This comment was in response to 20 Things I Love About Men. The comment was from DavidBryon to Jean Valjean. We welcome additional comments here, especially if they are about the bigger themes of male or female objectification, or examples of why this type of list is helpful or not.
This article is kind of bittersweet for a lot of guys I think. On the one hand there’s this sincere and glowing appreciation of men by the author and some others in comments. On the other hand, we feel as if some of the things we’re being appreciated for are the kind of things were trying not to do because they are this stereotypical masculine way of doing things. So it’s like a beautiful rose but for some, it also has its thorns.
It’s a very positive article and I hate to see negative responses, and at the same time some of the negative responses are so important to hear, too. Is it possible to somehow split this thread into two pieces so we can get the best of both worlds? I wouldn’t want to offend anyone or censor anything here, and I don’t know if it would work very well, but I just wondered if it might.
One thing not discussed here is how this relates to women receiving compliments from men and how that can be a rose with a thorn too. Alice comments above that if it was men talking about what they love in women it would be “breasts, ass and legs”. She is able to identify that as “objectification”. That sort of complaint by women is something men often don’t understand because to a man being “objectified” would be terrific. Except here we have an example where some men at least are feeling “objectified” by this list. Not as a list of gorgeous body parts, but as a list of masculine protector role traits.
For those who haven’t read the post, here is an excerpt. Read the entire post here.
…I set out to create a list of things that I love about men. Pure and simple. No talk of feminism or slut shaming or gender depictions in the media or rape culture here—just an unadulterated tribute to men, a panegyric, a compilation of reasons to be thankful for the male species, in ways both big and small, superficial and profound, personal and professional.
- I love being Little Spoon.
- I love the way a man looks into his child’s eyes and loses himself.
- I love that men’s various discoveries throughout the ages (scientific, mathematical, medical, etc.) have made our lives easier.
- I love the way a man runs into the ocean like maniac.
- I love the shape of a man’s big, strong back when he leans over to pick up something heavy.
- I love when a man knows what to say and what not to say to make a woman happy.
- I love when a man tells a woman how lucky he is to have found her.
- I love the way a man takes a woman’s delicate hand, brings it to his lips, and kisses it gently, showing how much he adores her.