of rape admittedly need protecting just as much as rapists require rehabilitation — and, in fact, I think many would argue they’re more in need than rapists. This is especially true for male victims, who are already incredibly stigmatized, shamed, blamed, and otherwise punished by society in addition to… Read more »
But, they have committed sex offences … Therefore by definition, they are sex offenders.
Mike, Well let’s take the example of Michael Pena and the woman he attacked. Because there was no vaginal penetration it’s not classified as rape, but clearly the evidence shows this man did just that. Or what about Vanessa Williams who was “molested” by a female family-friend, again no penetration? What about men who are forcibly enveloped by women, or have had other sexual acts forced onto them? Our notions of rape, both cultural and legal, leaves these situations out of the equation. Jerry Sandusky might get charged with child abuse/molestation and be labeled a sex offender, but that won’t… Read more »
Welp…I knew there would be two “Mikes” commenting on here sooner or later, so I’m going to go by “Mike L” from now on (I’m the Mike who made the initial comment here). This goes to why we punish people. The reasons for punishing sex offenders are essentially the story of emotions overriding rational thought. We have decided that the definition of sex offense should be expansive (it includes consensual sex between teenagers in some jurisdictions), and that the punishment should be life-long (the database and all that). Yet sex offenses have some of the lowest recidivism rates we can… Read more »
Hi Zek,
We crossed words on a previous thread, but just dropped by to say this is a very good article.
Thanks dude.
I totally agree with this article, its one of the problems i have with equal rights, rape doesn’t seem to consider men as a victim ever. Surely if a woman gives him a viagra pill and forces him to have sex its rape? if a guy told the police of this he would be laughed at of the station its the same as stalking laws, if a man stalks his exs house the police would be there in minutes but if a woman stalked her ex husband they wouldn’t take it seriously. Since men have all agreed we can’t hit… Read more »
Hi! Great article. Totally agree with 99% of it: the lack of a social script accepting that females can rape other females and males is so horrible, because it leaves the victims of female rapists suffering in shame, silence, and erasure. My only complaint was this: “These factors result in the smallest fraction of male victims coming forward to talk about their experiences, which paradoxically results in greater ignorance supporting the stereotype that men cannot be raped, are not raped, and let’s move on to talking about women shall we? Such actions are ironic among Feminist rape-activists, who passionately protest… Read more »
Coffee_queen, Whew! Your comments are always so long and deep that I rarely get the opportunity to adequately respond. But let me try… Please do not assume that all Feminist rape-activists are not interested in hearing and helping male victims of rape. I am an egalitarian-feminist rape activist in-the-works (haven’t yet found an organization to attach myself to as yet) and I care very deeply about male victims. Don’t worry I don’t! =) I have a general perception that has been supported by my experience and those of many other men, but I am not so hypocritical to assume that… Read more »
Zek, I was pretty sure you didn’t intend to cast a blanket don’t-care-about-male-rape-victims dismissal on feminists, but just wanted to point out that we do exist, just in case. We’re like shiny Pokemon: rare, but out there! (nerd moment haha) “That said, I admit to my own suspicion when I hear Feminists talking about rape, because my experience has often led to disappointment as male victims are denigrated or demeaned. It’s hard to let go of a prejudice which has been learned this way as opposed to one formed through ignorance or bigotry.” And how! :\ The few times I’ve… Read more »
“I am an egalitarian-feminist rape activist in-the-works (haven’t yet found an organization to attach myself to as yet) and I care very deeply about male victims. Maybe I’m just an odd one out, but I’m sure there are other self-identified feminists who also care. Implying that all Feminists care only about women is unfair, in my mind. ” It is unfair and inaccurate. And let’s remember something really crucial – without feminists’ insistence on the formulation that rape is sex without consent, we wouldn’t even be talking about male rape victims. Not even talking about them. we wouldn’t even be… Read more »
Thanks for caring, but there’s alot wrong with that. He’s not implying that all feminists feel that way, he’s saying that alot do. It’s really important to call them out. I don’t think it’s reasonable to say to a masculist that he should be thankful to feminism for his (philosophical) existence. Men’s rights issues are their own reality and men and women would have found a way to talk about them with or without feminism. On top of that the sex without consent model has been pretty troublesome at times, for instance: “yes means yes” as a measure of guilt… Read more »
I think the article uses “for the record” a little too confidently. When it compares women rapists with UFO’s and Bigfoot, the use of the phrase does not help the argument, in my opinion. Yes, UFO’s do literally exist, because there are literally unidentified flying objects in the sky. In fact, the less I know about weather and aviation, the more likely these things will be unidentified to me. The more ignorant the observer, the more likely the observer will see a UFO. That is the simple logic of the “unidentified” part. Whether these sights are all unidentified AND flying… Read more »
Wellokaythen,
I’m confused. Is your comment about UFOs and Bigfoot, or redefining rape? I’m sorry but I’m not sure I follow the semantical progression. Moreover, I’m not comparing women rapists to UFOs OR Bigfoot. I was comparing the belief in UFOs and Bigfoot to believing victims of rape. (I wasn’t even talking about female rapists in that paragraph, haha!)
