Why I Let My Son Get Snipped

Cole Gamble, who has both a foreskin and a happy sex life, never thought his wife would demand that their son get circumcised.

I am an uncircumcised man.

This has never bothered my wife, Nicole. Or so I thought. “It’s like your penis is wearing a turtleneck,” she’d sometimes say, benignly.

As such, there was never any doubt in my mind that, should my wife and I ever produce a miniature me, he would also go uncircumcised. We would leave his little thing alone. No snip-snip, just like Daddy.

Until, that is, the late-September day when we brought our newborn son home from the hospital. It was chilly, and the tightly wrapped baked potato of a boy felt warm in the crook of my arm.

“We’re getting Dalton circumcised,” my wife said as she fastened the potato into his car seat.

“What?” I said. “Since when does he need that?”

“Ever since uncircumcised penises are weird.”

She paused before adding, a little backpedally, “Except yours, of course. Yours is OK.”

This is how I learned my wife’s true feelings about the type of penis I have—by comparing it to our infant son’s. She thinks—has always thought—“OK.” I knew what “OK” meant, of course. “OK” meant weird, just like she’d said.

She’s not the first person to feel iffy about foreskin. Just look to the message boards, where uncut penises are routinely denounced as “gross.” “I honestly saw one and almost passed out,” reads one poster’s typical response. On Seinfeld, Elaine once bemoaned the uncircumcised penis’ lack of “personality.” I’m well aware of this uniquely American repulsion. But my wife? I’d just assumed she was a freak for the foreskin. Turns out I’m the freak, and she’d just learned to live with it.

♦◊♦

Confronted with this bombshell, I began to obsessively review the entire history of our relationship with half the self-esteem and twice the paranoia. Our wooing period, our first sexual encounter, our wedding day—behind those smiling, devoted eyes, she was picturing my uncircumcised penis and thinking, My God, that thing’s strange. Am I really going to spend the rest of my life with this bizarre dick? Suddenly my genitalia—to my mind, a cornerstone of our relationship—was not a resplendent totem to celebrate, but a deformity to grin and bear.

All my anti-circumcision arguments—the barbarity of the procedure, the theory that it lessens sexual sensitivity—withered in the face of one multiply confirmed assertion: foreskin is weird.

“There were plenty of girls before you who voiced no complaints,” I cried, a bit desperately.

“Not to your face,” my wife responded. Touché! “Besides, people are going to make fun of Dalton. Boys in the locker room will tease him.”

Nicole’s dad backed up this theory.

“Oh yeah, we’d give a guy like that hell,” Rick told us at dinner a few nights later. I always treasure opportunities to discuss my penis with my father-in-law. Rick’s assertion didn’t jibe with my own experience. I never had a guy in the locker room say to me, “Dude, I’ve been staring at you for a while and just wanted you to know: you disgust me.”

But were they thinking it, and thanking God that their own parents had the good sense to slice and dice theirs at birth? And do the guys at my current gym steer around me in wide arcs, fearing my elongated foreskin is contagious? And what about the girlfriends? Did all the girls who permitted me to get past second base titter together later, sharing horror stories about the first time they saw that thing in the moveable sheath?

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About Cole Gamble

Cole Gamble's writings on the crimes of Willy Wonka, man-eating beds, and tales from his cringe-worthy life appear at Cracked, Babble, The Daily Beast, The New Yorker, Funny Crave, Mental Floss, The Huffington Post and Salon. Find him at his site, Fun with Cole and on Facebook.

Comments

  1. K Williams says:

    Uhh!!!! This article is horrible!!! So I can basically sum it up by saying that an adult is going to make a cosmetic amputation for an infant that can’t consent to any such procedures because one of the parents thinks foreskins are ugly???!!! I can’t go on about all the reasons that this is wrong! I am a woman and I love my intact boyfriend. I would never want him to amputate part of himself. If that poor boy was left intact, he would find a woman who loved him exactly the way he is. His body – his choice!

  2. Wow, just wow! Talk about a p wipped milk toast! A real man would of told her to go get her breasts enlarged, clit hood removed butt reduced and then ‘we’ll talk about it’.

    If they’re on the west coast I can’t wait to see the look on the bitch’s face when her son asks her why he’s cut unlike the vast majority of the other boys who kept their anatomy.

  3. SandraHippink says:

    I’m sorry your wife bullied you into making this irreversible decision for your son. Sure, there’s foreskin restoration, but that is meant for men who already lost their foreskin long ago due to misinformation at the time of their birth, their only hope to get back some feeling and function that was robbed from them at birth. It will never bring back the nerves and fine touch receptors and all the pleasure that foreskin naturally and normally allow a penis to have. It is not meant as an “oh well, if he doesn’t like it, he can always restore.”
    You don’t cut body parts off children, then tell them if they’re not happy with that, they can always spend 2-4 years of disciplined, unwavering determination to work every day towards gaining some of what was robbed from them in seconds at birth. You LEAVE their body parts alone, and let them decide for their own body when they are adults.

    You know how great it is to have a foreskin. You know you went through life without ridicule. Why didn’t you stand up to her? I sure as hell hope that if you have another son, you will leave his penis alone, stand up this time! PROTECT HIM! American women are more used to the mutilated penis, yes. But since the next generation has far fewer boys cut, women will be used to intact and circumcised males. Women won’t body shame men with normal penises because they will be better informed. I’m sorry your wife is not one of these enlightened women. If she ever tries to convince you to get circumcised, tell her you will right after she gets her own self circumcised. And yes, that would absolutely be FAIR.

  4. As a woman who strongly prefers intact men and doesn’t like to date circumcised men I find this whole article disgusting on so many levels. I hope he grows up to never speak to either one of his parents especially the mom who the dad needs to divorce like yesterday

  5. good people do not cut off healthy parts of their children’s genitals.
    Only horribly misinformed or incredibly evil people do that.

  6. This story isn’t so much about circumcision as about the way the wife treats the husband and the way the husband puts up with it. Not funny.

  7. Christian P says:

    I apologize for the rudeness and vitriol in my previous comment. Obviously this is a subject that stirs up some very powerful Pagan, pre-Christian impulses and emotions in me, and I wish I had been able to approach it with more love and sympathy. I do implore you to acknowledge and remember that you are a human being too, as much as your wife is, with your own legitimate interests, and you have the right and indeed the duty to stand up for those interests. The strength is within you — you have only to exercise it.

  8. Wow – such a group of foreskin fetishists out in cyberspace. You write very well. An intact friend’s Wife confided in my Wife – we are Jewish and so my status in this regard is well known – that she honestly would have preferred her husband to have been circumcised – she puts up with it – unwillingly as part of the greater good. His perspective won out where their son was concerned. Women’s preferences for or against foreskins often drive the decision and they are as consumers quite well qualified to express these preferences. Peace in the home is a good policy.

    • It’s pretty sad that your reply is one that attacks the character of anti-circumcision folks (foreskin fetishists), just debate like a rational person. If you argument that since people, in this case men are consumers, gives any preference merit, does it justify foot binding that used to occur in china, or female genital mutilation in africa? Examples of that are Clitoral removal, labia majora removal, the stitching of the vagina years before a females virginity is taken away from her by her husband. You would argue no, because women are not objects, or products as you say and a multitude of other reasons.. They are individuals. Circumcision is a silly procedure along with those above and your too brainwashed to make a fair argument for it.

  9. It is literally, a “small matter”.

    No, it is a symptom of a larger issue. You are married to the wrong woman, Cole.
    As an intact man, you should know better.

  10. It’s really sad that you didn’t realize how integral to your sex life your foreskin was before you cut it off your son. Did you have his frenulum removed as well? That’s so cruel it should be illegal! Your wife is less than human.

  11. Very energetic blog, I loved that a lot. Will there be a part 2?

  12. I would have told the wife that I thought female clitoral hoods were weird and that she needed hers removed. And eye for and eye.

  13. Tom Gualtieri says:

    This story disgusts me. It’s not a small matter. You have permanently altered your son’s sex organ. He can NEVER get it back. NEVER.

    Foreskin restoration, which takes years to accomplish, cannot restore the nerves and blood vessels as well as the delicate structure of that small “flap of skin.”

    You have done your son wrong. You ought to be ashamed.

  14. It’s sad that Mr. Gamble chose to subject his son to circumcision, only to appease his shallow, dishonest and conniving wife (and her equally shallow The Bachelor reject cronies). Especially when there was no reason to think his son would grow up to be as poor a judge of character…or have as wretched taste in women…or be as pathetically spineless. Despite his pedigree, his son just might have had some integrity.

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  16. Cole succumbed to two common myths regarding routine infant circumcision: women’s preference and peer pressure. Women’s preference has actually been studied in Denmark. The conclusion is that women actually prefer intact men as the gliding action of the foreskin is much more comfortable. Esteem in the locker room has everything to do with performance on the field and nothing to do with the foreskin. Additionally, circumcision rates have been dropping. The circumcision rate in California is now 30% and is comparable or less in Washington and Oregon. If Dalton lived on the West coast, he would be in the minority.

    The most common reason for routine infant circumcision is so that the son “looks like dad”. This is truly cosmetic surgery as there is no medical indication for it. Circumcision is actually a harmful and destructive procedure as it removes most of the nerve endings in the penis as well as other distinct anatomic structures. Dalton can considerably improve his sensitivity with the restoration process over many years. However, he will never have anything close to the sensitivity Cole has.

    I am mostly concerned about Cole’s feeling somehow inadequate or inferior. He is actually one of the very lucky ones who avoided routine circumcision at a time when it was customarily done in the U.S. I wish I had been so lucky and believe he should consider himself blessed.

    I hope Cole is honest with Dalton and explains that his circumcision was a mistake but done with the best intentions, as was the case with many of us. I also hope this will be a teaching experience with the understanding that the normal anatomy is always the best.

  17. I am at least glad to hear that the barbarity of the procedure was minimized.

    With that said, your wife is one seriously immature piece of work.

    The saddest and most disgusting part is this:

    >> “A day will come when you’ll get to override one of my decisions.” This, of course, we both knew was a lie.

    Trading your child’s future sexual pleasure and completeness for bartering power. It says a lot about your wife’s character.

    What other parts of your son’s anatomy will you trade? Maybe he can lose a testicle or a pinky or an ear-lobe so you get to decide the color of the bathroom?

  18. Alfred C. Schram says:

    Cole,
    What is done is done, and there is no point going back.
    Even though neither my wife nor I wanted our son to be circumcised, I let the doctor brainwash me with horror stories about men with penile cancer and their wife with cervical cancer, all so easily prevented with circumcision (this was in 1965). Finally, two years ago after my wife passed away, I got the courage to apologize to my son. My son was very understanding, and graciously accepted my apology; he is now restoring his foreskin, but my guilt is not decreased. However, I have to say that apologizing to my son has had an unexpected and very beneficial effect on our relationship.
    Parenting is a very difficult job, parents always want to do the best for their child, but are too often lead astray by suggestions from respected persons. Do keep on loving your son, and when he is old enough to understand, give him access to and encouragement for foreskin restoration.
    By the way, now that, according to the current available statistics, only 30% of the boys are circumcised in the U.S., and you may have to help your son avoid the feeling of being the odd one.
    Best wishes.
    Alfred.

  19. You have no idea how much rage I am filled with right now reading this.

    I was circumcised as a child. I’m not happy with it. I’ve always wanted my body the way nature made me REGARDLESS of what others thought. Also, in your son’s generation foreskins are less wierd, circumcision rates have declined DRASTICALLY of late and I will do my best to keep this that way.

    The reasoning behind this is CRUEL and your wife is a MONSTER.

    Did you also know that circumcision was started in the 1800s for the sole purpose of inhibiting sexual pleasure? And ever since the medical justification has been shaky at best to stop it? Did you also know that women I know who have done it with both PREFER uncut guys because they’re usually better? Your wife MUTILATED her son because his NATURAL body is “wierd”? If people can make the argument that a son should be circumcised because his dad is, then it should work the other way, right?

    I’m feeling so much burn right now…

  20. This is so sad. You should have reevaluated your relationship with that female as soon as she mentioned cutting part of your son’s penis off. Not to mention that you aren’t circumcised. That is a slap in the face to you. She obviously has no respect for YOU, YOUR SON, and HUMAN RIGHTS. She has some deep issues that you should force her to address and fix

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  22. It’s sad that your wife and father in law would have manipulated your ego that way. Your son did deserve a whole body. Your son has a good dad, but one who let his ego become bruised very easy and failed to defend him from his brainwashed mom and grandfather.

  23. CutAndAngry says:

    What doctors say about circumcision :

    “The Doctors: Daytime Talk Show Disaster” :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA

  24. CutAndAngry says:

    You disgusting pedophile criminal who calls herself a “mother” , you desserve to be amputated of a bodypart you would have liked to keep and live like that for 50 more years !

    Routine Infant Circumcision :
    http://vimeo.com/22940047

  25. CutAndAngry says:

    What a horrible woman !!! I hope her son sues her and makes her pay for having him robbed a piece of his genitals !

    How could she ?! And how could this weak imbecile let her get away with it !

    I would have divorced this disgusting woman ( whose vagina is 100% protected by the law ) immediately !

    And how can a partially amputated and scarred penis look better than a natural one ?

    This “mother” enjoys having total power over her sons future adult sex life , she’s a sadist and doesn’t know the meaning of the words “love” and “respect” !

    SHAME ON YOU , YOU ABUSIVE PSYCHO-MOTHER !!!

  26. All Things Mommy says:

    I’d be divorcing her! If she thinks that your penis has a deformity, which resembles a totem to your marriage(sex) then she does not deserve you.

    • Andrew Kohler says:

      One wonders: where were all the people insisting that little boys’ penises must match their fathers’? Why is that statement (I will not dignify it by characterizing it as an “argument”) trotted out endlessly, and with a straight face, in cases in which the father is circumcised, and yet when the father is intact, it seems not to matter. Ironically, the only admirable statement in this craven article is that the author realized that it’s not not important for his son to look like him.

      This article shows how base conformity can override a child’s well-being. It is nothing more than a massive acquiescence to peer pressure of the kind which in our society we tell children they should resist. Maybe Dalton should start smoking and drinking at the age of 14 to fit in with his peers also, lest he be teased? My fourth grade teacher said to me one of the wisest things I’ve ever heard: if a child is teased, (s)he is not the one with the problem. The kids doing the teasing are the ones with the problem. They should be dealt with, and the child should not be forced to change in accommodation to such deplorable behavior.

      I am depressed beyond words to read such an article. It should not be titled “The Freak with the Foreskin,” but rather ake the title of one of the songs in Bertold Brecht’s great play Mother Courage and Her Children: “The Song of the Great Capitulation.”

      • Andrew Kohler says:

        Correction: “…the only admirable statement in this craven article is that the author realized that it’s not important for his son to look like him.” The extra not was a typo; I did not intend for that statement to have litotes.

        While I’m here, I may as well mention that my depression from this article has in no way abated. One of the most dismal things I’ve read in favor of circumcision is a very strong field.

      • It’s not about making the kid look like his father, it’s about permanently changing the child’s body without his choice. If the husband had said I think boobs ugly and we are having all breast tissue removed from our baby at birth *but yours are ok* you’d turn around and slap the husband. I personally have a botched circumcision and spent my entire life with sensitivity issues and feelings of disfigurement. No child should be circumcised without being able to make the choice themself as an adult.

  27. TimBeau says:

    The father-in-law’s experience sounds bogus to me. At his age foreskin would not have been uncommon.

  28. TimBeau says:

    The circumcision rate in the USA at last report was about 30% and falling. The argument that he will look different in the lockerroom does not hold water. Also, most USA schools do not even shower after PE anymore anyways. As an uncircumcised man, I was not made fun of nor did anyone ever say anything about my foreskin. I was born in the 1960s during the height of circumcision and I was far from being the only uncut boy in the lockerroom. No one cared.

    • TimBeau says:

      I have had several girlfriends and sex partners. Not one ever refused oral or vaginal sex because of my foreskin. My wife loves my cock and its foreskin. When our first son was born she was the first to say “We are NOT circumcising him”. My brother is not circumcised nor are his 3 or my 2 sons and not one of us have had any foreskin problems. My brother-in-law is also uncircumcised but only daughters.

      I would never let a woman force me to circumcise my son nor myself. I would not force plastic surgery on her either.

  29. Transhuman says:

    Cole, I have an experiment in mind – should you have a daughter, insist to your wife that the infant must have a clitoral unhooding (aka hoodectomy). Two things…keep a close eye on your wife in case she takes you seriously and watch her reaction. I expect she’ll respond with a vehement “no”. That should tell you all you need to know about her.

  30. There are 9,324,986 things that people will think you are “weird” for. You can teach your child to be proud of his individuality, or you can teach him to hack off offending parts of himself, emotionally and otherwise to meet the expectations of others.

