Showtime thinks it’s the perfect time to walk away from thing habits and behaviors that did not served us well in 2013.
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The new year is approaching fast, and I would be remiss if I didn’t address the fact that there are some things in my life that I don’t want to take with me into 2014. Sometimes as men we can overlook the fact that a new year is the perfect time for a new beginning. I’m not talking about the New Year’s resolutions, or the “new year new me” Facebook statuses. I’m talking about a conscious effort to walk away from those things that stopped us being great and moving into what will be our best year ever!
This is the time to break old habits, change bad behaviors, and begin living a happier and healthier life for ourselves and our families.
This list is intended to help you to reflect on the things in your life that don’t need to be taken into the new year. The time for change is now, and as men we need to stop putting off those things that we know need to be handled and get our houses in order. If you want to just go into the new year carrying the same old mess from 2013, this post may not be for you. But, if you want to live a life of victory and see things change that haven’t been going your way, then you have come to the right place. Here is the list of things that I think men should do as 2013 ends and 2014 begins.
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1. Telling women what you think they want to hear – Men have to stop going out of their way and saying things that we think women want to hear. They don’t want to hear any tired made-up stories that you created in your mind. They want to hear the truth. Whether it be someone you are dating, your wife, or just someone that you are interested in hanging out with, just be up front with her, and trust me, you will get a whole lot further than if you choose to lie about something. She doesn’t want some made up persona, or a conversation full of what ifs and how comes. All she wants is the truth…and she deserves it!
2. Putting off those doctor visits – Listen, nobody likes going to the doctor! But you should go see your doctor at least once a year to get an annual physical. Things like blood pressure, cholesterol, heart rate, and other vital tests are an important part of staying healthy. You can expect your doctor to give you a thorough examination, but you can also express to him/her any concerns that you may be having about your body. This one trip to the doctor could be what saves your life in the new year. Stop putting it off and make the call to schedule an appointment. Also, don’t forget to get tested for any sexually transmitted disease. That “what I don’t know can’t kill” me mentality that we have is actually killing us. KNOW YOUR STATUS!
3. Letting society dictate how you treat women – To many of the thoughts and ideas that we get on how we should treat women come from what we see on TV and hear on the radio. I get so tired of men quoting song lyrics or behaving like someone they saw on TV when dealing with women. Learn the difference between fantasy and reality. Folks on TV live in a fantasy world, you and I live in reality. Act accordingly when you are dealing with the opposite sex. If you want to win a woman’s heart, just be authentic. We have to get back to being gentlemen and actually courting women. Treat them with respect and don’t become like the under-mannered, oversexed persona that society tries to portray us as. We don’t have to buy into the hype. Its actually okay to treat women with respect.
4. Not giving your children enough attention – There are too many deadbeat dads in the world! This needs to stop today. If you have children, you need to be a part of their lives and you need to be providing for them. We are raising a generation of children who are longing for the love of their fathers. The act of getting a woman pregnant, and walking out on her has to come to an end. There are too many children in this world who are looking for love in the wrong places because they didn’t get it from their father. Take some responsibility….step up to a plate and be a man! Its not just enough to be there, you have to be in there lives and be active. Don’t take for granted the time that you have with your kids. Make it count.
5. Giving up – If you start something…FINISH IT! Stop leaving the job half done. If you want to see results, you have to plan for it and see things through from start to finish. How many things did you start this year are still waiting for you to finish them? Get off of your butt and DO WORK!
6. Not eating right and exercising – A good diet and a daily exercise regiment will take you a long way. I know it can be hard to fit in those two things with the hustle and bustle of your every day life. But if you want to feel better, live longer, and experience a better life overall you have to start watching what you put into your body. Find a way to fit at least 30 minutes of exercise into your daily routine. Start incorporating more fresh fruits and vegetables into your diet, and cut out those fatty fried foods that are clogging up your arteries.
7. Spending more time on your gaming system than with your woman – I’m not a gamer, and I’m not knocking anyone who is. Everyone has their way of finding relaxation. If playing Call of Duty until the wee hours of the morning is what floats your boat, I say go for it. But the amount of time and energy that you put into that gaming system should be doubled when it comes to your significant other. Don’t let online games and gadgets become more of a priority in your life than satisfying your woman. Those games are going to be there, just make sure that you are not escaping the emotional responsibilities of your relationship just to satisfy the desire to game.
These are just some of the things that I think we need to leave behind us when the new year arrives. Don’t miss out on the fullness that 2014 has to offer you by using the same frame to build it that crumbled your home in 2013.
Originally appeared at The Single Fathers Blog
Photo: Flickr/Sean MackEntee
I’ve gotten better at making those doctor visits more regular. I found a doctor I like, I’m getting older, and I am tired of my wife bugging me about it.
This year – less give up – more get up.
Great list! Here are a four add-ons:
1) Any lingering notion that greed is somehow good, bag it. A lie is a lie.
2) All that stuff you think you need to buy to be happy, it’s stuff, doubt its gonna make you happy.
3) All that time you think you have to do the things that should matter most to you, you have less left ahead of you this year than you did last year, by definition.
4) Calling out a problem is a good start, starting down the path to fixing it is hugely more satisfying.
#s 1,3, and 7 are perfect examples of what Helen Smith talks about in her book Men On Strike. Men are walking away from marriage and relationships because we no longer have the energy or desire to be constantly told that WE are always the problem. Changing yourself for anyone, man or woman is a bad idea. She also devotes a chapter to White Knights and Uncle Tims who try to gain favor with women by setting themselves above other men. Dr.Phil is a perfect example. If a man wrote an article like this about women he would be labeled… Read more »
I get the impression that you have an exceedingly distorted view of men in general. You write as if men are completely absent of any ethical or moral barometer, but then again this isn’t surprising considering that you identify as a feminist and of course unless a man is a feminist he can’t possibly be anything but a misogynist creep engaged on a war against women. I suspect it hasn’t occurred to you that a LOT of us men don’t need to lectured in a condescending self-righteous tone about how to do the right thing. How about bothering to tell… Read more »
Adam, your view of women is tragic and painfully inaccurate.
I hope you’re able to find a way to release yourself from all of those notions.
Adam a feminist is someone who believes in equality regardless of their gender or whether they shave their legs or not. What men and women want is the same: to be respected.
Adam, have you forgiven those who have hurt you? I used to say the same statements you made. Forgiveness is greater than anything, and cleanses that bitterness I used to have. Men do have good qualities, but this article is written for those who would like to break the stereotypical behaviors to engage better with any relationship.
Great list! Love #3.
Also #7. It reminds me of myself years ago. Tried to become an expert at almost anything but my marriage. Apparently, that’s not good. ;^) I wrote about it here.
http://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys/about-steve/whats-with-the-horse/
Happy New Year to you.