Each of us witnesses ups and downs in our relationships, whether friendships, commitments, or maybe a parent-child relationship. These storms in any relationship can work both ways, that is change a relationship for the better or make things worse. Having said this, there comes a time when we start questioning whether we should put in more effort or give up.
This seems to be a tough choice for most of us and often leads us to make wrong decisions which we regret later. Apart from the big red flags that are a big no in each relation, there exists problems that are not necessarily red flag-bearers. When these types of issues appear very difficult to solve, we often end up confused about what to do next.
This process of figuring it out could be made easier with a few simple tips. Let’s start with the most obvious one: Give each other a lot of space for some time.
1. Space it Out
If you have talked about issues through and through and have not found a solution, give silence a try. Try to distant yourselves from each other for some time and see if it feels more peaceful or painful. Figure out if you feel happier with them not being around. Spacing should not be confused with physical distancing such as moving out.
It should be more of spending time with yourself, tracing your life, doing things you love, and not having boundaries such as sharing or informing your friend/partner about everything new happening in your life. Sometimes we get so much involved in the world that we forget that we owe something to ourselves too. And that’s exactly when things start falling apart.
Don’t underestimate the power of ‘me-time’ and self-love.
2. Self-analyze
Self-analysis is very important in every decision you make. For some time, keep aside all the hustle and stress of life and think about your relation. Think about it over and over keeping what your heart wants first. No one can provide a better solution to your problem than you yourself. So take an ample amount of time and a good cup of coffee to crack how you wish to proceed.
Each person has his own way of dealing with things, and therefore keep in mind that you do not let way to others’ opinions in your decisions. So keep the process less crowded by keeping your thoughts and solutions to yourself. Over-sharing can make your decision more of a mixture of unnecessary advice and the chances of it being wrong increase.
3. Making the decision
Here comes the toughest part. Putting together whatever you have experienced in the above two steps, then make your decision. If the above steps forced your inclination towards letting it go, you have your decision. Letting go is always hard, but if the relation has turned toxic for you, giving up on it is going to be worth it. In case any of you have forgotten it, let me remind you that your happiness should be your topmost priority.
On the other hand, if you feel that there are things present in your relationship that can be worked on, do it. Start with one problem, find ways to eliminate it with combined effort, and move to the next. If it’s worth your efforts, things will soon fall in place.
Takeaway
Communication is considered the key to every relationship. Always try to talk about the issue first, and find out a possible solution. In case talking about it is not working, and you feel it’s getting too difficult, then only go for the above steps. Remember, not every argument needs to end with a full stop. You can give each other the time to think about what happened, figuring one’s mistakes, and try again.
In the end, I would just like to say that if you decide to let things go, gift yourself some strength, too. Change is always a tough choice and it is never an easy process. Bid each other goodbye and remember to not be sad because you once expected it to lead you somewhere else. Life is a mystery, you never know what’s waiting for you next.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