    • Gabrielle says:

      Exactly! A bully may make fun of your son’s foreskin, so you cut it off? Will you send extra lunch money to give the bullies up front in case they want to steal it? It may “protect” your son from being beat up. Why give bullies that much power? We try to teach girls to be proud of their bodies as they are; boys deserve no less.

  31. I never saw any refutation of the poster who mentioned that a different article of Cole’s talks about his infant son pulling his foreskin out 6″.

    I’m sorry but something is rotten in denmark.

    Cole didn’t respond to the posters question except to call him a stalker. Controlling the argument 101: instead of addressing the commenter’s question Cole played “smear the messenger” to avoid talking about the issue that he’s posting totally contradictory blog posts about his son.

    This doesn’t make sense and seemingly appears to be a total fabrication.

    • Transhuman says:

      I am circumcised, through no desire of my own. it was done while I was an infant. Oddly enough neither of my parents belong to a religion that mandates the mutilation of infant boys. My father was circumcised by his parents and they both just thought it was normal. If anything as a boy, I was one of the strange ones; at an all-boys school it is easy to see the variety penises come in during changing to and from sports clothes. At a rough guess less than a quarter of us were mutilated. We were the strange ones, we the circumcised were the odd ones out.

      I did notice something; you could be ridiculed for many things at school, especially in an all-boys school. I never heard anyone picked on for being ‘cut’. Perhaps it is one of those scars that even boys know you have no choice about. A relic of an ancient barbarity that should have gone the way of the dodo a long time ago.

    • Transhuman says:

      This was meant as a general reply to the article.

  32. Joanna Schroeder says:

    This piece just broke my heart.

    I can’t say anything that other people haven’t already said…

    But your penis isn’t weird. And neither is a circumcised penis. They’re both penises. It breaks my heart that she would say that to you.

    Men: Not all women are like this.

    My sons are intact. I’m proud that they are. No one should shame your son for his being circumcised, it wasn’t his fault.

    But this whole thing just let me heartsick.

  33. Natalie says:

    Mother of an uncircumsized baby here. Woman who’s been around the block enough to experience all the beautiful (well, nubs being the exception) diversity in Dicklandia. I feel sorry for every party involved in this article. The sadly ignorant mother who needs a international vacation to open her eyes. The beaten down father who knows this issue is literally and metaphorically the tip of the iceberg because he believes that he will also not make impactful big decisions in the future, as well. The child who is deprived of the opportunity to be like daddy and who also may find the explanation of why he isn’t an excuse to think like his mother or act like grandfather (I mean, seriously, when did it become ok to ask older generations how we can perpetuate their ignorance???). I haven’t read every post here, but has anyone mentioned that the rates of circumcision in the U.S. had dropped significantly so much so that it’s almost an even 50/50 split???

  34. John Anderson says:

    I’ll admit that I didn’t read the article or any of the comments. I’m fairly certain that the moderators would delete what I would have to say to you at least based on the title. That would simply be an exercise in frustration for me and I have too much stress now as it is.

    Chalk it up to the same effect that I get when I see trigger warning, but since I’m certain that this site would never run a piece advocating rape, I doubt that I would get routinely moderated out when commenting on those articles when I work up enough courage to read them .

    • You just basically said you didn’t read the article and that speaking your mind might get you banned? I’m confused. Why bother commenting if you’re not going to read? *eyeroll*

  35. I’m so glad so many people here are supportive of non circumcision… my situation was the opposite… I threatened divorce if my son’s penis was touched with any cold scissor like objects. My best experiences have been with men whose confidence and acceptance of who they are really was a turn on. It’s a myth that circumcised men are clean. Thousands of years ago, people circumcised because cleanliness was a major issue. Its a simple fix… something everyone can benefit from… cleanliness :))

  36. Israel has nukes, so circumcision is here to stay.

  37. Crookmeister says:

    Cole, it’s not your penis that your wife has issues with, but your distinct lack of balls. Grow a pair and start standing up for yourself or she will lose respect for you and will continue to make important decisions like this unilaterally. More importantly, stand up for your son at least.

    • Why do you have to put the blame on him? How about his wife not suggest something like this, huh?

  38. This story made me sick to my stomach. How can a genitally intact (not “uncircumcised”) man authorize the genital alteration of his child? Your description of his prepuce (foreskin) as a “half inch of skin” is out of context – the double-sided area of an adult male’s prepuce is typically 15 square inches. It is by far the most innervated portion of male genitalia – no small matter. Your due dilligence on this important topic was lacking. The decision to excise healthy, functional and normal erogenous tissue was not yours to make – you failed to protect your son. If, and only if, he felt teased or concerned about future sexual partners, he could have consented to circumcision as a teenager. It may have cost you a bit more, but he would have made the choice about his body (not yours). As a circumcised man who understands what was lost, I know that my bodily integrity rights were certainly violated. I urge you to research this issue further and help protect other children from genital alteration – some of our most outspoken advocates have circumcised children and are now trying to fix this cultural problem. Btw, your son’s genital alteration was based on inaccurate data – the US circumcision rate is just over 50%. Locker room parity has arrived…

  39. Peter Houlihan says:

    I’d just like to say I really appreciate all the women who’ve come in to voice their concern. It’s something we don’t hear nealy enough of.

    This article seriously disturbed me. The fact that your wife unilaterally decided to have elective surgery performed on her son, way before he could consent, to satisfy her own aesthetic bias is just wrong. I’d just like to assure you that your uncut penis is a beautiful thing and I know for a fact many women appreciate it just the way it is. Stay strong dude.

  40. Yeoman Roman says:

    Wow. It ain’t over of course. And your marriage will likely suffer because of your wife’s ignorant attitude. The fact that she talked you into it, eventually you won’t respect yourself for having gone along. I feel for both of you and for your son. Why the hell can’t she go see a therapist? She has to cut a little boy for her sexual preferences? It is wrong for dads to do it, it is wrong for mom’s to do it.

    • Michelle says:

      I Hate the argument that your son will be made fun of because his penis will look different. To mutilate your baby because you are afraid he will be teased is horrible.

  41. Dude
    If a woman tells you that she dislikes your penis type she is telling you just about everything you need to know. See, women never care much about the dick; only the owner and bearer of the dick.
    Run, do not walk, to the DNA testing facility nearest you. Bring a box of tissues.

  42. Heather says:

    I am just… so sorry. I am sorry that your wife made you feel that way, that she was so disrespectful to you AND your son and that she overruled you in a way that can’t be taken back. It makes me sick that she would lie to you that way.

    I love my husband’s penis, as much as I’ll love any penis. It’s cut and scarred. I would love it with foreskin, too, though it might not be as interesting to explore the modification. I like tattoos and piercings, too. But that has NOTHING to do with our child’s genitals. The year my second daughter was born, 33% of her male peers were circumcised. Almost all of her male friends are intact. So the circumcised men will be the minority when she is grown. My first, 51% were circumcised. I don’t know about my third.

    But because of their friends, my girls will probably think that your son’s penis is ‘weird.’ So will many of his peers. Your wife may have done the biggest disservice to him that ever could have been done and I am sorry.

  43. Chromesthesia says:

    What the hell?
    Dude. Foreskin is NORMAL AND NATURAL! It’s how the penis is SUPPOSED to look.
    Now imagine if a man said, “We got to get that girl cut, having a labia is weird. Having a prepuce is disgusting. Men HATE clitorises.” People would freak out, yet it’s OK to let someone cut off a natural part of a boy using sugar water? Really?

    People, realize that us Americans have been brain washed. Do you realize that 85% of men in the world have foreskins? You go to Europe, most parts of Asia and men have foreskins there. They don’t cut their children at birth because it’s a natural body part! And yet, due to brainwashing and that nut Kellogg who couldn’t just stick to cornflakes, we do this to baby boys, mutilate them.
    Get over foreskin. It’s not dirty, it’s not disgusting. It’s not making men’s penises fall off in the countries where they don’t even bother with this crap. It’s a good part. If I was a man and some woman I was with told me my genitals were disgusting and suggested I let some doctor apply the Plastibell, which is NOT a snip, but peeling the foreskin off (sugar water doesn’t do a dang thing to protect against that pain) I would LEAVE HER! Same thing if I married a man who didn’t like my natural genitals and wanted my daughter cut! I would say, HELL NO. This will never happen!

  44. Circumcision of children is never acceptable. It is genital mutilation. It has no benefits and children die from it everyday. Leave your child’s penis alone. The wife’s actions are nothing short of disgusting. She should value her child more!

    • just the tip says:

      I agree! Sounds like your wife is the one to cut off, not your son. Sorry you’re stuck with her.

  45. So sad for so many reasons. First off, your wife is selfish. I have been with both a cut and an intact man, and after being with an intact man, I could never be with a cut man again. The difference is indescribable. You don’t amputate body parts from someone you love because you don’t like how they look, and to carve your son’s penis to be sexually appealing to you is perverted. Amputating a healthy body part is a personal decision for the person the part belongs to. NOT a parental decision. Secondly, I am sad for you. I have never seen your penis, but I can tell you it is more attractive and feels far more luxurious than a mutilated penis ever could. Perhaps your other girlfriends were smart enough to realize that and that’s why they never said otherwise. However, you as an adult are free to make the decision to remove it. If your son was not allowed the choice to keep his, it is selfish of you to keep yours. What was good for your son is good for you. Why do you choose to keep yours? Don’t you think your son would have chosen to keep his for the same reasons you do? You did not choose better for your son. You deprived him of something beautiful you yourself choose to keep.

    • Please read this and see how the foreskin is NOT freakish … http://theobsessedgardener.blogspot.com/2012/03/dont-mess-with-mother-nature.html

    • Gabrielle, what did you enjoy about the uncircumcised man more than the circumcised one? Does it provide extra stimulation and sensation to the vagina? Does it help achieve a better orgasm? Details please!

    • Is your penis making you an expert. I am intact and dislike it. Others I grew up with had theirs done as they were leaving school. Not such a simple procedure when you are 19. I was with my son and he did not fuss at all. I was also the only guy on my sports team not done. Their parents must all be selfish

      • Chromesthesia says:

        Why should you dislike being intact? That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’d hate if someone cut off my clitoral hood as a kid. Foreskins have a function. You have a WHOLE penis that hasn’t been callused.
        I think when I have kids I’m raising them in Europe or something. Just because the kid isn’t fussing, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and it’s not taking something away from him that he’s entitled to.

  46. Jennifer Laur says:

    this is so sad to me on so many levels…foreskin is NOT gross, or weird. it is a biologically normal body part that through generations of conditioning has become stigmatized. break free from it, break free from the garbage our society feeds us! embrace the way our bodies are formed…nature does not make mistakes. My husband opened my eyes to the awesomeness of foreskin…but i was open minded enough to receive it (no pun intended 😛 )…i wish this man’s partner hadn’t been so narrow.

  47. I’m a woman and I couldn’t give a crap whether a man has his foreskin or not. But that’s having a non-opinion on a past action. As for contemporary or yet-to-happen actions – it’s barbaric. Also your wife is a mean, judgmental woman and you’ve already let your son down.

  48. Many women in Europe convert to Islam. So maybe many women do prefer circumcised men.

  49. I realize I’m coming awfully late to this party, but I found this post when looking for information about the pros and cons of circumcision, as I’m pregnant and my husband and I are trying to come to a decision about what to do if we have a boy.

    First of all, thank you, Cole, for sharing your experience. It’s very helpful to find men willing to be open about their situations, and I’m sorry that so many people feel the need to denigrate you and your wife for your choice.

    My husband is circumcised, and we are currently leaning toward not circumcising our son. Not because either of us has a problem with the aesthetics or functionality of his penis, but because it seems sensible to avoid unnecessary surgery. If our son wants to be circumcised when he is older, we’ll certainly support that.

    While I don’t agree with the comments vilifying your wife, I do find it disturbing that she is so hung up on this issue. Frankly, I think my husband’s penis is beautiful, not because it is circumcised, but because it gives me pleasure and is part of the man I love. If it were green with purple polka-dots, I suspect I would learn to appreciate that, too.

  50. Gotta say, the comments here are pretty harsh! Ouch people. o-O

    I left my son intact and really had an uphill battle it seemed everyone felt that I was entitled to their opinion talk about bizarre! It seems your wife took some real cheap shots, parenting is hard enough without one half hitting below the belt like that…

  51. Wow really upsetting! Also married to a intact man and we are leaving our son intact too cause foreskin isn’t weird but circ’ing is.

  52. Irritated wench says:

    Your wife’s a bitch. I say this as a mother. Apparently, there was a part of your child’s body which she deemed “unacceptable.” It’s not like it’s a sixth toe, or a cleft palate! Every perfectly healthy baby boy HAS one.

  53. I am circumsised but my sons are not. My wife had absolutely no problems with this. I told her flat out that we wre not circumsising our sons, and that was that. Her mother also seems to be ok with this. And since my mother is German, she definetly has no issues.
    I refuse to let religious paranoia influence the quality of sex that God intended for us as men to enjoy. And just so everyone in here doesn’t get the wrong impression, I do believe in God. I have no problem with believing in God. It’s 98% of his fan club that is fucked up in the head. DON’T LET A CHURCH INFLUENCE YOU!!!! ORGANIZED RELIGION IS WHY THIS PLANET CAN’T STAY OUT OF A CONSTANT STATE OF WAR!!!

  54. This makes me so sad.
    I can’t believe your wife would make you feel that way, what a foolish woman.
    And I can’t imagine bringing home my beautiful baby boy and think, ‘Ew, parts of him are gross and we need those things surgically removed”.

    I feel sad for you and your son, but I mostly feel sad for your wife.
    I can’t imagine how depressing it would be to be her.

  55. I hate the word “snipped” as if it were just a little clip. It’s cosmetic surgery with a baby strapped to a board and screaming his head off until he passes out. Even if anesthetic is used for the procedure, it pinches and burns when that needle is stuck in over and over to numb it and it burns like any other incision point for weeks after.
    It’s too bad your wife didn’t do her research. Only 1/3 of boy born in the last 5 years was cut. That means that your son is in the minority and has the “weird” penis 🙁 What exactly does she plan to tell him when he asks why she took something from him that she can’t give back?!

  56. This man’s wife is a terrible woman. He’s going to stay with someone who makes ultimatums about his kids and backs them up with insults to his penis. I wouldn’t stay with a woman who did either of these things, let alone both at the same time. My favorite part is when she says that all the other women who had seen her husband’s penis were concealing their complaints.

    Really now. What redeeming factors could there possibly be to this marriage? The sex can’t be any good now with him always knowing she’s not real keen on his penis. And he knows that any decisions they make together only appear so because he agreed with her.

  57. Emma Green says:

    This was not your decision to make – it was your son’s. Who do you think you are, making decisions to permanently alter your child’s body because your warped society considers a normal, natural body to be ‘icky’? Pathetic, I really hope your son forgives you for what you have done to him. If the time comes that he wants to try and repair some of the damage you have caused then I suggest you tell him how terribly sorry you are and support him as he restores. If my partner wanted my child’s genitals cut (whether male or female) I would stop at nothing to protect them from that. That was your responsibility as a parent and you failed miserably.

  58. AcronLeeLee says:

    really who f-n cares..either do it or don’t . don’t whine it up after its said for and done.

  59. Your wife is lucky. Foolish but lucky. One of the lucky few members of her generation who gets to experience sex as nature intended it with her dear husband without the grief and effort of restoration.
    I would love to find a compatible intact partner (or at least one willing to restore, most are still in denial) to share my life and bed. It is not weird, it is your fully functioning penis, and it is a truly magnificent thing. Any partner who didn’t think the same wouldn’t have even deserved your son’s passing glance.

  60. jonny j says:

    “I want him to have the freedom to come to his own conclusions about life’s major issues like religion, politics, and his own body.” OBVIOUSLY NOT.

  61. Just passing by to tell you that you’re a failure of a parent for letting this happen.
    Maybe take a look into the “Grief” sub-forums of said “restoration sites” so you know how said people feel about fathers like you.

  62. Mistakes will be made when raising a child. Mutilating a child’ s penis is not a simple mistake, it is criminal. By any reading of the law, it still is criminal. What is worse is that you let your wife harm your son without the least bit of resistance. You both should be ashamed of yourselves. Your job is to protect and nurture your child, not harm him. Poor excuse for parents.

  63. This article is incredibly sad on so many levels…

  64. Poor Dalton…I hope kids don’t tease him about the shape of his nose, or laugh because his ears stick out like open taxi cab doors. He’ll be in for some other UNWARRANTED surgeries. Sorry, but this story just makes me nauseous. If you cant tell, I AM INTACT. Even though I was born in 1952, at the height of the American craze for male circumcision, I thankfully avoided the knife. And even in an all-boys high school, my VERY uncut penis was never even noticed, much less joked about. What a lame excuse for genital alteration. Shame!

  65. mr. nice says:

    i like my women freshly shaved and well douched before i get next to them .
    no stinking wreaking fishy smell or extra hairy bush.

    how gross it is ..

