Dating is a game, and sarcastic people have a natural edge over the competition.
——
The sarcastic woman: “I think I like you. Guess I’ll have to notify the other men I’m dating.”
Translation:
“I do like you. I am dating other people, but you are the front runner. This is a compliment.”
By now, most have heard of the “Five Love Languages” — an incredible book and communication tool by Gary Chapman — and it’s likely you know your primary and secondly love languages (Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service).
But, time and time again, I speak a language many might find foreign, some deem offensive and others see as magic.
I’m talking about sarcasm.
On résumés and under proficiencies, you will find a slew of technical skills. If you read closely, you will always find a line item that reads, “Fluent in sarcasm.”
That, in and of itself, is sarcasm. It is not only a matter of tone and delivery. I’m convinced sarcasm is the sixth love language.
It is frequently misinterpreted, but when properly received, it builds bonds.
I’m convinced sarcasm is the sixth love language. It is frequently misinterpreted, but when properly received, it builds bonds.
|
The universal truth about dating is this: People want what they think they can’t have. I’m not saying this is good. I’m simply saying we all like the chase.
We all enjoy being kept on our toes a bit. Don’t get me wrong, though.
I’m not a ballerina, and I won’t dance on point forever.
But, there is something about the edge, the unknown and the uneasy “Where do we stand?” thoughts that keep you intrigued.
Dating is a game, and I think sarcastic people have a natural edge over the competition.
Well-crafted sarcasm is attractive because it demonstrates intelligence, a sense of humor, emotional IQ, confidence, style and an edge of sassy flirtation. (And, we all know most men love a little sass.)
You can’t help but gravitate toward the hilarious woman who can hold her own, make people laugh and win over the hearts of the crowd, which very well might be your friends.
The wit and syntax swagger of sarcastic women keep their suitors perpetually on the edge of “Am I ‘in’, or…?”
You want in on this brusque battle, but let me, a woman who slings sarcasm, help you out before you enter the ring.
Sarcastic people can be a nightmare to date (yes, I admit it).
Here are a few things you should know about dating a sarcastic woman:
1. “Complisults.”
An example of a complisult is “You’ll do, for now,” or “I’m surprised how much I like you because you’re not exactly my type.”
They’re part insult, part compliment. It’s how sarcastic people show affection. Don’t be offended; dish it back. We will swoon.
Fair warning: Sarcastic women typically have obnoxiously soft hearts. It’s in there, deep below the volcanic compliments.
We just need a man who’s good at spelunking the sarcasm caves.
2. Lost in (text) translation.
Sarcasm rarely translates well to text and sometimes, we forget to use emoticons.
I’d say it’s safe to add a winky face after 85 percent of the bullsh*t we say to you.
Also, feel free to ask for clarification. If we really like you, we don’t want you to be offended (much).
3. Fair game.
Just like with other elements of a healthy relationship, you should reciprocate the sarcasm. Please make fun of us.
We can handle your jokes and digs, and we like it when you bite back. It’s so hot!
4. But first, check yourself.
Always remember you’re dealing with a woman. Sometimes we don’t understand our own thought processes or reactions, so keep your sarcasm on the lighter side.
We have been known to cry at any moment. I’m not apologizing for the landmine this lays out. I think that adds to the excitement.
Also, being mean is not acceptable. If you are going to say something to seriously hurt a person, that’s not sarcasm.
That’s called the first punch, and we will reach straight for the nukes.
5. A good sarcastic has good judgment.
No, I will not “complisult” your mother the first time you introduce me, unless she does it first. In that case, I might just fall in love with your family.
I was born sarcastic, which means I spent my teen years experiencing the consequences of misused rhetoric.
Please know it does hurt to keep the sarcasm in, but at the age of 28, I have learned how to tailor by delivery.
Since I am a sophisticated young professional, I now drop all sarcastic remarks into a cat meme before sending by email. Cat memes soften all sarcasm.
6. Our memory recall is impeccable.
Remember that one time you did a sidewalk faceplant walking into the gala or that embarrassing story your college buddy shared about you one night at dinner?
It’s cute you think I forgot, but the sarcastic never forgets.
All of your embarrassing moments are properly filed away in our joke warehouse, and they are primed for a future shipment of impeccable timing.
We never forget, and we will never let you forget. That’s why you love us.
