This is a comment by Adsum Ozar on the Comment of the Day: “Men like strip clubs because they aren’t being told how to behave, or being shamed for their sexuality.”
“KKZ, I think you did a great job with this article, and I also agree with Vanessa when she says that the stigma that women who are strippers carry is more severe than that of men frequenting these joints. I used to frequent a strip joint back when I was single because it was nice to get a drink after a hard night’s work, see beautiful girls perform, and maybe—just maybe—carry on a conversation with one of them without worrying about all the complex restrictions and requirements society imposes on both sexes before considering the other. Now, I’m not under any illusions about the sincerity of most of the conversations had by any patrons with employees in such a social setting, but I did make some cool connections with some people there both employees and regulars.
“Vanessa is correct to say that a lot of the men hanging out at these places are just d-bags, but I think those same men usually out themselves early and are watched closely thereafter. What I know for certain is that I met a girl—also named Vanessa by the way—working there, that was very powerful in my view. She seemed to enjoy what she was doing, and the attention she got. She was in control, but was also open to conversation from just about anyone with good common sense about the dynamics of the situation.
“She was lovely to me—as she was to a lot of folks—and her performance became second to her conversation. Again, I was not, or am under any illusions concerning meaningful interactions in such setting, but after dealing with complex personalities and stiffing societal postures all night at work, well … it was all so refreshing to me. This is indeed a very complex subject, and I’ve had one or two discussions with my wife regarding the objectification side of the story, but as we already know it is multifaceted in nature. She focuses on the d-bags, and their objectification of the women working there. I like to focus on the memory of Vanessa’s beauty, graceful vulnerability, and seemingly absolute power. Yes, it was probably just Vanessa being perceived by me this way, but I wish it to be otherwise. She was a goddess on stage, an angel off of it, and will always remain a beautiful human being to me.
“Regarding the whole feminist thing—and I mean no disrespect—I tend not to focus so much on labels but the humanity of the principles. I am pro-women (can I say that?), pro-children, pro-humanity, and my wish for equality is greater than my desire to lead in any way other than to accomplish the truest equality of it all. ”
Photo credit: Flickr / the_toe_stubber