Forgiveness Made Me a Better Man

As men, it is hard for us to express ourselves, to forgive, and to let go when someone has hurt us.

This year, I had the opportunity to return to my homeland: Medellin, Colombia.

Not only was I returning to my homeland, but I was also reuniting with my biological father. A man I had not seen in 11 years nor had I completely forgiven him for abandoning me as a child.

When I returned, I found an opportunity to forgive fully and let go of the past.

Until then, I had not noticed how holding that anger and resentment had been like a venom pulsing through my veins.

It was my time spent getting to know my father and finding redemption that helped me become a more complete man.

The two months that we shared together resulted in huge amounts of tension leaving my body. For once, I can now say the emotional toxicity is no longer coursing through me.

I have never studied the science of forgiveness, but I have worked with over 300 married couples and seen how forgiveness makes men better.

For nearly two years, I spent day and night working with couples.

Each time, I saw someone let go and forgive; I saw their body change. Years of anger melted away. Years of sadness evaporated.

Learning to forgive is definitely a process and not an easy one.

This process takes courage and love.

As Gandhi once said:

Love is not for cowards.

If you want to learn to be a better man by forgiving, you must be brave and strong.

Ready to Practice Forgiveness? Consider These Mindset Hacks

Everything happens for a reason—and it is all happening to help you. In the fantastic book, Radical Forgiveness, author Colin Tippings says, “Nothing happens to you. It all happens for you.” This simple change in perspective will do wonders for you. In my own journey with my father, learning to see how things happened for me shifted everything. I really got in touch with how being adopted helped me come to the USA, have a whole family, and escape the turmoil of Medellin, Colombia in the 1980s and 90s.

Everyone is trying their best. When I reflect on where my dad was at the time and the confusion that he must have been going through, I realize that he was trying his best. He made a decision that he thought was the best. And despite my own opinions, when I consider that he was doing his best, it is much easier to understand him and forgive him.

No one can hurt unless you let them. I know this may be a little extreme, but it is one that helped me immensely with reconciling my past. Once I saw clearly that the past did not have to hurt me anymore, and everything was happening for me? I became free from the past.

After working on myself and hundreds of individuals, I am certain that if you let go of that pain you will also find freedom.

Once I let go of the pain, I started to notice a lot of energy was available. I noticed my relationships got better, and I expanded as a whole. If you go through this process, I am certain you will experience more abundance and love in your own life too.

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This post is republished on Medium.

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