  66. You made a horrible decision because as you yourself have stated your son didn’t have a medical problem that needed to be addressed with circumcision. Instead he had a sexist mother who thought less of him because he was born normal and a father who chose ignorance over knowledge. If your son hates you, won’t talk to you, completely cuts you out of his life for what you did then you deserve it because it was HIS body and HIS right to choose however you and your wife had cosmetic surgery performed on his PENIS which is not reversible as foreskin restoration doesn’t replace everything you STOLE from him!

  67. Sexual/Physical Integrity is not a parent’s choice, Cole. It’s just not. That choice belonged to your son, once he, too , became an adult. I feel truly sorry for your son, who will never know true sexual gratification because the most sensitive part of his penis is long gone… something that never happened to you. As for your wife… someone who is ashamed of their spouse’s genitalia, especially the intact, natural, fully sensitized penis, (And demands that she be allowed to cut your son) does not know, understand or deserve to have what she has. There are many women who adore their loving, attentive, circumcised husbands who have to bang away at them in order to ejaculate… and sadly, the ejaculation is not a true orgasm, it physically hurts the woman getting him there, causes physical damage in the woman, and is often unfulfilling for the women.
    Making love is THE most sacred unspoken language lovers can can share… and your wife is ashamed and disgusted by the way you “speak” to her with your body. I can assure you… there are women out there who would not demand that you mutilate your next child… and who will love you all the more for being a whole man. And yes, when your son realizes what you allowed to be done to him that was never done to you… be prepared to do what ever he asks you to do to help him. Your wife… no hope for that one.

  68. I’m a straight woman and I love foreskins! I’m in the minority among my friends, but I’m not the only one.

  69. Innocent Bystander says:

    > I hope I can raise Dalton to make his own decisions.

    Sorry you already failed on that one.

    You allowed your son to be mutilated because of your wife’s irrational prejudices. What a sad excuses for human beings both you and your wife are.

    Men who have been circumcised have permanently raised stress hormone levels.

    The incidence of adult men choosing to get circumcised is minuscule – what does that tell you?

    > “You know, this means you owe me. I get to make a real big decision down the road,” I said to Nicole, scraping for dignity like a kid digging through the trash for his retainer.

    > “Absolutely,” she said. “A day will come when you’ll get to override one of my decisions.” This, of course, we both knew was a lie.

    Yes it is indeed pretty clear who wears the pants in your family.

    By the way having a picture of you kissing your son is no indication of how much you love him. You showed that when you caved in to your wife and allowed him to be mutilated.

  70. @Dean Blake, J. D. Orgasm is neurological but it is not in the brain. You can not have sex with badly damaged genitals.

    @Denis – It is not cosmetic it is mutilation. 70 percent of erogenous nerves are removed plus the gliding function and protection of the penis.

    Adults choosing circumcision for religious or social reasons might be content with what is left of their penis but men who lost their fore skin involuntarily for whatever reason are deeply wounded and feel an important part of their body was taken.

    Some famous men lost their fore skin.
    http://www.circumstitions.com/Resent.html

    I hate my circumcision. The circumcised area has no response to stimulation. When a girl touches that area I usually lose all excitement.

  71. I am circumsized. I found out that I was circumsized when I was eleven. I had just become interested in girls and began exploring my sexuality. I made a discovery shortly thereafter. The bottom half of my penis felt fine. The top half did not feel the same way. I looked at my erect penis and noticed the skin. I had a scar on my arm and the skin on my penis looked like the skin on arm. I was scared and I began probing my penis for more damage. I wondered what had happen and my mind came up with gruesome scenarios that I could almost feel. I went to my mom and asked what happened. She said I had been circumsized. I asked what that was and she said that my penis had been cut. I said What?!! Why?!! She said boys needed it done.

    As for sex, I have to be rough, even violent to that area, to feel stimulation. One of my first experiences with a girl I got a little over excited and I thrust into her roughly. I really hurt her and I have felt bad about it ever since.

    I had no choice in the matter, I was circumsized at birth. I never would let a doctor near my sons genitals with a scalpel.

    • Thank you for your blunt honesty in this forum. Hopefully someone will read your experience and not mutilate their son.

  72. Dean Blake, J. D. says:

    Orgasm is in the brain, not the penis. What is unsaid and unspoken is that about 20+% of the male population is inorgasmic, painful organsm or difficulty reaching orgasm for unknown reasons. The mechanics work, but not the brain. These men mistakenly attribute, if they ever actually realize they are inorgasmic, this loss to circumcision. It is true that there are aesthetic botches and even functional botch jobs, and even excisions, but unlike female circumciscion, it doesn’t necessarily interefer with achieving orgasm in men.

    The best attestation to this is the large number of Russian Jews denied opportunity for circumcision at birth, upon immigration to Israel sough out the surgical change and report no difference in sexual appetite or performance.

    • Nerve endings are in the penis.

      For adults, it’s elective cosmetic surgery

      For children, it is forced cosmetic surgery.

    • “Orgasm is in the brain not the penis”? How many men who have lost their entire penis can still reach orgasm?

      If this “about20+% inorgasmic” figure is true, I wonder whether that correlates with circumcision status at all? There is certainly no reason it should not and every reason why it should.

      “…it doesn’t necessarily interefer with achieving orgasm in men.” Not necessarily, but only sometimes? So in what proportion of men d o e s it interfere with the achieving of orgasm? And what proportion is acceptable – not just to you, but to the men involved?

      And what a sad thing it is when someone reduces the ecstacy of sexual fulfilment to “achieving orgasm”! There is a collection of such statements by circumcised men here: http://www.circumstitions.com/Sexuality.html#still .

      By removing ~20,000 specialised nerve endings (similar to those of the fingertips or the lips), circumcision is like cutting off the accelerator pedal and leaving an on-off switch. With less feedback, and hence less control, you can still reach the destination, but not enjoy the journey as much.

    • “The best attestation to this is the large number of Russian Jews denied opportunity for circumcision at birth, upon immigration to Israel sough out the surgical change and report no difference in sexual appetite or performance.”

      Anecdotal evidence. A significant proportion of Russian Jews decline to be circumcised when they go to Israel – because they value their foreskins, perhaps? So your sample is self-selected before you begin.

      Then, if a man finds his sexuality h a s been adversely affected, who is he going to tell? How will infant-circumcised men (you know, the ones who “aren’t missing anything”) react to his news? No, he’s going to keep it to himself, and If he was devout enough to go through with it, he’ll bite the bullet and “offer it up”, as they say.

  73. When my son was born nearly 28 years ago, I asked several doctors to explain to me why I should mutilate his genitalia. No one would recommend that it be done so I left him intact. It is a personal decision for any parent but not recommended by any doctor that I could find. My sister had her sons done simply because their father was done and she felt that they should look alike. Personally I prefer a natural penis but it is not a deal breaker. I am really surprised at the overall tone here.

  74. YOUR WIFE IS A SEXIST AND A BRUTAL, DISGUDTING ANIMAL!!
    the damage she did because it “looks weird”..sick

  75. tell your wife i hope she gets breast cancer.
    shes a sick bitch with no right to life or motherhood.

    • I hope you realize a comment like this doesn’t make you look like a good person at all. If anything, it makes you look like an utterly despicable human being.

  76. 1.
    why doesnt your wife have a blackeye? no WAY shes escaping a SEVERE beating from me if she uttered that. and thats because im such a fair and loving person!
    seriously, DIVROCE HER. shes EVIL and quite clearly not fit to be a mother, or a human.
    id honestly bring hitler back from the dead if it meant she’d be in line to die in a gas chamber.
    EVIL BITCH!
    imagine if men thought clitorises looked “ugly?”

    • Your reply is despicable, man or woman. You have no right to lay your hand on another human being. Your desire to hurt, humiliate and abuse another reveals your character -and lack of it.

    • You’re right. Circumcision is a brutal practice and domestic violence is the cure. You’re a fun one.

      • I think men who’ve suffered sadistic sexual torture and maiming from their infancy on have a right to vent some frustration and anger. Babies look to their mothers for protection instinctively; a survivor of this most evil of child abuse has to hear such trite, vile crap from *another* woman who solicits MGM upon another infant AND THE INTACT DAD ALLOWS IT (instead of putting his body between his son & the woman trying to injure him), and he’s supposed to stay CALM?

        Get off your high horses; he used words, not fists. However, one person WAS sexually tortured here (oh wait- many of the responders as well), and there’s less fussing about that then one justifiably FURIOUS man’s pissed-off rhetoric?

        I’ve seldom been so thoroughly disgusted in my life. It’s as if in an essay about rape by an author laughing off the sexual assault of her daughter because her husband said ‘she had it coming the way she was dressed’, one woman who’d been raped LOST IT and said that that husband ought to be castrated.

        Except, of course, rape usually doesn’t leave permanent physical scars & amputate body parts; it’s for sexual sociopaths to accomplish that.

      • Hi there Cole. Congratulations on the bouncing baby SCREWUP you just made for your son. Immediately head to your wife’s closet, stick on one of her dresses and complete the transformation from man to PUSS. If you hadn’t let your wife rip both your balls off of you, then perhaps you might have kept your oath to protect him from harm. Instead, you compromised your principles, subjected your boy to harm, even put him at risk of severe complications and possibly death and for what?

        So some stuck-up tramp wont turn him away because of how his penis looked? Way to make such a grand decision, pal, stand up and take a bow! There’s a reason Male Genital Mutilation is dropping in frequency.

  77. Bob Smith says:

    Male genital mutilation needs to be banned for infants and boys. Adult men can make their own choices. All children – regardless of gender – have a right to whole and intact bodies.

  78. I hope your kid gets to read this, and how you mutilated his genitals simply to satisfy your WIFE’s sense of aesthetics.

    You, and people like you, disgust me. Child abuse for cosmetic purposes.

    If there’s any justice in this world, your son will hate you when he grows up.

  79. Michaelquerty says:

    The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Task Force on Circumcision has been meeting to finalize the organization’s forthcoming statement, which may recommend circumcision.

    We need to make sure it hears our message BEFORE it issues a decision that could be harmful to baby boys across America: Circumcision is harmful, unnecessary, and ethically wrong, and pediatricians need to remember that they took an oath to “do no harm.”

    Send a message directly to the AAP task force now!

    http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5922/t/6483/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=2547

    If we successfully prevent the AAP from recommending circumcision, it will be a victory for baby boys – and it will help prevent dangerous recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), which are also considering revising their positions.

    But there isn’t much time. With your help, we need to turn up the pressure on the AAP right now.

    Send your message to the AAP task force today – before it’s too late for baby boys.

    http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5922/t/6483/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=2547

    Once you’ve sent your message, please go one step further and forward this message to your friends and family and ask them to join you in contacting the AAP. Please also share this message on Facebook and Twitter.

    Time is of the essence, and we need to ensure that the members of the task force hear from as many intactivists as possible before they issue their statement.

    At this critical moment, we hope you will continue to stand with us.

    Thank you for your support!

    http://www.intactamerica.org

  80. Michaelquerty says:

    So, your wife said your body was ugly or weird and your not offended? Wow, roll over and take it. It’s your body, your decision. Babies can’t make that decision and circumcision is removing tissue with nerve endings without him being able to make a choice. Penile cancer? Really? Fear monger more please, Aids? etc, ? Really? I doubt the difference is significant and your still forcing mutilation upon someone. I wonder if female circumcision was shown to have benefits to men if it would be advertised as so beneficial.

    Let him make the choice, you shouldn’t have the right to mutilate someone Else’s body because it looks evil, weird or wrong to you. This story is so sad……………..

  81. This article kind of makes me sad. How does “weirdness” justify genital mutilation? I’m not exactly sure what this man is trying to protect his son from.

    • He;s trying to protect his son from his mother, and his ready-to-bully the different grandfather. But this is really about protecting himself from the selfish, shallow woman that he’s married too. I wonder what the sex life is like now that the penis is out of the foreskin.

  82. ““It’s like your penis is wearing a turtleneck,” she’d sometimes say, benignly.” Well she can stop right there. Your penis HAS a turtleneck. It’s an integral part, contrary to a lot of circumcised thinking.

    “On Seinfeld, Elaine once bemoaned the uncircumcised penis’ lack of “personality.”” I don’t know how to break it to you, but Elaine on Seinfeld is a fictional character written by – almost certainly – circumcised men. And which has more personality, one that just gets bigger, or a Transformer?

    “my extra bit of skin.” Whaddaya mean, extra? You were born with it, it’s yours by right. (So’s your son’s) We call this “the circumcised mindset” but I haven’t seen such a severe case in an intact man.

    “an extra half-inch of skin” (resists temptation to make personal remark) No in an adult man it’s a good 15 square inches (100 cm²) unfolded of not only skin, but mucosa, a thin muscle layer and ~20,000 nerves, specialised like those of the fingertips or the lips.

    “I can only hope he will learn to forgive us.” I hope he does too, but if not, I’m on his side.

  83. As a circumcised man who likes being circumcised, I think you made a terrible error. The choice should be made by the individual when the penis has stopped growing (18-21 years of age). As I said I am very happy being circumcised, BUT the choice was not mine and the fact that I was “cut” before I had matured has left me with the skin of my penis being very tight during erections.

    • Robert Samson says:

      “BUT the choice was not mine and the fact that I was “cut” before I had matured has left me with the skin of my penis being very tight during erections.”

      And you still like being circumcised? How interesting..this begs the question of just why you would like it, since this is a common complication of circumcision.

  84. Cole, I have a great way for you to redeem yourself, at least partially: Undergo the procedure yourself. After all, it’s only a little bit of skin (and in your case, probably -very- little).

    There are three good reasons for you to get circumcised: 1) If you do, your wife will love you more. Just think — she won’t have to hold her nose and gag any longer, when “it” gets anywhere near her sweet, prim face. 2) Doing so may spare resentment on your boy’s part later in life, when he realizes that you let it be done to him, without his having any say in the matter. And 3) You will reduce the chance of your spreading HIV and chlamydia and other STDs by one or two percentage points.

    So go ahead. Make that call, first thing Friday. You’ll be glad you did. Once it’s done, report back to us with regard to how you like it.

    • Robert Samson says:

      Just a little bit of skin?

      Hate to prick your balloon, but:

      BRITISH JOURNAL OF UROLOGY, Volume 77, Pages 291-295,
      February 1996.

      The prepuce: Specialized mucosa of the penis and its loss to circumcision
      by J.R. Taylor, A.P. Lockwood and A.J. Taylor

      read it and weep!

      IF circumcision reduces the things you claim, why do we see the opposite effect in the real world?

  85. Coleisabigfatphony says:

    This article is garbage, ignore it.

  86. Mr. Gamble, Your next article should be about the day your wife had your balls removed. It probably happened as soon as you gave her the ring.

  87. I don’t see why they couldn’t leave it up to the boy himself. They could offer to pay for the procedure when he’s a teenager after giving him some time to make his decision. Some guys resent having their parents make this decision for them, especially since it’s so personal and only affects the guy in the end.

  88. Robert Samson says:

    If this account is true, we are looking at two pathetic people. The question this poses is which is more pathetic:

    A dumb broad with some serious mental issues, and a stupid, ignorant, pussy-whipped man with no balls.

    neither are fit to be parents.

  89. The sad thing about this piece is that the dad thinks he’s intact, but in truth his wife has cut off his balls.

    She’s basically saying: “We must mutilate our son so he won’t be teased by monsters like me.”

    Th dad should have said: “We will leave him intact and it will help him identify monsters like you.”

    And her whole case is faulty. For one thing, even in the US more than half of boys are being left intact now. The dad doesn’t help by errantly calling a foreskin “a half-inch” of skin. In fact the adult foreskin is about 15 square inches of exquisite sexual interface. It includes thousands of specialized pleasure-receptive nerve endings, it protects the glans and mucosa from drying and abrasion, and it gives an awesome frictionless rolling/gliding mode of stimulation.

    NOT ONE national medical association on earth (not even Israel’s) endorses routine circumcision. Many outright condemn it, including the national policy statements of Holland and Australia, both recently updated to reflect everything known about Africa and STDs.

    Foreskin feels REALLY good. It’s HIS body, and only HE has the moral right to authorize cosmetic amputations.

  90. Nicholas012 says:

    Your wife didn’t like your foreskin, so you cut your son’s penis to please her. That’s a very rational decision… after all, who cares about the boy’s rights to sexual integrity, and who simply cares about his own will.

    And by the way, the neonatal circumcision rate in the US today is 30%, therefore even the locker room argument is against the selfish and cruel act you forced on your own son.

  91. This has got to be one of the saddest things I have ever read. Cole Gamble you are a disgrace to men everywhere. You are a mangina of the highest magnitude and I would not piss on your if you had cought fire. You chose to mutilate your infant son because your female have a problem with nature?

    I am not prone to violence, but you sound like you are married to a bitch that needs to get straightened out. You most certainly do. I would spit at you if you were present, you disgusting, spineless, weak, good for nothing mangina! To have your sons penis mutliated because the bitch…..Im in awe.

    Fuck you!

