- Always look both ways before getting off a streetcar. Because the doors open into traffic!!! Why?!?
- Breaking your collar bone hurts a shitload. I don’t know how hockey players do it.
- Insurance companies kind of suck the big one.
- Even when I was delirious, being interviewed by police and my parents, I was still, apparently, pretty funny. I still got it….
- There is no experience that can cement how truly arbitrary life is than a moment where you could be dead, but you are not. And you can’t think of any good reason why.
- Being a minimum-wage teenage security guard with a sling is about the least intimidating thing in the universe.
- Those long rubber hose thingies at physiotherapists offices? Actually pretty useful.
- There is something important and meaningful about being alive. Even during your shittiest, saddest, darkest times, remember that the act of living is still valuable.
- Life can change 180 degrees in an INSTANT.
- Nothing gets a parent more angry or terrified than when their child is put in danger. I always knew that to be true intuitively, but it’s different to see it.
Josh Hockey players (at least the best ones) get paid millions of dollars. Getting hit for free is totally different.
When I got hit by a car, my Dad yelled at me because the car got hit.
In my experience, it hurts the car a hell of a lot less than it hurts you.