May 11, 2013 New Folsom Prison. What are the effects of social isolation, and how much endlessly deep punishment can the mind sustain?
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Good morning realness folks and Mother Earth. I’m still trying to make running and walking a habit again. It’s good to keep my heart pumping. It’s a quarter to six, and the sky is beginning to glow. I’m looking forward to see the Gosling Five; perhaps they are only days from flying away. Yesterday I got a letter from my splendid friend and editor Anja, and I found out my new articles and blogs have not made it to Sweden yet. I sent them weeks ago. They should have arrived.
I hope these daily blogs are not too boring, but people kept asking me about my every day prison life. I can tell you I literally suffer every day. It’s easy to say, “let go” to most wants and desires, yet as a man each day I suffer and long for the hug of a woman, or just to hear a woman’s voice in conversation, or just to sit and share space. Sex doesn’t have to be involved, just yin and yang and sharing space and silence, sharing wisdom and realness. Me listening to your stories of the day and week, or whatever, and you listening to mine.
I think I have unique exiting stories to share. What prisoners, who are human beings, don’t suffer for verbal or physical touch. We are still human beings who love and long to share space. I’m not a monk, or priest and have no inclination to be celibate, physically or verbally. It’s an endlessly deep punishment to miss the magic of sharing intimate moments, one human with another for a day, week, month, year, ten, twenty, thirty years. Can you imagine four cave walls and a tiny window as your view of the world and only dreams to be with the opposite sex, yin and yang.
Hell, sometimes I long to just see a woman’s feet and feel guilty and like a freak even though it is a natural occurrence for someone deprived of real beauty where most things natural and human are forbidden. In prison, where even a kiss is forbidden.
Beyond Bars: Where I Am From Beyond Bars: Silence Beyond Bars: One Soul Beyond Bars: Goodbye Music Beyond Bars: Remains Beyond Bars: True Media Beyond Bars: The Universal is Personal Beyond Bars: After Poetry is Nothing Beyond Bars: Birds Chase Away Blues Flower Photo by CarbonNYC/Flickr (this image has been altered)