    • Wow…incredibly harsh. And using mangina? That’s sexist to women, I hope you know, especially because there is no equivalent term to describe a woman who gives in to what her husband wants.

  92. Circumcision by proxy?

    Why didn’t you just get yourself circumcized for your wife’s comfort and let your son decide for himself how he wants his penis to look once he reaches the age when he starts showing it others?

    • Amy Barton says:

      I’m confused by that, too. There are many women who much prefer a penis with a foreskin. There are many men who are angry that theirs was taken. If Cole’s wife doesn’t like a man with a foreskin, the obvious choice is to ask him to remove HIS, not his son’s.

  93. “Mistakes will be made. This is a parent’s burden. I can only hope he will learn to forgive us.”

    This is the truth all parents must face. If it isn’t mutilating your kid’s body, it’s mutilating their mind. We can only do what we can do. Thanks for facing and baring your shame.

    Good luck )))

  94. AM Burning says:

    I know that we are all angry at Cole, myself included, but he was clearly bullied into this. What’s worse is that he was bullied by a loved one. I kind of feel sorry for him now. I think that Cole feels conflicted about what happened to his son. That’s actually a good sign folks! I’d be more worried about him if he didn’t feel conflicted. Cole has to live with himself now. Perhaps his son might even ask him one day: “dad, were you cut too?” At which point Cole will have to reply: “No I wasn’t; I would have never have allowed mommy make THAT decision”.

  95. I was having my first child and interviewed a pediatrician for my unborn daughter. My husband was with me. And the Dr. asked, “If you have a boy, will you circumcise him?”. I said, “No!” and my husband said, “Yes!” at the same time. We looked at each other, not wanting to argue. The Pediatrician smiled, “Well, girls grow up their whole life learning how to be mommies. Boys grow up their whole life with their penises. Mom, you can be a mommy and make all the right decisions about your baby. Dad, you can make a better decision on your son’s penis.” We had a girl, so we did not have to argue our difference. But I think I would have fought to not circumcise. And my husband would have made the final decision. But I would have given him every fact and piece of my mind to help him decide. I am grateful for my husband in my life.

    • Amy Barton says:

      So by that, does that mean your paediatrician supported circumcision or was against it – when he said ‘better decision’? I’m confused.

      I find the comment horribly sexist either way, on a number of levels. I don’t presume to be the foremost authority on the removal of my daughter’s labia just because I have them. Neither would I consider my partner to be the foremost authority on cutting off a child’s foreskin – especially if he’d never experienced one. Regardless, we choose to leave those decisions to our children, whether they’re boys or girls.

      There is no immediate reason a healthy child should have part of their sexual anatomy removed.

    • Joseph4GI says:

      So if you wanted to circumcise your daughter, then your husband would have had no say, right?

      Absolutely unprofessional of that doctor to be splitting you and your husband up that way.

      You are BOTH the child’s parents.

  96. Clara Franco says:

    Didn’t it strike you as odd that the doctor was SOOO HAPPY and enthusiastic about your son’s circumcision??…

    Well of course he was happy.
    He was VERY happy.
    Any doctor gets happy at the idea of making easy money out of an unnecessary, barbaric mutilation that affects the male’s sexual function for life, chosen by a parent out of weakness and ignorance. How sad and shameful. Your wife essentially told you that your genitals are disgusting, and you were OK with that. Did you at least tell her to get a long look at HERS?? Has she had her vagina mutilated yet??

    At least YOU, the adult, get to choose if you maybe want to amputate your foreskin. Your son doesn’t get to choose.

    Maybe when your balls drop you’ll stop to think what will happen if your son grows among intact peers (it WILL happen if you ever move outside the Midwest). THEN he will be the one who gets teased because his penis is scarred and weird.
    Too bad the kid is still Mommy’s property and Mommy gets to choose which parts of his body he keeps.

  97. So your wife thinks that mutilating your son will make him less disgusting to her than you are, and instead of protecting your child, you let her do it?

    Because of chivalry?

    Protecting a woman’s delicate sensibilities is more important to you than protecting your son’s body?

  98. Your last 4 sentences say it all. Welcome to the fold, Papa, and may you find peace in ways that further your striving to be a great dad. We all hope and wish to do the same. 🙂

  99. No one -especially a woman – should be given a say in mutilating their son’s genitalia. The same holds true for fathers and female circumcision, but it’s outlawed to do that to our young girls in this country so it’s never an issue. I don’t know what is sadder: the woman who would sacrifice her son’s sexual pleasures for her own need to control, or the weak-willed man who allowed his son to be mutilated like this.

    “To be like daddy” has to be one of the most crazy reasons I have ever heard for justifying genital mutilation, whenever this topic is brought up. If daddy was blind in one eye and walks with a limp, would we allow women tot pour bleach in one of our son’s eyes and cripple one of his legs?

  100. Jay Hammers says:

    I can’t believe this word hasn’t yet been uttered:

    Sick.

  101. Cole, I hate to tell you, but your wife is a jerk. So is any woman who expects a man to be circumcised in order to protect her aesthetic sensibilities. If you were any kind of real man – and a true father – you would have saved your son and dumped your wife. Mothers don’t have total control of their children’s welfare, despite feminist proclamations. And, despite their concerns, women don’t have absolute control over the male body; any more than men have absolute control over the female body. The right for women to control their own bodies begins and ends with them. It doesn’t transfer over to us males. I know a lot of American women have a bad attitude towards the uncircumcised penis; then again, many seem to have problems with the male physique altogether. But, that’s their problem; not ours. They need to get over it. Any woman who thinks the uncircumcised penis looks “weird” needs to take a good long look at her own crotch. The female genitalia isn’t exactly museum quality art. The human genitalia isn’t built for looks; it’s built for function. You don’t look at it; you work with it!

    Women are no longer expected to alter their physical attributes just to please men. Therefore, men shouldn’t have to do the same. Of course, with infant circumcision, the male doesn’t have a choice. Technically, circumcision is already a federal crime, since there are laws preventing the physical mutilation of infants and children. When I was born in 1963, my father forbade me to be circumcised, despite objections from the pediatrician warning about penile cancer and venereal diseases. I’ve never had either and I’ve never been unclean.

    There are too many myths surrounding the uncircumcised penis to count. But, the fact is that, as of 2009, the rate of newborn circumcisions stood at roughly 30%. Until it’s outlawed altogether like so-called female circumcision, though, that’s not enough. You may agree with your wife that your penis looks “weird,” Cole, but mine isn’t! Now, some time this weekend dig around in one of your wife’s designer purses and see if you can find your balls.

  102. antimutilation says:

    “I find it odd that circumcision detractors are this interested in my son’s penis in the first place.”

    I find it odd that you would speak at length (no pun intended) about your son’s PRIVATE (your word) parts on a PUBLIC forum while inviting comments about it, then accuse others for responding to a topic that YOU have no problem bringing up yourself.

    If you don’t remember what you wrote see here: http://www.daddyfiles.com/2008/11/06/blasphemy/

    If you’re going to throw accusations around try not to be a total hypocrite, “Daddy.”

  103. You sorry fucking idiot.

    • You risked your son’s life because your wife called your penis “weird”?

      Your penis isn’t weird. It’s normal. Your WIFE is weird. Your BRAIN is weird. You need to learn to tell the difference between your penis, your wife and your brain.

      • And now your son’s penis is weird. For the rest of his life. He’ll never get back what you and your idiot wife took from him. (With apologies to the real idiots in the world. I’ve met some really stupid people who at least have the heart not to cut up their children’s sex organs.)

  104. AM Burning says:

    Cole: In any debate someone gets there way and someone doesn’t.

    The only person who didn’t “win” here was your son.

    Cole: As I showed in the article, my wife was adamant, but according to people here, I should have “had balls” and and put my wife in her place.

    First of all, why weren’t YOU adamant? “Having balls” doesn’t mean you “rough up your wife” or “put her in her place”, it means that you find the courage to stand by your convictions. It means that, you do the right thing. It means that you “fight” to protect your son from your wife’s obvious ignorance.

    I know another couple who were at odds about this issue too. The only difference in their story was that they were not American. Dad wanted the circ and mom did not. Eventually mom backed down and allowed her husband to make “the decision”. In Africa, THAT decision is to cut off the the girl’s clitoral hood. It is analogous to the foreskin. Mom backed down and allowed Dad to “trim” their daughter. Dad swayed her with this logic:

    “ALL the girls here have their hoods trimmed honey, our child will be a freak if we don’t do this”

    The girl was circumcised. What was the wife suppose to do? She wasn’t able to protect her daughter from her husband or their culture.

    I think that i’d have more respect for you Cole if you just admitted that, and apologized to you son someday….

  105. It makes me sad that we are allowing our sons in this country to be cut due to how shallow people in this country are. I find it much more “weird” that the majority of adult men are walking around without their entire penis and this is seen as okay and even normal. Yet, the natural penis is seen as “weird”, “gross”, “ugly” or even “disgusting.” I’m glad the trend is changing in the US. If it keeps up at the current rate, unaltered men will outnumber circumcised men and THEY will be seen as weird. I’m happy that my son is able to be a part of this trend.

    • The writer’s self-loathing is sad. What is even worse is his wife’s loathing of his body. She should have told him before marrying him how disgusting she felt his body was, or at least let him decide if he wanted to get part of his penis cut off.

      Even worse, she decided to cut off her sons penis without his knowledge or consent. Even worse, the self-loathing husband went along with it. What a pitiful circus. I would divorce her if I were him.

  106. So because your wife considers the foreskin weird its okay for your future daughter in law to possibly end up with cervical issues?
    http://www.helium.com/items/477183-how-male-circumcision-hurts-women
    Glad I live in the end of the world where circumcision is considered really weird.

  107. WOW. What a lot of nerve on your wife. I LOVE my husband’s intactness. I worship it. I enjoy that we both can enjoy each other the way we were meant to. It’s sad your wife won’t except and love your WHOLE body.
    If you ever have a daughter, I would highly suggest using the “she needs to get circumcised because uncircumcised girls are just weird. Well, I mean except you babe.”
    What a great woman you got there. If you said anything to her about herself down there, what would SHE do?

  108. I don’t understand the zealots on the anti-circ side of this argument.

    If you’re against circumcision, don’t have one for your son. But why do you feel the need to bash the people who do choose to go that route? It is possible for parents, such as myself, to research the topic and still choose circumcision. We’re not barbarians or engaging in “mutilation” or “torture.” I find it odd that circumcision detractors are this interested in my son’s penis in the first place.

    Mind your own business.

    • I find it odd that parents are concerned with their child’s sex organ when there is no medical need to mess with it. Why are parents so fixated on amputating part of their son’s penis?

      I sure wish someone had spoke up for me when I was born. I might still have all of my sex organ. Instead, I was circumcised. And, I am a son who does not like being circumcised.

    • So… is circumcising a girl (aka the removal of the clitoral hood- a direct analog to the foreskin) a “parent’s choice” too?

    • antimutilation says:

      Circumcision is violent and abusive, the people who practice it should be imprisoned like anyone else that commits sexual assault on a child. People who defend a parent’s “right” to choose have no morals.

    • antimutilation says:

      “I find it odd that circumcision detractors are this interested in my son’s penis in the first place.”

      I find it odd that you would care what your infant son’s penis looks like enough that you have it surgically altered for aesthetic reasons. I find it odd that people who sanction child sexual abuse and incest such as yourself aren’t in prison.

    • antimutilation says:

      “I find it odd that circumcision detractors are this interested in my son’s penis in the first place.”

      I find it odd that you would speak at length (no pun intended) about your son’s PRIVATE (your word) parts on a PUBLIC forum while inviting comments about it, then accuse others for responding to a topic that YOU have no problem bringing up yourself.

      If you don’t remember what you wrote see here: http://www.daddyfiles.com/2008/11/06/blasphemy/

      If you’re going to throw accusations around try not to be a total hypocrite, “Daddy.”

      “Mind your own business.”

      Don’t put your private business on your public blog for the world to see if you don’t want other people to mind it. Whine a little more about the criticism you invite upon yourself you child mutilating freak.

      • Thank you for putting the lunacy and idiocy from the anti-circ zealots on full display for everyone to see. You’d be wise to realize there’s a way to argue for something without letting everyone know you’re a deranged pyschopath.

        I didn’t circumcise my son “for no reason.” After doing some research, I found that the removal of the foreskin provided a 50% reduction in HIV transmission, a threefold reduction in human papillomavirus (HPV) infections in female partners of circumcised men (HPV can cause cervical cancer), and lower rates of syphilis and chlamydia, which causes sterility and is the main sexually transmitted disease among teenagers. Circumcised infants were also roughly 10 times less likely to suffer urinary tract infections and the high fevers associated with them. And circumcision virtually eliminates serious penile cancers, which invade about 1 in 100,000 uncircumcised men.

        Granted, the chances of penile cancer are very low. And I considered the alleged risks of circumcision as well. But being circumcised myself, I have no issues with sensitivity or sexual performance. My parents are loving people who made the same choice, not “sex criminals” or child mutilators. To paint everyone with that broad brush is stupid and dangerous.

        I’m a good parent. My son is happy and healthy. To claim that I should be in jail for child abuse just shows how ridiculously ignorant you are. I hope you don’t have children, because I can’t imagine them growing up to be well-adjusted members of society with a lunatic like yourself guiding them.

        • Pretty much every one of those “justifications” (or very similar ones) also applies to clitoral-hood removal in girls. So I ask again, would that be justification for performing that procedure on an infant girl?

          Yes or No?

        • antimutilation says:

          “After doing some research, I found that the removal of the foreskin provided a 50% reduction in HIV transmission, a threefold reduction in human papillomavirus (HPV) infections in female partners of circumcised men (HPV can cause cervical cancer), and lower rates of syphilis and chlamydia, which causes sterility and is the main sexually transmitted disease among teenagers.”

          So you did this to protect your infant son from STDs? Do you plan for your infant son to be sexually active? That’s the only way that makes sense. There are these things called condoms, though I suppose they don’t make them small enough for a three year old.

        • antimutilation says:

          “I hope you don’t have children, because I can’t imagine them growing up to be well-adjusted members of society with a lunatic like yourself guiding them.”

          The only lunatic here is the guy that gutted his week old son’s penis to protect him against STDs. Again, I must assume you plan on your son being sexually active as an infant for this to make any sense.

        • antimutilation says:

          “child mutilators”

          By the plain dictionary definition of “mutilation,” that’s what circumcision is.

          -source: dictionary.com

          “And I considered the alleged risks of circumcision as well.”

          One of those risks is death (even riskier than penile cancer!) I’m glad you’re such a loving parent that you risked your infant son’s life so that he may be protected against some STDs, which he really doesn’t need because I’m assuming in your locale it is illegal to have sexual relations with someone that young. What are your local laws on infant sexual intercourse?

      • I hate my circumcision. Circumcision is the worst tease in the world. I would get excited by myself or with a girl and once the sexual energy reached the circumsized part of my penis it was like “woops, sorry, what you are looking for is not here.” I can have an orgasm stimulating other areas of the penis such as the head or base but I am painfully aware that I am lacking something vital. Stimulating that area only works when it is aggressive, otherwise the nerves don’t respond. Rough aggressive sex is not emotionally satisfying. I am angry that this part of my body is numb.

        @Dean Blake, J. D. – Orgasm is neurological, don’t confuse it with your brain. If you amputate or damage the sex organs you can not have sex.
        People who really want circumcision for religious or social custom reasons say that the procedure did not adversely affect sexually function. In most cases the penis still functions and orgasm occurs minus the fore skin. These people have strong religious convictions or deeply rooted social customs compelling them to think they are supposed to hate or sacrifice that part of their body so they are perfectly happy when it is gone. Ask any one who had circumcision forced on them, or tricked into having the procedure by bogus medical advice and they will tell you they hate it. Many are enraged.
        http://www.circumstitions.com/Resent.html

        @Denis – It is not cosmetic it is mutilation. It removes 70 percent of the erogenous nerves and the protection and the glide function that is supposed to be a part of the penis. The glans then becomes much less sensistive.

      • I hate my circumcision. Circumcision is the worst tease in the world. I would get excited by myself or with a girl and once the sexual energy reached the circumsized part of my penis it was like “woops, sorry, what you are looking for is not here.” I can have an orgasm stimulating other areas of the penis such as the head or base but I am painfully aware that I am lacking something vital. Stimulating that area only works when it is aggressive, otherwise the nerves don’t respond. Rough aggressive sex is not emotionally satisfying. I am angry that this part of my body is numb.

        @Dean Blake, J. D. – Orgasm is neurological, don’t confuse it with your brain. If you amputate or damage the sex organs you can not have sex.
        People who really want circumcision for religious or social custom reasons say that the procedure did not adversely affect sexually function. In most cases the penis still functions and orgasm occurs minus the fore skin. These people have strong religious convictions or deeply rooted social customs compelling them to think they are supposed to hate or sacrifice that part of their body so they are perfectly happy when it is gone. Ask any one who had circumcision forced on them, or tricked into having the procedure by bogus medical advice and they will tell you they hate it. Many are enraged.
        http://www.circumstitions.com/Resent.html

        @Denis – It is not cosmetic it is mutilation. It removes 70 percent of the erogenous nerves and the protection and the glide function that is supposed to be a part of the penis. The glans becomes much less sensitive as a result.

