Have you ever just looked around and wondered what would happen if you were to just scream? Or found yourself doing all you can to keep the dam from breaking and then snapping, screaming, yelling, or even running away. My guess is you have, or at least experienced something similar. This is what it feels like to get dangerously close your breaking point.
We’ve all been there. Things build up over time and at some point, there’s no more room in the well. I know one woman who would experience an overwhelming desire to hide under her desk when things got to this point. A guy I’ve treated would escape to a dive bar and get drunk in the middle of the day.
Since screaming, running away, or hiding under your desk aren’t appropriate or productive responses to, well, anything really, knowing how to keep yourself from reaching that point is pretty important. It’s not always easy though. In fact, many of us miss the signs that we’re headed toward the edge altogether. Then suddenly we find ourselves there, teetering.
So, what are the best ways to keep yourself from reaching your breaking point? While it’s different for everyone, the tips below can help you create your own personal roadmap so that you avoid getting to that edge.
• You have power – use it. One of the reasons people reach their breaking point is because they fail to exercise control over themselves and decisions that involve them. Feeling powerless and out of control can create internal anxiety, stress, and even depression. Most people have more power over their circumstances than they recognize, yet they don’t use it for fear of upsetting those around them. Taking on more than is reasonable, letting other people’s problems become yours, and not knowing when and how to say no can lead to big problems. So, recognize that you are in charge of you and make decisions that are best for you and your sanity.
• Keep your head on a swivel. When you are headed to your breaking point there are signs. Like I said above, most people go barreling forward and never see the warning signs that there’s danger ahead. But they’re there. You may be feeling anxious without being able to say why, not sleeping well, irritable, or just downright uncomfortable, like wearing clothes that don’t fit. These are all signs that things are building up in an unhealthy way. There will also be external signs. Without a doubt there are certain circumstances that are more difficult to handle than others. If you can recognize that you suddenly are wrestling with a heavy load of really challenging, painful, or stressful things, then don’t allow yourself to get drawn into anything more if possible.
• Your body knows more than your head – listen to it. You body responds to stress even if your head is trying to tell you everything is just fine. I worked with a woman once who’s MD had diagnosed her with panic attacks. Her heart would race, she’d sweat, and experience tunnel vision. She travelled for work, had a busy homelife, was planning her wedding, and had many other of life’s worries. She truly thought she was handling things well and didn’t see any connection between these symptoms and her lifestyle. When her doctor told her she was in good health and experiencing panic attacks her response was, “But I’m not panicked.” Her doctor explained that the body’s reaction to stress and fatigue can be different than that of the brain. Anxiety and stress can have very real physical ramifications. Of course, any concerning physical changes need to be investigated by your physician to ensure there’s nothing more serious going on, but if you are otherwise healthy you’ll need to give some serious consideration to what your body is telling you about your mental state.
• Pay attention to nutrition, sleep, and physical activity. One way to make nearly everything better on some level is to ensure you are eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Unfortunately, when we’re stressed these are often the first things to go. Many don’t realize the value that this basic framework of self-care holds. Without it the edge of that cliff can be far closer than it should be.
• Use your support system. Even with all the right efforts it’s still possible for things to become overwhelming. If (when) this happens, those people in your life that you love and trust may be able to help you to put things in perspective and become more grounded and less stressed.
If despite your best efforts you find yourself wanting to scream, hide under that desk, or run to a bar, don’t despair – you’re not alone. We have all been there at one time or another. Take a deep breath and recognize that finding your way back to a better spot will require a calm mind and logical thinking. Give yourself permission to take a break and clear your mind. Then, after you have settled yourself, you’ll be in a better position to make a better for moving forward.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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