7. We think we are hilarious.
Sometimes we say things just because they make us laugh. If you are also fluent, you will likely find our antics equally hilarious.
With us, the laughter is endless. Sarcasm keeps the flame lit.
8. Contrary to belief, we are capable of genuine love.
It’s not all complisults and games. Sarcasm is likely the result of overcoming life’s challenges.
It’s a defense mechanism to keep that huge heart of ours protected, or it’s a coping mechanism because sometimes, even the most confident people freak out over meeting new people or working a room.
Don’t let this one, very strong, overbearing personality trait overshadow the entire person, or her ability to love.
The more sarcastic, the more capacity there is for love. It just means you’ve found a woman who doesn’t take herself too seriously.
A person who can roll with the punches and likely already has. It’s not all of her. It doesn’t define her; it refines her.
You just have to get to the core, but it won’t happen by refusing to speak her language.
Meet her with an endearing insult, and you’ll slowly get one foot in the door (then maybe the other, if you’re lucky).
Just know that when we do give you sweet compliments, they are genuine and will make you melt.
In the end, life’s too short not to rub salt in the wounds. It’s a joke. Let your life dance lightly on the edge.
No one ever looks back on his or her life and says. “I wish I would have been more serious and a little less lighthearted.”
By Samantha Lang
Originally published at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
——
Samantha Lang: IG: @SammieSanDiego Charismatic nerd who carries a soapbox. Farm-raised, college educated, lab rat turned suit of passion. Wholehearted optimist who’s impulsively enthusiastic and fluent in sarcasm, science & hip hop. Inspired by the power …
Photo: FlashBuddy/Pixabay
an expansive view for all those afraid of sarcasm…or intrigued by it
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/06/sarcasm-to-strip-flesh-jeff-sanders/
“If intimacy is the empathetic communion between two people or a group of people, then sarcasm, the stripping of flesh, is it’s evil twin.”
A quote from the source that was noted…… Clearly abuse and well known by the purveyor to be abuse.
Interesting to see how many comments see general sarcasm as abuse. (In some way even tickling could be abuse!) It really depends on whether the receiver takes a victim role. If you don’t like the edge of sarcasm, or bondage or tattoos or anything that ‘grey area’ simply say ‘not for me!!!’ It’s your boundaries that make the difference between play and pain in this aspect. If you don’t like someone’s intentions stand by what you think. As an adult you can hold your own when a joke isn’t your kind of funny. Most of all Remember your experience is… Read more »
More Justifications for abusive behavior. Emotional abuse is just as real as physical abuse. Women as a group are more likely to practice relational forms of abuse and sarcasm is one of those forms. Hurtful cruel behavior is not less damaging when it is couched in humorous terms.
Is sarcasm evil, No! Is it abuse, No! That’s like saying rock music is evil and abusive. Where I live sarcasm is common in informal settings and is known as banter. Between lovers- it’s quite earthy to know your partner can turn a dark side into a light joke without ignoring reality… I find a little edge of humour and mischief erotic. I’m sarcastic and my partner is very literal (slap stick)- but having differing humour never stopped us. He reacts to my cheeky ways by rolling around with me (he’s a literal kinda guy) It’s the moments I’m not… Read more »
“Sarcasm refers to the use of humour to mask belittling or threatening language. Thus the information is delivered in such a way so as to provide two distinct messages. The superficial message is that the intention is humour or levity while the deeper message is one that belittles, demeans or threatens. Because the deliverer uses humour to mask the message, the deliverer will try to deny the deeper message if confronted, thus leaving the receiver somewhat disarmed and unable to defend against the deeper message. Typically the person using sarcasm denies the deeper message so as to absolve him or… Read more »
Ummmm… hmm… since when are back-handed compliments not abusive? Like Trey – we find it tiresome and most of all… disrespectful. It devalues what we ultimately bring into our relationship, after awhile, we wake up to what an emotional imbalance it is, and we decide for ourselves – we deserve better.
Couldn’t disagree more. I live by a simple philosophy. If you wouldn’t say it to a five year old, why say it to an adult? Accepting sarcasm as valid communication is bad for the soul. Demand better.
Well said!
Was number four written by Tim Hunt?
Win
No one should have suffer through that much emotional abuse……..Just look at into the eyes of men that are married to them….dead,dying,crushed.