  109. There are so many things wrong with this, it’s hard to know where to start.

    It’s not a “snip”, it’s surgery. Sugar is *not* “anesthesia”. Foreskin is not “weird”. (I’ve been with enough women in the USA and Australia to know)

    drops in male circumcision since 1950:
    USA: from 90% to 57% (33% according to a recent CDC study)
    Canada: from 48% to 17%
    UK: from 35% to about 5% (about 1% among non-Muslims)
    Australia: 90% to 12.6% (“routine” circumcision has recently been *banned* in public hospitals in all states except one, so the rate will now be a lot lower)
    New Zealand: 95% to below 3% (mostly Samoans and Tongans)
    South America and Europe: never above 5%

  110. antimutilation says:

    Hey Cole Gamble,

    This article stating your son was circumcised was originally published Jan 26, 2009, but on your personal blog published Sept 4, 2009 you state “Dalton pinched the tip of his foreskin and yanked it out six inches.”

    You can read what you wrote here since you may not remember: http://funwithcole.wordpress.com/2009/09/04/a-touchy-subject-or-dont-fear-my-sons-penis/

    So what is it Cole? Did you have him circumcised at your wife’s behest, or is he still tugging at his foreskin? Did he manage to restore his foreskin in 9 months? Or are you just trolling for readers over a controversial subject?

    I’m interested to hear your explanation on this. I have your blog post archived so don’t bother deleting it trying to backtrack.

    • I’m flattered you stalked me. It’s just the kind of disturbing/validating bit of zest I needed. Because you worked so hard to make a point you feel is a real doozy of a crushing blow, I’m going to let you in on a secret about the publishing industry: we’re not required to publish in chronological order. In fact, we often don’t have control over when a piece is published. Or we are inspired to write a piece about something that happened recently, then later we decide (or an editor asks you) to work on a subject pertaining to events that happened longer ago. You know who else writes personal stories out of chronological order? That phony David Sedaris…and every essayist that ever lived.

      But it’s cute that you archived that. That way you’ll have something to show when the cyber police show up to crack this case.

      • antimutilation says:

        Don’t be flattered, reading things that you have published online is far from stalking. Don’t you want people to read your writings, or is it your objective to be as obscure as possible? Anyway I was referring to the post above mine by Joseph4GI. There also more holes in your story:

        “Dr. Thompson wielded not a scalpel, but a bell-shaped chunk of plastic, a length of string, and a sugar packet. “The anesthesia,” he said, referring to the sugar. He positioned himself over Dalton, blocking my view, and went to work. With an end of string in either hand, Thompson wrapped the thread around my son’s groin area as though flossing Dalton’s junk. Dalton made nary a peep. After only a few minutes, the doctor stepped aside with a flourish to reveal his magic trick.”

        I’ve seen many circs and I have never heard of a child making “nary a peep” using only sugar as an anesthetic. Every one I’ve seen the kid screams his head off even before the cutting begins. Your son would have to be a near mute.

      • Joseph4GI says:

        So here you are, shirking any responsibility to what you publish.

        What the hell is this “chronological order” BS?

        Whatever order you wish to put it in, your story makes absolutely no sense.

        So you went to circumcise your son as a newborn.

        But then in another episode of your son’s life, he’s pulling out his foreskin six inches?

        Really?

        Whatever “chronological order” you put it in, your story is a fraud.

        You are a fraud, sir.

        Babies don’t make “nary a peep” when their foreskin is being cut to fit the plastibell over it.

        Newborns don’t squeeze their “undescended testicles” or pull their foreskin out 6 inches, nor do they giggle while doing it.

        For a fictional writer, you don’t even seem to know about male anatomy.

        The Good Men Project would do best to throw you and your who-know-if-he’s-really-circumcised-son OUT.

        I don’t believe a single word in this piece of fiction.

        You’re a complete asshole for writing this completely fake crap.

  111. Posted on September 4, 2009 on “Fun With Cole” (Cole’s blog. Is this your blog, Cole?)

    …Having a baby boy, we’ve come to find, is different than the demands of a baby girl. Adding that XY contribution, Dalton has brought a certain special brand of maleness to our home, especially lately for Dalton has taken to grabbing his junk.

    A lot.

    It’s not like he gently bobbles his genitals, he reaches down, takes a fist full and gives the sack a hearty squeezing like he’s making juice. The first time he did it nearly knocked Nicole out. “My god, doesn’t that hurt him?!” As a guy, I would think so. I know his testicles haven’t descended, but still. Clearly by the look on his face, though, it didn’t hurt. And I mean he throttles his scrotum like it owes him money.

    “No,” I assured her, “he’s in no pain.” Dalton continued to massage and knead his stuff while darting his eyes back and forth between mommy and daddy, looking for approval. Nicole’s concern shifted to disdain. “Gross, he’s such a man.” In response, Dalton pinched the tip of his foreskin and yanked it out six inches. He giggled. This seemed to please him a great deal, so he yanked at it again and again like a man struggling to start his lawn mower. Now I had to cover my eyes, all the while sputtering “Totally natural. Can’t hurt a bit.””

    Posted on January 18, 2011 on ” The Good Men Project”

    “…there was never any doubt in my mind that, should my wife and I ever produce a miniature me, he would also go uncircumcised. We would leave his little thing alone. No snip-snip, just like Daddy.

    Until, that is, the late-September day when we brought our newborn son home from the hospital. It was chilly, and the tightly wrapped baked potato of a boy felt warm in the crook of my arm.

    “We’re getting Dalton circumcised,” my wife said as she fastened the potato into his car seat.”

    So your son was both a newborn in September, as well as old enough to “grab his junk,” junk with foreskin at that.

    Really?

    Uh, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE???

  112. I seriously wonder if this article is even real.

    I want to repost something that

    Amy Barton posted above:

    It’s … rather incongruous with this post:http://funwithcole.wordpress.com/2009/09/04/a-touchy-subject-or-dont-fear-my-sons-penisCole first posted this account of his son’s circumcision in January of 2009, so I’m not sure how his son still had a foreskin to grab in September.

    Hmm…

    Cole, are you just trying to yank people’s chains here because you know the subject of circumcision gets attention?

  113. There’s an interesting theme running throughout the comments here, both from the women and the men: that I should have been a “man” and overrode my wife’s decision. How exactly do you “man up” to your wife? Get aggressive? Bully her? Intimidate her? I think it’s fairly sexist to think that since I’m the man in the relationship, I get final say and the implications are somewhat disturbing. In any debate someone gets there way and someone doesn’t. As I showed in the article, my wife was adamant, but according to people here, I should have “had balls” and and put my wife in her place. Guys, how do you put your wives “in their place.” Women, how does your man “act like a man” to make sure your opinion always comes second to his?

    • Not sure if my previous comment went through, but I had essentially the same point. Since there was such a strong religious component to this, Christianity and the Bible demand that you are the head of household, you are the one that makes the ultimate decision and you are responsible. Don’t beat yourself up about it now though, your son will always be able to restore his mutilated penis, albeit not to full sensation as you or I have.

      The problem with the whole religious component to this too is that circumcision seems to be a Lucifer’s trick to defile God’s creation in his image. As with body modification, altering one’s body or properly caring and treating it with respect is an automatic VOID on the ticket to heaven.

      Not everyone can go to heaven, or it won’t be heaven, rather more like hell.

    • This is how you deal with this situation with your wife. You act like two rational human beings. You don’t make it a win-lose contest. You are faced with two options; circumcise your son or leave him intact. The first option involves permanently and irrevocably removing, with quite a bit of pain, a sexually useful part of his penis. This decision, if your son decides as he gets older that he wishes he had a foreskin, cannot be fixed later. it cannot be undone.

      The second option involves leaving everything as is until such time as your son can weigh in on the issue, if it is even an issue at that time, and if he wants to be circumcised, he can have it done. Its not too late. If he decides that he likes his foreskin, All is well.

      Two rational adults would have to choose the second option since a mistake in choice with the first option could not be corrected, whereas a mistake with the second option can easily be addressed.
      This is the thought process that two rational persons would engage in. Emotional issues like the weirdness factor and the opinions of outside parties would be relegated to insignificance.

      Unfortunately, most parental decision to circumcise are made on an emotional level, not on a rational basis. Doctors sew seeds of fear–diseases, cleanliness, rejection by peers or girlfriends–to sell the ignorant parents on the value of the surgery. The doctors always win with a circumcision. They collect their fee and the baby cannot complain.

      The baby loses, and the parents, also, lose when the boy grows up and resents the parents decision to have him cut.

    • You don’t get it. It’s not about “putting her in her place” It’s about the fact that you allowed your wife, against your better judgement, to have a medically unnecessary procedure done on your infant son, for no other reason than she thinks “it looks weird.” You allowed someone to lop off a perfectly good part of your son’s body because of hypothetical horror stories about how the other kids “will make fun of him.” Despite the fact that such stories didn’t jibe with your own experiences, (and mine incidentally.)

      This isn’t about you putting your wife in her place, it’s about her putting you in yours, as the “secondary parent.” The line about her promise to let you “override” her decision proves this. Because of the fact you have to “override” her, and the fact that you both know it’ll never happen. You’re not equal parents- She’s the Parent, you’re just her helper.

      But hey, if you’re cool with that, great. I just hope your son doesn’t come to resent you for it. As so many men have.

    • You are a pathetic little man. Instead of addressing any of the facts that anyone has made regarding circumcision, the only thing that bothers you is that people are calling you a pussy. My god, I hope you and your wife are never able to reproduce ever again. You’ll probably remove your next’s sons balls, because you don’t have any.

    • It’s not about having the final say because you’re the man in the relationship; it’s about standing up for what you think is RIGHT.

      The word of the day is INTEGRITY.

      No, you do not “man up” to your wife, “get aggressive,” or “bully her,” or “intimidate her”: THAT would be sexist. But essentially, this is exactly what has happened to YOU.

      It’s about deciding what’s right, making a decision and STICKING TO IT. It is about having the final say because you know in your heart to be RIGHT, NOT because you happen to have two testicles. It’s NOT about merely “getting your way.”

      What a sad, strange way to look at it.

      “I hope I can raise Dalton to make his own decisions. I want him to have the freedom to come to his own conclusions about life’s major issues like religion, politics, and his own body.”

      How can you ever hope to teach your son something that cannot do yourself?

      What are you going to teach your son? That his decisions own decisions, his own conclusions, his own religion, his own politics, his own body doesn’t matter?

      That he should acquescience to his wife and to “what others will say?”

      That the best thing is to do whatever you need to to “fit in?”

      I must say, how absolutely pathetic.

      “The reality, however, is until he can speak for himself, Nicole and I are calling the shots.”

      No, the reality is that Nicole calls the shots; you’re just the sperm incubator.

      The reality is that there was never a “shot” to call; “to circumcise or not” is a bogus dilemma, and your doctor took advantage of your and your stupid wife.

      Congratulations. I hope your son doesn’t grow up to hate you and step all over you like your wife has.

      If you were my father I’d hate your guts for life. Once I hit college age I’d never want to see you again for the rest of my life.

    • Amy Barton says:

      Either parent has the right of veto when it comes to child abuse. Your wife has the right to call a halt if you’re intent on pulling Dalton’s toenails out. This is no different.

  114. Hello Cole,

    Your actions, as you’ve detailed here, are very disturbing. Sounds like you had a half a spine to stand up for your beliefs and your son’s human rights and then … what happened? Where you so bullied by others, and now your wife that you lost your will to protect your son? Was it easier to keep the peace than actually have a good deep discussion about this with your wife, and together look at this issue before doing anything irreversible to your child?

    If anything this article shows how pervasive genital mutilation of children is and some of the dynamics behind why it happens.

    Your son will grow up with a mind of his own. Will you and your wife be able to maintain a shroud of ignorance around this? Hardly, you’ve put this story out there for everyone including your son to see.

    From my perspective, now getting on in years, with some experience looking at human relationships, it strikes me that this may be a wedge in your relationship, both with your wife and your son.

    What a shame you didn’t “have the balls” even though you were lucky enough to have a foreskin.

  115. Well, let’s see undergo painful elective surgery that doesn’t really have a purpose (for me anyway) just so I don’t look “weird”

    OR

    Find a decent woman that actually LIKES the way I look…

    gee… decisions…

    • Bytheby… have you scheduled your own circ’ing yet? I mean, that way Junior can still Look Like Daddy right? And certainly if such a proceedure was actually neccessary, you’d want it done too, yeah?

      After all if men wre meant to have foreskins… we’d be born with them, right?

      ..wait a sec…

  116. You know what the funniest and most tragic part of this is? Circumcision rates for children in the US is down to 36% now and dropping. Your son will be a part of the minority, he will be the “weird” one according to your wife’s “logic”.

  117. Shouldn’t the medical statistics be in the article and the opinions in the comments, rather than vice versa?

  118. This would be funny if it were not so sad. When this kid grows up, most of the males in the US and Canada will have a natural penis. Also, isn’t it obvious that it is better to be the natural guy, with all the pleasure parts, amongst cut guys than the cut guy, missing important parts of his penis, amongst natural guys.

    It is also amusing that this guy bought into this backwater mentality. Immature silly girls may think a flacid penis that looks like an errect penis (cut) is more appealing than a natural flacid penis, but who cares. Women tend to not get into looking at a flacid penis– don’t they usually see it erect? WOMEN enjoy sex more with a natural penis, the way we evolved to have sex. More cut guys have premature ejaculation issues (the scar triggers orgasm) and many cut guys have problems having an orgasm as the reach 40, 50 60. Timing orgasm is much easier with all of the parts. ED sets in much earlier for cut. If Cole was really concerned with his kids sex life, he made exactly the wrong choice.

  119. Pussy whipped!
    There was only one circumised boy in my class at school and when we talked about it years later he said that when he was 5 his step mum demanded that him and his dad get circumcised or she would leave them.
    I believe Men who cave in to womens demands are weak annd shouldn’t have kids, relationships are about equality and respect, trampling over a partners oppinion is controling and crossing the line, and very wrong especially when it comes to a sons human rights

  120. Joseph4GI says:

    I already posted this above, but I thought I’d do it again, just for good measure:

    I often hear parents and doctors talk about the Plastibell as this “new and improved device,” and that “since there is no cutting,” it’s also “risk-free.”

    I think that it’s only fair that readers know the truth.

    The following links show complications specifically due to the Plastibell.

    WARNING: Not for the squeamish.

    http://circumstitions.com/death.html#blocked

    http://circumstitions.com/Restric/Botched4ga.html

    http://circumstitions.com/Restric/Botched7ex.html

    (for the last link, scroll all the way down to “Plastic Bell Horrors”)

    You tell ME if PlastiBell circumcisions are “cut-less” and “risk-free.”

    If this story is true, then THESE are the risks that that poor child was put through because a spine-less father couldn’t stand up to an idiot mother.

  121. Joseph4GI says:

    When a doctor performs the wrong surgery on a patient, that doctor could be held liable for malpractice.

    When a doctor knowingly deceives a patient into having medical treatment, especially surgery, he doesn’t need, that doctor could be held liable for medical fraud.

    Here’s the bottom line:

    Without any medical or clinical indication, how is it that doctors are performing circumcisions in healthy, non-consenting individuals, let alone giving parents any kind of a “choice?”

    The foreskin is not a birth defect. Neither is it is a congenital deformity, or a genetic anomaly, such as a cleft or a sixth finger. The foreskin is normal, natural, healthy tissue that is found in all boys at birth. It is not “extra,” but standard equipment. It is as intrinsic in the male, as the labia, clitoris and clitoral hood are in the female.

    Circumcision is the deliberate destruction of a normal, functional part of the penis. Unless there is actual medical indication for it, circumcising a healthy newborn is essentially genital mutilation.

    So how is it that parents can even feel entitled to a procedure that doctors can’t technically be performing? How is it that this mother thought she was entitled to doing this to her child who wasn’t suffering any kind of medical condition that necessitated surgery?

    There are no words that I can say to describe this horrible, disgusting situation.

    First of all, that mother. How could she let, no, ASK someone to deliberately cut off part of her healthy son’s genitals?

    How is it that that father, who is himself intact, couldn’t have the balls to stand up for his son?

    That father has no backbone; he should have taken his son and left that woman for the controlling, abusive woman that she is.

    “The reality, however, is until he can speak for himself, Nicole and I are calling the shots. Mistakes will be made. This is a parent’s burden. I can only hope he will learn to forgive us.”

    The reality is that unless there was an actual medical or clinical indication, there wasn’t any kind of “decision” to make.

    But blaming the parents is all really too easy.

    We must ask, ultimately, who was the one that actually strapped the child down and mutilated his genitals?

