Take Care of Your Lover


Love is a verb. Act like it.

Take care of your man (or woman)! Regardless of your ‘status’ with each other. When you read the next couple of suggestions you may think they are solely applicable for dating (or in the very beginning stages of a relationship) but it is just as important when you are with a partner for the long or short haul.

Think about it. Why does it have to be different when you are dating, than when you are in relationship? Being YOU and being kind, considerate and loving should not be dependent on time together and commitment status.

Here we go – not one, not three, but FIVE ways in which you can take care of someone who wants to, or currently does, care of you. They really do. And if they forget from time to time, remind them by being the example.

Be Sexy

You are not the only one that needs assurance in your relationship. Your partner wants to be wanted too. Not just emotionally. Physically. So let them know that. Show them. Send a sexy flirty text letting them know what you want to do to them next time you see them. Make it playful. Think art of the tease.

Here is the thing, you know you have those desires too. So share them with your lover. They WANT to hear it. Trust me. It turns them on like no other. Quit stifling yourself and communicate what you want in the bedroom.

I am not advocating being someone you are not, what I AM saying is bring out the parts of you that for whatever reason have been stuffed, ignored or completely disconnected. Being a sexual being is one of those parts of us we have disconnected from to some degree since childhood.

Be Interesting

In other words, be fully engaged in your life. Immerse yourself in your hobbies and your passions. Have things to talk about, to share, teach. Would YOU want to be with someone boring? Exactly. Neither does your potential partner. This also puts a curb on the crazy train episodes (moments of a neediness attack) when you are completely satisfied with all of the amazing things happening. Focus on you, your life, making yourself happy and fulfilled. Confession: I need to remind myself of this one constantly.

Be Generous

Nobody likes a taker. Plus relationships ARE a give and take. Be generous with your giving. Whether what you are giving of is your time, your love, your attention or your money. Surprising suggestion I know, but you can treat your man every now and again to a nice meal or a movie ladies. He will appreciate it more than you realize. It reminds them that it is not an expectation for them to take care of you and that you would like to reciprocate all of the generosity and attention he pours on you. Regardless, I believe in showing your guy/girl that you appreciate them and what better way than to GIVE!

Be Fun

Instead of waiting around until your partner plans something, be proactive. Do fun things together. Mix it up. Be spontaneous. For example, plan a little trip where both of you can do things you have been wanting to for a while. Like a beer tasting and spa retreat weekend. Or wine tasting and museums. You get the drift and I believe in you and your awesome imagination. Point being here: they are going to love the thought you put into the planning and most importantly how you made sure they got to experience something that would make them happy as well.

Last but not least …

Be a Good Listener

Listening is definitely a skill. To not just hear, but listen. To things said and unsaid. To what this person is trying to communicate to you about who they are and what they need. You can better support, love, care for your partner when you know what it is they are actually wanting and needing. They will be a fan of yours for a long time with just this one tip.

You are sooooo welcome!

Wishing you all RAD love and RADICAL sex!

Originally posted at NatalieTheCoach.com


About Natalie Vartanian

Natalie Vartanian is a certified life coach, writer, speaker, sex, love and relationship expert, and co-host of Sex the Podcast. She knows it’s possible to have amazing love (and sex) in a way that works for you. She works with men around regaining their confidence around sex and relationship, couples looking to reclaim the intimacy, passion and play in their relationship, and women to believe in love again.


  1. Dana Leigh Lyman says:

    I love how proactive this advice is. I feel like too many people sit around bored and don’t do anything until they hit a snapping point, all the while wondering where the magic went.

    Reminds me of this quote: “When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.”
    ― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

    More than anything I love this advice because it brings happiness and fulfillment not just for the couple but for the individuals within the couple which is so essential and which people often kind of forget about on their road to being the “perfect couple”.

    • Dana – I love the quote you mentioned. So true!! We are responsible and what we put out we get back. Which is why I love this piece of the quote:

      “What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.”

      Thanks for sharing my dear!

  2. Beautifully said, Natalie.

    Many men and women wait to do these things until they are feeling the love from other and not one second before.

    It is these things that CAUSE those feelings of love. Someone has to go first! Let it be me.


    • You make such a great point about going first Steve. It reminds me of the analogies that we are the architects of our lives – what we do, how we are being really creates the outcomes.

      I have found this time and time again when in a situation … If I am not happy with what is going on or want to change the energy, I do something different and voila! I get something different.

      Thanks for commenting and sharing!

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