That said, my ‘”for the record” regarding UFOs and Bigfoot was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, since you didn’t seem to notice ; )
But enough of that, what do you think about the topic?
trying this again.
That’s by design Zek, the definitions were designed by 2wave radical feminist groups.
Eoghan,
Thanks for that info. It seems consistent with the NY law, however it still leaves out quite a lot I see. No mention of envelopment, or a reverse of “oral penetration by a sex organ of another person,” because women do give oral without consent. In fact, penetration of any kind still leaves out quite a lot because sex includes way more than just penetration.
Zek, these are the new definitions since just after Christmas.
“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
I have to say, I do welcome the actions of Ms Vanessa Williams in telling her story. In dealing with sexual abuse/rape survivors there has been a long standing issue, for many women who were sexually abused and raped by other women, of there being No One who spoke out on the subject – No One who was a Public Figure Survivor. That has now changed. Ms Williams has finally filled that gap in the lives of many women. I have great respect for her courage and wish her well. I have been contacted by quite a few women who… Read more »
Mediahound,
Thanks for your comment! Your points are well put.
I do hope the definition gets a well deserved update, penetration and envelopment at least need to be included.
“.. activists regularly discredit men ..” I do not think the word “regularly” is true any more. It was true 10 years ago, but not any more. I would use the word “sometimes”. Which is still bad. “… write your congressional representative ..” Asking for what? I am on your side here, but your message is not clear. At least, I can’t figure it out. The last thing you EVER want to do is tell a politician “do something about this!” Tell them exactly WHAT to do about it, or we might get another VAWA. Here is the most important… Read more »
Anthony, I do not think the word “regularly” is true any more. It was true 10 years ago, but not any more. In my experience regularly is actually true. Especially in the Bay Area, unfortunately. The victim meta-narrative is strong here. Asking for what? I am on your side here, but your message is not clear. At least, I can’t figure it out. Haha, that’s kinda the idea, in a sense. I don’t want to presume to tell people what they should say to their own elected representatives. The point is to be active in communicating with them so they… Read more »
“In my experience regularly is actually true. Especially in the Bay Area, unfortunately.” Much as I love San Francisco and the rest of the Bay Area, I gotta admit it’s a bit nuts in a lot of ways. I’m not saying this is one of them, because I’m not familiar enough with this aspect of the culture in the Bay Area. What I am saying is that, with pretty much everything, you kind of can’t take your experiences in that area and superimpose them onto the rest of the country. That’s true for everywhere, really…but I’d say it’s particularly true… Read more »
Heather,
Haha, indeed it is! I’m fine with that, because I still love it, but I’m hyper aware (having previously moved from the ultra-conservative Orange County in SoCal) of the ways in which the BA has its own brands of prejudice and ignorance.
However your point is well-taken. I do often superimpose my experiences, which I’m always working on by trying incorporate the lived experiences of others (P.S. I love using that phrase, “lived experience”) into my knowledge base.
Holy crap…from Orange County to the Bay Area. Woah. Talk about a huge change! It’s like I moved from a small town in the Central Coast (of California) to NYC. Took a bit of adjustment too, lol.