    Without a clinical or medical indication, how is it that this person who calls himself a doctor could even DO this, let alone give parents any kind of a “choice?”

    Circumcision is abuse on so many levels.

    It is first and foremost, the abuse of a healthy child who is unable to give his consent, but it is also abuse of parental naivete. It is professional abuse for doctors to be confronting parents with the non-existent dilemma of “the big decision.”

    Without a medical indication, what “decision” was there to make?

    How is it that he actually went THROUGH with this, knowing that there was absolutely no medical reason to do this?

    How is it that doctors, with their big credentials and years of study are suddenly too stupid for their own jobs?

    How is it that all of a sudden this is something the “parents” have to decide?

    Have you ever went to a restaurant where you paid a waiter to have you go get your own plate? Or paid the owner to have you go to the back to cook your own food?

    How is it then, that parents go to the doctor, and the doctor has THEM make the assessment?

    I can’t speak for the parents, but that DOCTOR should have known better than to proceed with this in the first place.

    It is medical fraud to be performing non-medical procedures on healthy, non-consenting individuals.

    That doctor is a charlatan. He is in the business of mutilating children.

    He took advantage of not only the child, but also his parents.

    What a shame that this father actually lacked the backbone to stand up for his own kid.

    But more than anything, what a shame that there are so-called “doctors” who are more than willing to take advantage of stupid parents.

    The fact that this is allowed to go on in this country is absolutely despicable.

    What a modern-day disgrace; a blight on modern medicine.

    When this child grows up to resent the fact that he was mutilated as a child, like so many men already have, what will his parents say?

    What will this father say?

    I know of men who have ended their relationship with their parents over this.

    I seriously hope this child doesn’t grow up to hate his father’s guts.

  122. Amy Barton says:

    I’m not wanting to rub salt – or sugar – into the wound, but this is a sticking point:

    “Except that Dr. Thompson wielded not a scalpel, but a bell-shaped chunk of plastic, a length of string, and a sugar packet. “The anesthesia,” he said, referring to the sugar. He positioned himself over Dalton, blocking my view, and went to work. With an end of string in either hand, Thompson wrapped the thread around my son’s groin area as though flossing Dalton’s junk. Dalton made nary a peep. After only a few minutes, the doctor stepped aside with a flourish to reveal his magic trick.”

    This is a Plastibell infant circumcision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=013PdUzvWpo
    As you can see, it most definitely involves cutting, not merely ‘magic tricks’ with string. It also involves tearing the foreskin from the glans it is adhered to. I have seen the Plastibell circumcision described as ‘new’ or ‘without cutting’, both of which are false. The non-retractable infant foreskin must be cut before the bell can be placed. After the bell placement and tying off, foreskin is cut from in front of the bell. There are greater risks of haemorrhage, infection and necrosis with the Plastibell, which was invented in 1950.

    That your doctor used only sugar, and described it as ‘anaesthesia’, shows his knowledge to be lacking. This was published in 2001 and the issue was publicised again last year: http://www.jfponline.com/Pages.asp?AID=2324&issue=September%202001&UID= Sugar is NOT an anaesthetic; not in infants, not in adults.

    Sorry, I don’t buy it Cole, and I suspect you don’t either. Instead of writing glib blogs about it, you could attempt to develop some real empathy for Dalton by undergoing your own circumcision with a lollipop as comfort, so that you have some small inkling of what he went through – minus the ripping, tearing and raw glans of course, since your foreskin has already separated. Dalton didn’t make a peep because he had gone into shock in an attempt to escape the most horrendous pain.

    • Joseph4GI says:

      Seriously, Amy.

      The Plastibell not only involves cutting, but the foreskin must first be ripped off from the glans.

      All this and Dalton made “nary a peep?” Really? When I’ve SEEN on videos that the child starts SHRIEKING even BEFORE the cutting starts, as the doctor uses a blunt instrument to pry the foreskin off the glans?

      All of this felled by sugar?

      “Magic trick?”

      Yeah. Knowing the facts makes me question the validity of this blog.

      Is this really a guilty father begging for pity?

      Or is it a thinly veiled Plastibell circumcision plug?

      For all we know this entire thread of posts might be much ado about NOTHING.

      Who IS this Cole guy? Is he even REAL?

      My mother always told me, “Of what you see, only believe half. Of what they tell you, believe NOTHING.”

      It’s best we move on.

      This may not even be REAL and here we are, getting all worked up.

    • Joseph4GI says:

      Circumcision sucks.

      Circumcision is a crime.

      Let’s work to convict the ones who keep doing it.

      That’s all there is to it.

      On to tomorrow…

  123. “foreskin is weird.” that’s why you allowed your son to be sliced? Really? You didn’t bother to give him the option to have it done if it embarassed him later. your a weak conformist. congratulations.

  124. You’ll be lucky if your son ever speaks to you again after reading this post. How cowardly of you to do this to him. If anyone were to get laughed at in the locker room (unlikely), it would be your son — U.S. infant male genital cutting rates dropped to 33% in 2009.

    Next time try doing a bit of research. Ugh.

    -Barefoot Intactivist

  125. Jay Hammers says:

    So, you married a bitch, you let her mutilate your son, and now you’re stuck with her.

    Well, at least until she divorces you in a few years.

    Good thing is you won’t have to look your son in the face and tell him what you let her do – because she’ll get custody.

    Cheers.

    • Oh, she will divorce him in a few years. He should have been a man, and told her he will not mutilate his son; now he has lost what little respect she likely still had for him. She now knows that if he will cave into having his son’s penis mutilation, he’ll cave into anything.

      Women do not find Yes Men dominate, therefor not sexually arousing.

      • Agreed, which leads to my question: how did this weak weasel attract this bitch in the first place? Also, if foreskins are so “weird” to her, why didn’t she reject him at first sight?

  126. Circumcision often causes an ulceration at the urethral opening (meatal ulceration), affecting 20% to 50% of all circumcised infants. In many cases, the opening narrows (meatal stenosis), although it may take years for the condition to be noticed. The normal urinary stream in the male is a spiraling ribbon. The urinary stream in meatal stenosis is needle-like, prolonged and frequently associated with discomfort.

    Circumcision also affects sexual pleasure. The inner layer of the foreskin produces smegma, which keeps the glans soft. Without its protective and moisturizing cover, the sensitive glans becomes dry and leathery, resembling skin instead of a mucous membrane. In addition to maintaining glans sensitivity, an intact, mobile foreskin also provides indirect stimulation during intercourse.

    http://www.canadiancrc.com/Circumcision_Genital_Mutilation_Male-Female_Children.aspx

  127. “Turns out I’m the freak, and she’d just learned to live with it.”

    Wow, just wow, I can’t believe this conversation about cutting infants genitals without their consent. All of the rationalization is based on women’s opinion.

    So, reverse the gender roles and write the same about cutting a young girls labia?

    You people are freaks, foreskin is natural.

    • Amy Barton says:

      Absolutely. I’m not sure what is ‘more attractive’ about a circumcised penis. If I may be radically offensive here, that’s like having a beauty contest in the burns ward.

      Having had personal experience with several of each, and having seen more photos than I can count, I feel somewhat qualified to comment on this. The intact penises I’ve seen have varied slightly in size, shape and foreskin length, but they’ve followed a basic pattern set down by genes – just as a finger will usually have a nail, three segments, two knuckles… The circumcised penis is prone to incredible variation, depending on things like how sharp the surgeon’s knife was and how much whiskey he drank the night before, whether the parents ran out of Vaseline, whether the boy was a ‘good healer’, resulting in something that resembles an Escher drawing. Like immersing that same finger in boiling water and trying to draw comparisons with another boiled finger. It’s an incredible risk you take when you let someone near your tiny child’s tenderest bits with a scalpel.

      But, shit, this is not about my opinion or anyone else’s. It’s about human rights, and why girls have them and boys don’t. I guess I should be glad my feminist foremothers were so successful. It’s just so Goddamn wrong.

  128. AM Burning says:

    A very sad story about a man with a foreskin but no balls….
    The baby-mama is absolutely a wicked woman. Bleh!

  129. I feel a tremendous pity for you that you were essentially bullied by your wife and her family into neglecting your son’s best interests.

    You, very sagely, state in your final paragraph that parents make mistakes. Yes, they do.

    It is an incredibly and unbelievably arrogant parent who thinks they can predict, with 100% accuracy, what their child’s opinion will be. Especially over something as serious as their sex life.

    So, bearing in mind that mistakes are likely to be made, what are we to do? We err on the side of caution. We choose to make the least bad possible mistake.

    We act in such a way that our mistake, if it turns out to be one, can be corrected. If you gamble that your child wants an intact penis, and you’re mistaken – he can have a circumcision. If you gamble that your child wants a circumcised penis, but are mistaken – what recourse have you left him? There is nothing he can do to correct your mistake.

    This is a tragedy for you, because you have been bullied into a decision that you knew wasn’t right – after all, having a foreskin never hurt you – why should it hurt your son? Even the peer-teasing argument is lost to proponents of circumcision now, as natural guys have become the majority in the US.

    I hope that if you have any future sons, you will have the strength to resist your wife’s brow-beating. There is nothing wrong with the natural penis. Your son was entitled to his entire body – not simply the bits that your wife thinks he ought to have. She, after all, is not going to be the one to miss out on the experience of a foreskin – he is, and his future partners are. I hope any future sons you have get the protection they deserve, and I hope you let your wife know how insensitive (to her son) her actions were. You,as a parent, should advocate for your child. So start advocating.

  130. This is actually going to be a big deal for my husband and I when we have a boy. However, I am actually on the no circumcision end while my husband is very much for circumcision.

    Until we actually have a boy, it’s hard to say how this will pan out. My husband actually feels very strongly about getting a boy circumsized, because of the reasons you mentioned: sexual partners, boys in the locker room, etc.

    But I’ve been with both types and honestly, I can’t tell the difference. Also, I know as a young girl, I was never trying to check out what other girls were packin and I can’t imagine teenage boys are all too excited to catch a glimpse of their classmates junk.

    This is a great post. Thank you for sharing1

    • Kimberly, it’s good to hear that you’re thinking of your son’s future.

      I hope you are able to gently remind your husband that the decision belongs to his son. Out of respect for your son, and the man he will one day grow up to be, no-one should be interfering with such a private organ – one in which men invest a great deal of their ego (as shown in the blog, where the slightest criticism from his wife caused him great distress).

      Perhaps your husband, as a circumcised man, needs to be gently informed about the process itself. It is, after all, not easy for a person (especially a man because of the burden society places on them to be “macho”) to accept that they were once vulnerable and powerless. Even harder to accept that, while in this vulnerable and powerless position, someone took a knife to their genitals (and yes, despite what the blog tries to portray, the “plastibell” circumcision still requires cutting, and still requires tearing the foreskin from the glans).

      There is a phenomenon in psychology wherein rather than accepting that they have been changed, people try to make themselves feel “normal” by enacting the same change onto others. Your husband may be attempting to assuage his own conflicted feelings about the state of his penis (which was chosen for him, I assume) by insisting that it is normal, better even. And what more proof of his conviction that his penis is the ideal than by selecting the same kind of penis for his son?

      I hope you remain true to your son’s best interests, and I hope that you can encourage your husband to come around to thinking about what’s best for his child. Best of luck!

  131. I didn’t have my son cut. When deciding this,my ex-wife and I also got the “weird” argument, and the one that other boys would make fun of him.

    This was my answer: “In my 30+ years of life as a straight man, I have never had a conversation that started with ‘It’s about how your c*ck.’ ” While funny, this was and remains absolutely true. I have never discussed another man’s cock, either with the c*ck’s owner, or with a third party about someone else’s c*ck. The “making fun” argument is overblown, as most young boys will do *anything* to avoid admitting that they noticed another boy’s penis.

  132. WOW is all i have to say. This is a sad case of a man with no backbone, and a VERY pushy wife. Why didnt you stand up for your child? Some one stood up for you, and you just laid down and took it while your wife wrote off all INTACT males (its not uncircumcised, any more then im undecapitated) I cant really write much more about this right now because this story blows my mind, and i just feel so sorry for that little boy, I will say thought that i dont think a Intact penis is weird, and i actually prefer it. Who wouldnt want to have sex with a man who has all of his working parts?? I know i do!!

  133. What a pity you didn’t look at any European websites, where a circumcised penis is considered to be a really weird and ugly “frankenpenis” And it really does, a vulgar head protruding above a scarred and shredded neck.

    There is little as ugly as a frankenpenis, and little as perfect and whole looking as a normal intact penis – and the great advantage, you just get born with a perfect penis – you go through hell to then suffer with a frankenpenis for the rest of your life.

    Shame on you intact Dad – your son deserved better.

  134. Firstly, before I begin to tear the OP apart, I’d like to say to the Urologist that MORE MEN DIE FROM CIRCUMCISION SURGERY THAN FROM PENILE CANCER. Do your research!

    And here we go, OP. I absolutely cannot believe that despite you being *partially* informed, you still chose to mutilate your son’s genitals. Most people do this because they believe it’s a hygiene issue (even though that argument has long been debunked), because they want their son’s to “look like dad” (which is insane, what kind of family stands around with their dicks out to compare?), that it reduces HIV and other std’s (which has also been debunked, considering countries with little to no circumcision rates have lower HIV rates than Americans, where circumcision is routinely done).

    No, your reason is because your obviously abusive, obviously superficial and bat shit insane WIFE told you that foreskin is weird. You were born with it! Your son was born with it! Do you tell her that perfectly normal, perfectly VITAL organs on her body are weird? Yes, the foreskin is a vital, genital organ. It has it’s purposes, just like a fingernail, just like an eyelid.

    Well, joke is on you, buddy. Because putting aside the fact that NO OTHER COUNTRY in the world circumcises, even YOUR country has declining rates. Your son, circumcised, will in fact be the MINORITY in the locker room. Only 33% of Americans are circumcising their sons, and we expect that rate to keep dropping. But you would have known that, if you had done ANY RESEARCH AT ALL.

    I hope your son hates you for this. Truly, I do. It is not uncommon for men to have life-long, emotional scars about having their genitals mutilated against their will. The men who go as far to restore it have a very expensive, long, painful journey (both emotionally and physically). And if your son falls into this category, I hope you still feel comfortable saying that it was *your* choice, not his.

    • Your response disgusts me Dawn. Out of the many, many men that I know, not a single one remembers getting circumsized. Shame on you for tearing into the author for this.

      This is a decision that is reached to between two parents (or one parent for the singles out there), and is, for the most part, a difficult decision. Regardless of what you think, it isn’t your choice. And if you want to inform people about it, then please, do so. Don’t circumsize your own son. Write about the cons of circumcision. Giving people information and knowledge is way more powerful than spewing shit all over a post.

      And why you would wish his son to hate him is beyond me. We have enough pain and hate and intolerance in this world…the last thing you need to do is WISH that his son hates him.

      • Kimberly,

        I am equally offended by your blindness at this point.

        You have, unknowingly, perhaps, exposed your own hypocrisy within your second paragraph.

        You are castigating Dawn for acting as though the choice is hers – when she is not. You say to her “it isn’t your choice”. Well, I can honestly and openly ask you: “So who’s choice is it?”

        And what could you honestly answer? It’s the parent’s choice? We all know, and are not too shy to acknowledge, that the penis is a sexual organ. The foreskin, similar to the clitoris, is almost EXCLUSIVELY sexual. Its primary role is pleasure during the sex act. The people who are going to have most contact with a man’s penis in this role, and thus have the most interest in him retaining his foreskin are: the man himself, and the man’s lovers.

        His parents will have absolutely no part to play in the life and function of his foreskin – the sexual, pleasurable role – so why should they make a decision over his sex life?

        The choice is not Dawn’s, of course. Neither is it a child’s parents. The choice belongs to one person, and one person alone – the person who, sadly in this example, has had his choice torn away from him. It was the opinion of this child that Dawn was trying to voice, I’m sure – the opinion that can’t be heard for years and years, and so is ignored, despite being the only opinion that matters.

      • Kimberly; you’re right, we do have enough pain in the world. So why, after waiting 9 months to have your *perfect* baby boy, you greet him with a nice hug, kiss, breast and oh, yeah, taking a chunk of his genitals. how nice. Don’t you think that hurts babies? Your perfect, whole son. But parents don’t think he’s perfect, because they see his foreskin as a defect. Despite all statistics, despite all research pointing circumcision to being a medically unnecessary procedure, they remove, without consent, a part of their child’s genitals.

        I will not take back what I said – Parents DESERVE to have their children hate them for this. They used their body as their own, made a permanent decision for them. A decision that kills between 100-300 babies PER YEAR. For what? Something as petty as trying to make a perfectly intact body seem weird.

        And just because YOU don’t know any men who regret having their foreskin removed, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Because they do. And they aren’t hard to find if you look for them.

      • Kimberly, have you ever wondered why the rape statistics and male abuser counts are so high in this good old country of ours? I certainly have.

        I wonder if the pre-cognizant memory, subconscious leftover residue, etc., so impacts certain men in such a deep, profound and lasting way that they react with sexual rage and physical violence on others presumed ‘weaker’ than themselves.

        • While I’m enjoying the conversation, let’s not equate circumcised men with rapists. You suggest men might rape because they’re angry about their cut penises? Let’s take a breath before we say anything silly or, you know, grossly offensive.

          • Amy Barton says:

            Anyway, to change the subject – when are you booked in for YOUR surgery, Cole?

            Yours is the penis that Nicole sees in a sexual context, unless there’s some bizarre Oedipus scenario playing out in your household.

          • Amy, that would be a Jocasta complex, not an Oedipus complex. Just so we get our Greek right…

            Cole, there’s nothing offensive about speculating that male aggression could result from subconscious memories of harm. We know that circumcision causes alteration in brain patterns, we know that it damages mother-child bonding, and we know that part of the motivation for it is masculinisation (ablating those “feminine” lips from the penis).

            It’s not a great leap to suggest that this could cause some subconscious resentment towards women who, as mothers, are often responsible for the decision to circumcise, and who themselves are protected from this terrible procedure.

            This in no way means “all circumcised men are rapists”, which wasn’t suggested anywhere.

  135. Our son is now 41 years old. When he was first born I had the discussion with my then wife about having him circumsized or not. She had worked in the Medical Profession (laboratory) for her working career. She strongly insisted that our son must be circumcised because she claimed that women whose husbands were not cut, got vaginal or other women’s cancer. I protested that it was a decision which our son should make when he was old enough. As usual, I lost that argument. I should ask him if he regrets his mother’s decision.
    Incidentally, when I was in junior high (7th and 8th grades) we were required to take showers in the large communal shower area. At that point we all wanted to see what the other guys had. In my group of 30 to 40 male classmates, only one was uncut. It looked kind of strange but we got over it. The guys with little weanies were the ones who got teased.

  136. This is so sad… I wish you could have been more of a voice for your son. There are many women out there with the opposite view your wife has, I am one of them. My husband is circumcised, there was no way we were doing that to our son! There are many women who feel as I do http://www.facebook.com/womenarevictimstoo

  137. What terrible reasons to mutilate a baby’s genitalia. There’s not even the pretense that this is being done for medical reasons, or even the excuse that it’s part of a venerable and ancient tradition. No, it’s being done so that he won’t be bullied by teenage boys, so he won’t be considered a freak by the kind of people – people like his maternal grandfather, sadly – who look for reasons to ostracise and humiliate anyone who is different, even if the difference is only that he has not had unnecessary cosmetic surgery on his genitals.
    A culture where this is the norm has problems that cannot be fixed by mangling babies’ penises, and a father who allows himself be cajoled into acting against his better judgement and against his own son’s best interest has let his son – and himself – down.

  138. There are some tribes in Africa that consider clitoris to be “weird”, so it is amputated. I wonder if an adult woman would think her clitoris is “weird” and accept cutting it off.

    Maybe cutting off the foreskin should be a decision left to an adult male to take for homself, if he wants so. I have a foreskin, I’m an adult, I would not cut it off if my girlfriend would think it’s strange. My girlfriend has a clitoris, by the way, and we’re both Europeans. In Europe, cutting away parts of somebody’s genitalia is considered very unpolite – it seems we think different than the Americans… or some African tribes, for that matter.

  139. I have six words for you. Take your son. Leave your wife. She is abusive. If you were a woman, with a husband of African or Middle Eastern origin who found your intact labia unattractive and wanted your daughter circumcised, I would tell you exactly the same thing. Unfortunately, many readers here will be blinded by cultural bias.
    As to the ‘urologist’ – it’s a wonder you didn’t get into proctology, because you’re adept at talking out your arse. Penile cancer, rarer than male breast cancer – and we don’t remove boys’ breast buds at birth – can and does occur in circumcised men, so either you’re ignorant or you’re lying. High rates of circumcision do not correlate with lower rates of penile cancer. The best way to prevent penile cancer is to not smoke. You’re also strangely silent on meatal stenosis, which occurs almost exclusively in circumcised boys – 9% of them.

    • Mike Welch says:

      Thank you Amy. Looking at this from the viewpoint of female circumcision is very telling. I too am appalled at the wife, who waited until the son was born, before raising her disgust with the male foreskin. This was a conversation that should have started long before the child was born.

      Dad got railroaded (but ultimately wimped out) and now it is the son who pays the price.

      • Amy Barton says:

        I’m aware that many people reading this are angry with this father, that he lacked a spine. I feel some sympathy for him. Not as much as I do for his son, who was utterly innocent and helpless in all of this and will bear the scars for the rest of his life, but sympathy nonetheless.

        An African woman with intact genitalia who was bullied by her husband into circumcising her daughter would be shown some sympathy. She would be seen as vulnerable, a victim in all of this too. I think we need to be careful in our expectations of men, and realise that they too can be bullied and manipulated. Vulnerability isn’t restricted only to women and to ‘other’ cultures.

        This father was shamed into feeling dirty, a freak, about his own perfectly normal genitalia. Shamed by the people who should have loved and respected him. Shamed to the point that he would cut these most sensitive of parts from the body of his precious newborn son. This is an absolute tragedy for this family.

    • two thumbs up, Amy!

  140. Niiiiice… is elective surgery really the best strategy for dealing with kids teasing each other for being different? How about breast implants for 12 year olds next

    • “The real issue resided in our making a major decision for Dalton without his consent—I never wanted to be that kind of father. I hope I can raise Dalton to make his own decisions. I want him to have the freedom to come to his own conclusions about life’s major issues like religion, politics, and his own body. The reality, however, is until he can speak for himself, Nicole and I are calling the shots. Mistakes will be made. This is a parent’s burden. I can only hope he will learn to forgive us.”

      On Children
      Kahlil Gibran

      Your children are not your children.
      They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
      They come through you but not from you,
      And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

      You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
      For they have their own thoughts.
      You may house their bodies but not their souls,
      For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
      which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
      You may strive to be like them,
      but seek not to make them like you.
      For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

      You are the bows from which your children
      as living arrows are sent forth.
      The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
      and He bends you with His might
      that His arrows may go swift and far.
      Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
      For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
      so He loves also the bow that is stable.

      • Amy Barton says:

        Gibran always put it better than I could.

        The problem is, Dalton cannot forgive Cole until Cole apologises for the wrongness he inflicted upon him. This, unfortunately, is how it starts, and continues throughout the generations – until this heinous practice is outlawed. Dalton – who will be raised by his mother to think foreskins are disgusting – will cut his own sons. Ostensibly it will be to ‘look like Dad’, but really, he will be desperately trying to affirm that what was done to him was right. His son’s son’s will do the same. Cole has potentially begun a tradition of infant torture and sexual dysfunction within his family.

        Cole, take a leaf out of Marilyn Milos’ – founder and director of ‘NOCIRC’ – book and apologise to your son once he is old enough to understand. Tell him you were a coward. Beg of him to ignore his mother and leave his own children intact. Tell him he can restore – some of the lost sensation – and support him in it.

        The internet is potentially forever. Don’t be remembered as the man who had a foreskin but lacked a spine or a heart. Mistakes are made – but don’t waste the rest of your life standing in support of your wrongness.

  141. Frank Mundo says:

    Cole,

    I think the “loss of sensitivity” issue is overplayed in building the case against circumcision. Do you know of any reports done by “before and after” guys? Would you consider volunteering… and get back to us? Kind of amusing… considering all the concern with “lack of staying power.” Seems like a little less “sensitivity” would be a feature appreciated by all…

    Every boy, certainly by the age of 8 or 10 is aware of others who are circumcised and uncircumcised and it doesn’t seem to make much difference. Remarkably some women are not in the know (but you’d think if they’d had any exposure to art or photography they’d have some insight.

    My son (circumcised to “match dad”) was given a bath with his uncircumcised cousin by my Aunt when she was babysitting. When we returned, she asked (in horror) what had happened to my nephew, he’d lost part of his penis.. was it an accident? Go figure.

    • Yes, actually, the sensitivity issue can be put to rest. In the last few months alone, I’ve interviewed several men who were circumcised as adults, and they have all confirmed the same thing— the circumcision did cause a decrease in sensitivity and also decreased their overall sexual satisfaction.

      You asked for some before and after cases, and now you have your answer. I hope this helps inform you and that moving forward, you will honestly and objectively understand that circumcision does in fact reduce sensitivity.

      All you have to do is ask a man who has experienced it and he’ll tell you.

      • As a man circumcised as an adult, it’s news to me! I haven’t experienced any loss of sensitivity.

        It would probably be a surprise to the 1,391 volunteers in Krieger’s study, 64% of whom said their penis was “much more sensitive” after being circumcised. Ref: Krieger JN, Mehta SD, Bailey RC, Agot K, Ndinya-Achola JO, Parker C, Moses S. Adult male circumcision: effects on sexual function and sexual satisfaction in Kisumu, Kenya. J Sex Med. 2008 Nov;5(11):2610-22

        • This depends on the length of time following the procedure. Research into circumcision is notoriously biased – people are attempting to justify the procedure, so don’t report bad results, and report pretty much everything in a positive light, they also don’t follow up properly if they think the results of the follow-up will be bad for their case. There’s also a selection bias in candidates, because men obviously volunteer because they WANT to be circumcised – thus they’re likely to report positive results anyway.

          Immediately following circumcision, the glans is still sensitive, because it has benefitted from being covered by the foreskin. This exposure makes it temporarily more sensitive, but the body can’t cope with constant stimulation, so it grows a thicker skin over the glans, gradually making it less and less sensitive.

          Other studies have shown similar numbers of men who say that tey regret their circumcision, including very powerful descriptions from men who rate intact sex as a 10, circumcised sex a mere 3, and restored sex as a 7. There are many reports of men who are disatisfied with circumcision, so it’s naive and risky to say “well, these guys have no problem, so it must be okay”. The voices of those saying they’re happy with their circumcision are no more important than the voices of those saying they wish they were intact.

          • “the body can’t cope with constant stimulation, so it grows a thicker skin over the glans, gradually making it less and less sensitive.”

            Actually, studies have long-since disproven that hypothesis.

            Szabo and Short published the only study of keratinisation of the glans in the literature, finding no differences between circumcised and uncircumcised males.

            Five studies have investigated the sensitivity of the glans by circumcision status. With one exception, all studies found no statistically significant differences. The exception was Sorrells et al., who claimed to find that the glans of the circumcised male was less sensitive; however, when their data were reanalysed by Waskett and Morris (disclosure: I’m the primary author), it was shown that there were no statistically significant differences.

            “Other studies have shown similar numbers of men who say that tey regret their circumcision”

            I was addressing Nathan’s claims regarding sensitivity, not satisfaction as such, but it’s interesting to note that almost every study has found very high levels of satisfaction among circumcised males.

            Refs:
            Szabo R, Short RV. How does male circumcision protect against HIV infection? BMJ. 2000 Jun 10;320(7249):1592-4.
            Masters, W.H.; Johnson, V.E. (1966). Human Sexual Response. Toronto; New York: Bantam Books. ISBN 0-553-20429-7. p189-91
            Bleustein, Clifford B.; Haftan Eckholdt, Joseph C. Arezzo and Arnold Melman (April 26-May 1, 2003). “Effects of Circumcision on Male Penile Sensitivity”. American Urological Association 98th Annual Meeting. Chicago, Illinois.
            Bleustein CB, Fogarty JD, Eckholdt H, Arezzo JC, Melman A. Effect of neonatal circumcision on penile neurologic sensation. Urology. 2005 Apr;65(4):773-7.
            Payne K, Thaler L, Kukkonen T, Carrier S, Binik Y. Sensation and sexual arousal in circumcised and uncircumcised men. J Sex Med. 2007 May;4(3):667-74. Epub 2007 Apr 6.
            Sorrells ML, et al. Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis. BJU Int. 2007 Apr;99(4):864-9
            Waskett JH, Morris BJ. Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis. BJU Int. 2007 Jun;99(6):1551-2

          • Amy Barton says:

            Jake! How nice to have you here. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Jake Waskett and his friend Brian Morris are two rather notorious circumfetishists who are linked to circlist and circinfo.net, who troll parenting groups, regularly edit every Wiki page that has anything to do with circumcision, including the one on foreskin – why adopt a page about something you so utterly detest? I don’t understand. Anyhow – which one of your friends was it again, Jake, who told me I should circumcise my stillborn son? Ah, not to worry.

            The problem is Jake, that you are one hell of a liar. Studies are great to have – especially ones which can be relied upon – but to claim that keritanisation doesn’t occur, or that there is no difference between the circumcised and intact glans is complete and utter bullshit. You’re counting on American women having never seen an intact penis – which used to be a fairly safe bet, and probably still is, to some extent.

            Thing is, Jake, I don’t particularly need a degree in pseudoscience to know what an utter pile of steaming horse shit your assertion is. I’ve sucked on more than one of each variety, and I can tell you that the circumcised glans is about as much like the glans of intact man as my mouth is like my arsehole.

            I can tell my mouth from my arsehole Jake. Can you honestly claim the same?

            A cocksucker I may be, but I can live with that. I hope you can live with the screams of the babies who bled and/or died at your behest. Do they interrupt your nightly wank, Jake, or do they add to the pleasure?

            This is Sorrells’ 2006 anyway, for anyone interested: http://www.nocirc.org/touch-test/bju_6685.pdf

            This is a visual comparison of circumcised and intact penises: http://www.noharmm.org/IDcirc.htm

          • “It would probably be a surprise to the 1,391 volunteers in Krieger’s study, 64% of whom said their penis was “much more sensitive” after being circumcised. Ref: Krieger JN, Mehta SD, Bailey RC, Agot K, Ndinya-Achola JO, Parker C, Moses S. Adult male circumcision: effects on sexual function and sexual satisfaction in Kisumu, Kenya. J Sex Med. 2008 Nov;5(11):2610-22”

            That’s the study of paid volunteers for circumcision that found
            “For the circumcision and control groups, respectively, rates of any reported sexual dysfunction decreased from 23.6% and 25.9% at baseline to 6.2% and 5.8% at month 24. [In other words some other factor caused sexual dysfunction to decrease over time, vastly more than any difference circumcision might have made.] Changes over time were not associated with circumcision status.”

          • “Five studies have investigated the sensitivity of the glans by circumcision status. With one exception, all studies found no statistically significant differences. ” And the one exception was the only one that looked at the sensitivity of the _foreskin_. (Unsurprisingly, that one found that a foreskin was infinitely more sensitive than no foreskin…)

        • Joseph4GI says:

          Jake likes to quote his own studies, written by and for circumcision advocates, but likes to think that other studies that have been published in peer-reviewed journals simply don’t count because he and his buddy Morris don’t think so.

          Any study with names like “Bailey” and “Moses” should be suspect, as these men are known circumcision advocates who have been “studying” how to necessitate circumcision for quite some time now.

          If we look at these “studies,” all they do is basically ask freshly circumcised men, who were told that circumcision was supposed to be so much better and protect them from AIDS, “so do you liked being circumcised?” To which most said “yes!”

          That’s the “rigorous study” that Jake talks about.

          Are we going to hear from these men 30 years later or so? When the keratinization has made them impotent?

          He also fails to mention that the other studies that he claims, esp. Masters and Johnson have serious flaws, including the fact that they only test two points on the penis, the glans and the shaft, and, in there myopic view that all penises should be circumcised, ignore the foreskin.

          Sorrells is superior to these studies because they not only test BOTH kinds of penises, but they also include the foreskin in their sensitivity test.

          Don’t be fooled by Jake quoting himself in “Morris and Waskett.” All that is is basically a complaint letter. Jake and his masturbation buddy Brian, thought they could actually say anything about the study, even though Jake is a computer programmer, and Brian is a professor of molecular sciences, and they have absolutely nothing to do with the field of urology.

          Not that a letter from two known circumcision advocates matters at all, but Morris and Waskett were refuted by Hugh Young.

          Before taking Jake seriously, readers would be wise to remember that the Sorrells study underwent a rigorous peer-reviewed process, of which Morris nor Waskett could be qualified to be part of.

          The Sorrells study was published in the British Journal of Urology. If they thought Morris and Waskett’s letter were of any significance, the study would have been retracted and taken down. As it stands, the study remains as an ultimate testament of the damage of circumcision, and the adverse effects it has on sensitivity.

          Here is Morris and Waskett’s complaint letter:
          http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2007.06970_6.x/full

          And here was the rebuttal to Morris and Waskett.
          http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2007.07072_1.x/full

          Readers would be wise to read the study for themselves.
          http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2006.06685.x/pdf

        • Oh, Jake, why don’t you just tell the truth and admit that at age 5 (five) you decided that nothing was more lovely than the exposed male glans, and that you wanted one just like …. what was his name? Too meek and uncertain to make the decision on your own, you were finally pushed over the edge of that cutting table after discovering that a few other men shared your obsession.

          The shock came when it became apparent that many of those men enjoyed masturbating over the act of cutting, rather than the appearance of the glans. A further shock came when, at my suggestion, you took a poll of the members of CIRCLIST, which revealed that most Circumsexuals have had, or wish to have, more than one circumcision. One fellow reported having six, but others weren’t far behind.

          Consequently, you have felt it necessary to dredge up obscure “studies” to help rationalize your childhood fascination for the glans penis, while and at the same time distancing yourself from your fellow Circumsexuals, as though you have a superior point of view Always, of course, the studies you push support the idea that Male Genital Mutilation might not be Male Genital Mutilation. Unfortunately for you, those studies tend always to be considerably less than the full story … but then it’s not anyone else you are trying to convince. It’s yourself.

          The truth is, Jake, you would have had your foreskin amputated whether studies existed or not. It was the fact that other men shared your obsession that prompted you to amputate your foreskin.

    • You’ve mentioned a couple of common misconceptions.

      Firstly, you try to make the point that less sensitivity is good. This is not the case, as circumcised men are missing very particular sensations. Mostly, they’re missing sensory feedback. This is part of the foreskin’s role, and allows a man to sense where he is in relation to orgasm. It is this mechanism which allows a man to “hold off” and wait until his partner is ready too. In men missing the foreskin, this mechanism is broken, making premature ejaculation more common in circumcised men – they can’t hold off orgasm because the sense organ that tells them how far they have to go has been taken away.

      Secondly, you make the mistake of thining that logner sex is better sex. This isn’t necessarily the case. Sex is as long as it needs to be – sometimes horus and hours is appropriate, sometimes you only have time for an illicit quickie. If you’re with a man whose decreased sensitivity means it will take him hours every time then part of your sex life is missing. Furthermore, there’s a difference between quantity and quality. Since circumcised men cause more chafing and discomfort in their partners (due to pulling out the natural lube of the vagina), longer sex is worse, because it causes even more doscomfort, even pain. This problem doesn’t occur with intact men, because another function of the foreskin is to trap lubrication within the vagina (as well as being moist itself, rather than dry, as with the altered man’s organ).

      It is pure fabrication (usually created by circumcised men) to say that the circumcised penis is better for sex. The largest scale studies ever done suggest that women overwhelmingly prefer sex with natural guys.

      • Whenever I see a man with a natural intact penis, I never think, “I bet he wishes he was like me.” I think, “I curse the day that a doctor took the easy way to make some extra money by cutting off my birthright.” “And I’m really envious.” The cut men may quote studies that ‘prove’ the glans is as sensitive as it should be, but neglect the role of the foreskin in the copulation action. I remember when my schoolmate showed me his erection with the foreskin that stretched all the way to the top. It was him who told me that my foreskin had been cut off, I was devastated.

    • Amy Barton says:

      The loss of sensitivity isn’t overblown at all. Circumcision removes virtually all the Meissner’s corpuscles , which are the fine touch receptors on the penis. This leaves receptors sensitive to temperature, pain and pressure. To demonstrate the difference, touch the inside of your mouth, then your lips. Lips have fine touch receptors – the inside of the mouth doesn’t. There is a study here regarding penile sensitivity: http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/pdf/sorrells_2007.pdf

      This is a devastating account from a Frenchman who was cut in his late twenties as he was lead to believe this was what American women wanted, and was never informed of the damage it would do:

      “I used to have my foreskin until my late 20’s. I gave in to the American women I was with before that made me feel dirty and a foreign backward freak.I trusted the doctors too, they told me it will not make a big difference, but only bring improvement.It changed my life.
      Needless to say,after what I went through slowly came down to realize of the huge loss in feelings that to this day I wish I never had believed and I wish more than anything in my heart I could return as I were. It is so much changed, that I do not enjoy sex with a partner or alone as before. Those bastard doctors must have known and don’t say what doctor Kellogg had in mind with this program. For all of those who wish to know and want to know how it feels,imagine what is making love with a part of your body that used to feel as much as your tongue. I could feel a hair tip with my glans and now, it is like making love with your nose tip! Maybe less,a cold nose. It may be a bit oversensitive sometimes,but never like it was. Numb and dumber. Thank you and sorry for ranting. I will never get over this.”

  142. What a sad sad article. I am circumcised as are all of my male family (to my knowledge) but that didn’t force me to snip my son when he came along. My wife and I also did ALOT of research regarding a completely unnecessary procedure. Once we took out the religious reasons (we are not Jewish), there was not any logical reason to put our new born son under a knife. You say that most of the United States thinks its weird. How bout the rest of the WORLD doesnt ! Everyone is different. My penis is different than my son’s, so is my male pattern baldness which he probably wont have, so are our noses. That isn’t going to preclude any “Hair Club for Men’ issues nor any rhinoplasty in the future. To put a health concern aside to an obvious subjective “its weird” comment? I just hope your son doesn’t date anyone outside his ethnicity or race. Most of the United States still think thats weird. And lord forbid if he loves someone of the same gender. You may have to have another son, cuz this one is weird.

    • It’s kind of weird that you say “once we took out the religious reasons, there were no logical reasons”.

      If you leave the religious arguments in, there are still no logical reasons. As shown by the huge and growing number of Jews and Muslims who leave their sons intact – knowing that the god they believe in wouldn’t create an imperfect body and demand that it be “corrected” in the form of sacrificing a child’s penis.

      • We are saying the same thing. Don’t make an argument out of nothing. Just meant people use religious practices as their reasoning. Not going to try and win or persuade a family who decides to snip if it is based on belief. No way to win that argument. What you said about God’s creating a little boy the way He wants is actually the reason we didnt change anything either.

        • I didn’t mean to sound argumentative – just to point out that I, and many religious people, don’t regard their beliefs as an excuse either.

          Too often I see people make an exemption for religion – phrases like “unless you’re Jewish, you shouldn’t circumcise”. I think Jewish babies deserve to be protected as much as anyone else – after all, there’s no telling that he will grow up to believe in the religion of his parents.

          I think the best way to convince someone against circumcision if they think their religion requires it is to point them towards the many religious people who don’t circumcise, and believe it is against god.

    • Re: male pattern baldness in your son: look at your father-in-law, that’s who he gets his hair from.

  143. Watch out! Your son might meet and marry a girl (or boy) who thinks his still having balls is weird, and where will that leave *his* child. This is a ridiculous column about a bad decision made by a pushy woman and weak-willed man. I am sorry I read it.

    • OMG, Jeff! Your comment hit the nail square on the head. That’s exactly what happened in this situation. The man was too weak-willed and the woman was too damn pushy. She should be thankful her husband wasn’t circumcised. The sex is better if he knows even a tiny bit of how to pleasure a woman at all. Circumcision should be left up to ADULTS. Here’s a good video I recently found on circumcision and “doctors” passing off crappy un-truths and myths as medical fact:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA&feature=watch_response_rev

    • These Saudi Arabian doctors discuss 22 cases of penile cancer in circumcised men.
      J Urol. 2006 Feb;175(2):557-61 Seyam RM, Bissada NK, Mokhtar AA, Mourad WA, Aslam M, Elkum N, Kattan SA, Hanash KA. Outcome of penile cancer in circumcised men.

      And to cut part off a baby because of something that might, just might, go wrong when he’s in his 70s or 80s is just preposterous.

  144. Stephen Siegel says:

    I am a urologist – and although I can understand some of the cons of a circumcision, I have also seen the cons of not having been circumcised. Penile cancer is rare, but it ONLY happens in uncircumcised men. At that point, we are left removing a lot more then foreskin. But, more commonly, I see the results of poor hygeine over the years. The foreskin remains constantly inflammed, which leads to a scarring type reaction that constricts the foreskin, prevents the foreskin from being retacted, which leads to worse hygeine issues. It is also not rare for the foreskin to tighten so much that an older man, is not able to urinate, or he urinates into the area under the foreskin and then the urine just dribbles out. I have ended up doing needed circumcisions in men in their 70s and 80s. These are just some thoughts to add to the arguement of whether to circumcise or not.

    • Penile cancer is indeed *very* rare, accounting for 0.2% of all cancers in men in the US. It can form in both the foreskin _as well as_ the glans, and affects circumcised and intact men in equal measure, despite your statement to the contrary.

      Seeing that other forms of cancer are much more prevalent I can only assume that you are also in favor of removing other parts of babies that might one day develop cancer. Prostates, perhaps? Lungs? Sections of the colon? Breast cancer is more frequent in men, so perhaps our children’s nipples should be put on chopping block as well?

      As a urologist your experience undoubtedly suffers from selection bias, in that men with healthy foreskins are unlikely to come to a specialist. You wrote that you see many patients with ‘constantly inflamed foreskins’ from a lack of proper hygiene. I simply can not believe that a medical professional would, in good conscience, promote preemptive *amputation* when the alternative “slide it back and bathe semi-regularly”.

      Normally I would not responde to such ill-informed hogwash, but post here out of fear that a prospective parent might read your writings and not take the time to fact-check them.

      • Thank you for taking the time to reply to this wildly dangerous comment. I appreciate you sharing the facts (with a touch of wit) to set the record straight.

      • I don’t think that it was a “dangerous” comment. sorry. removing the lungs would be dangerous. The foreskin isn’t that vital to survival, or at least not that anyone knows yet.

        There are actually people (mainly women) who preemptively remove their breast tissue if they have a very severe risk of getting breast cancer.

        • Which is fine for adult women to do as they can make the choice. An infant doesn’t get the chance to decide whether he wants to have a foreskin or not.

        • jim dorey says:

          right, not ‘dangerous’, an outright lie, that could push parents to have their child subjected to a medically unnecessary procedure, that could raise the number of boys that DIE of circumcision related complications(more than sids), certainly not dangerous, not like they’d die… well, their kid could, but circumcising a child is an inherently selfish thing.

          studies, real studies, not the ramblings of a man that makes, what is it stephen? 700-1000 per procedure? several times a day? the studies say that, besides the already, nearly impossibly low risk of foreskin cancer, that the difference between glans cancer rates(where the VAST majority of penile cancer occurs) can be explained as statistical error. even the studies done with dubious numbers, methods or even the source of funding, they NEVER say that it’s a 100% reduction, they know they’d never get away with saying something so obviously ridiculous.

          now, the story of this coward ‘waah, my wife thinks my weenie looks funny, i don’t want my boy teased, waah! ok, cut him :(‘ doesn’t realise, the rates of childhood circumcision have plunged from 50% to under 31% in just the last few years, and never got much over 75%, now he’s more likely to be teased, as the freakish outcast. good job.

          there is a concession to stephen though, most circumcisions are done by doctors in maternity wards, likely not urologists, even though there’s still a complication risk, death among them, urologists are the only ones that have been trained to do circumcisions properly, so risk is lowered.

        • “There are actually people (mainly women) who preemptively remove their breast tissue if they have a very severe risk of getting breast cancer.”

          These are consenting, informed adults who are completely aware of any risks and also receive proper anesthesia and pain management. Would parents legally be allowed to have their baby’s mammary tissue surgically removed at birth to prevent the possibility of cancer one day? NO. Why should circumcision be any different?

          Also you said people with a very severe risk of getting cancer would preemptively remove breast tissue. Does an infant male in the U.S. have a “very severe risk” of getting penile cancer? Absolutely not. Check the statistics. You shot yourself in the foot with your argument pal.

      • Amy Barton says:

        I have my doubts that the author is a urologist, least of all because his spelling does not suggest he is someone who is university educated.

        No doctor worth his salt would mention the infinitesimally small risk of penile cancer as a justification for infant circumcision, a cancer that is rarer than male breast cancer. No reputable doctor could overlook the fact that more boys die of the complications of circumcision every year than men from penile cancer.

        Urologists are more likely than most to be against infant circumcision as they frequently have to fix the subsequent complications. With around 9% of circumcised boys suffering from meatal stenosis alone, further surgery is frequent. Perhaps it is profitable for some – but I doubt the entirety of the medical establishment in the USA takes a Mengele-esque delight in the torture of children.

      • Thanks, Fermi. You covered what I was going to express, quite well.

    • Great story. And warmly and well written. See my story in today’s post as well: http://goodmenproject.com/2011/01/18/the-foreskin-renaissance/ It’s a fascinating topic, no doubt. Thanks, Laura

    • “ONLY”?!!!! I think you work for a MED TECH LAB doc! Better state the medical facts from “legitimate studies” on that statement-or you might take Lisa Masterson’s place on “The Doctors Show”! To make a working and important Male structure into a medical villian is like saying large breasts are the “ONLY” reason Females get breast cancer. I never fail to be amazed at how far doctors go to scare people so their own “opinions” are seen as fact. This was just perfect example-a weak one but still an example! Fact is that hospitals will be out of big $$$ from not selling the 4skins to MedTechLabs, and those Labs will really be out of the money without those skins! Leave the Child alone!

    • As the unwilling owner of a driedout cut penis, I can only too well testify that sex is a less than fulfilling experience for both of us, After 30 to 50 minutes of thrusting, I get numb, and she is sore even with copious amounts of lubricant. As a result we have not had intercourse for more than 4 years, but I am trying to restore what little tissue I still have, so that I may be able to resume. Because of this, and that I don’t have the moral right to modify a natural baby’s body, our son is intact, and at 26 years of age has had no problems with his penis. Penile cancer can affect both cut and uncut men but only at an advanced age. I’m sure most men would be happy to have 60 years of great sex, and take that risk. A better precaution is avoiding tobacco.

    • I know a man who had penile cancer, and he was circumcised. Not that I saw his penis, but he told me he was, and I have no reason to disbelieve him. I think to say it only affects those men who are uncirc’ed is incorrect.

  145. I found this article to be interesting because, as a single mother that currently has no contact with the father, I decided NOT to have my son circumcised. It just seemed cruel to me. I wanted to see why you allowed it. Why is something so natural so detested?

    • It is a sad part of culture, nothing more.

      Originally, it was because of anti-pleasure puritanical teachings. Kellogg (of cereal fame) advocated circumcision as a means of stopping boys from masturbating (you don’t want to know what he suggested for little girls…), since masturbation was clearly such an evil thing, which caused blindness, insanity, retardation, etc, etc.

      Most of the world’s men are intact, and suffer no problems from it. Outside the US, people regard circumcision the way they regard leeches, or trepanning. A bizarre cultural artefact that has no place in modern medicine, except as something chosen by adults, for themselves.

      You’re right that it is cruel, and your instincts led you to the best decision for your son – to realise that it’s HIS decision. If he wants to inflict that kind of change upon his own body as an adult, be there to inform and support him. But as a baby, what right has anyone got to force their view of genital perfection onto a child who hasn’t even had the opportunity to form an opinion?

      When boys are born in the US, everyone is quick to offer their opinion, because they can be quick – they’re adults, they can think (most of them anyway) and they can speak. There is only one person in the matter who can’t yet voice his opinion, because he as yet has no voice. Why is his opinion less important because it is less immediate?

      Family can tell you what they think in two seconds, but it may take two decades before Junior can tell you with any certainty what he wants. So give him the time he needs! His opinion is slower to come, but it’s the ONLY one that matters!

      Leave the US, Renea, and you’ll find that no-one detests this natural part of the male sexuality. The majority of women are used to the natural penis. The circumcised penis is regarded as an oddity. And for many of us, an unpleasant oddity, not to be experienced again. Nature intended sex to be pleasurable for men and women – so leave them to it, with all the pleasure nerve endings they’re supposed to have!

      • President Clinton certainly felt it was more than a “sad part of culture”.

        Circumcision may be the answer to Aids, says Clinton
        http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/aug/16/health.aids1

        • Why would we base what’s done in the U.S., on problems that may or may not exist in places like Uganda? Jee-zoydz, people.

        • Nateisamoron says:

          I’m sorry, I didn’t realize Clinton was the be-all, end-all authority on aids. Here I was thinking that using condoms & knowing my partner’s STD/HIV status were the keys to safe sex.

        • UGH. I hate it when people use health information meant for helping THIRD WORLD countries with a complete lack of sanitation, as something to help prove their beliefs.

          I went to the doctor for a check up on my REAR, and he felt obliged to tell me about the World Heath Organization report regarding the spread of AIDS(in Africa!), and that I might want to consider cutting a piece of my penis off. This was a doctor. I had actually read about the report, slammed him for recommending such nonsense, and spreading mis-information. NEVER went back.

          I understand where the Mom and Dad were coming from, but on the Flipside, my Dad was circumcised, and felt a bit violated, therefore, leaving that decision to me. I’ve had moments of shame, yes, and then I realized how stupid that was. Letting silly American women influence what I think about myself and my junk. I’ve also has women, AMAZING dream women, completely in touch with the elements of high-society to low-society, earth-mothers to the jet set, LOVE the way my penis is. and Told me how much.

Trackbacks

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  3. […] Hess, president of MGMbill.org, Foreskin Man is a product of Hess’ mission to prevent infant male circumcision. Like his character, Hess currently works in San Diego, but instead of donning a cape and plasma […]

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