–––
My dear sweet baby boy,
There is so much I want to say. My words fail me at times. Sadly, over the course of your life some people may fail you too. I hope to not be one of them. I hope you will understand that sometimes your Mama is sad. I struggle with a juggling act where I carry too many balls, each plummeting from the air out of my control. There are days I watch you, and I cry. Those are my happy tears.
They told me I’d never have you, could never have you. Medical experts said I wouldn’t be able to carry you since I only have one functioning kidney. But, you were my dream. I saw you long before I understood who I was seeing. I knew one day you would be a reality despite the medical advice. Dreams do come true.
It was I who was unprepared. Some days, I am still not ready.
|
My neo natal specialist told me to have my bags during the Christmas before you were born. He was eager to take you. You weren’t scheduled to make your appearance until St. Patrick’s Day. We held out till Valentine’s Day, you and me together. We had to get those lungs ready to breathe. You were born an Aquarius, my water bearing air baby. You screamed only for a brief time after my final push, but you were ready. It was I who was unprepared. Some days, I am still not ready.
I want you to have the world. I will work my fingers bloody, my bones tired, and I will go without to ensure you have what is needed. There is one thing I can never prepare you to experience. This letter is written in order to soften the blow. I doubt it will. You are also my headstrong bull charging forth into life. You are tougher than I. You may not need these words, but they will be printed out and tucked away, just in case.
There will come a day when someone will try to defeat your dreams.
They will tell you every reason why you can’t do something, and they will offer no assistance or help. I call them “Dream Crushers.” You do not need these people in your life.
Maybe their parents didn’t believe in them.
|
I’ve been on this Earth for awhile now, and I still can’t understand why people can’t lift up others? I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t. Maybe their parents didn’t believe in them. Maybe their dreams were crushed too early and they stopped dreaming altogether. I can give you a thousand speculations as to why they may act this way.
The truth is, their opinion doesn’t matter. The only opinion you need to base yourself in is YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF. Once you form this opinion, I will believe in whatever you decide to do. Now, my belief in you ends when you start committing felonies or self harming. I don’t believe in those things.
If you decide to build a flying car, I support you.
Even if our creation never leaves the ground, we at least tried… you tried.
|
I expect you to work hard to reach your dreams, but I believe you can make whatever dream you desire into fruition. If you think you have a more efficient way to fly into space, then I will build spaceships with you. Even if our creation never leaves the ground, we at least tried… you tried. Out of everything in this world, do you know what matters the most to me? Your willingness to try. In trying, you at least attempted to make something wonderful. You tried at something to benefit a society instead of tearing it down. I see no fault in trying. Even if trying means failing.
You love Batman right now. I tell you every day, “You are Batman.” To me, you are Batman. In the movie “The Dark Knight” there is a quote:
“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
Don’t destroy something beautiful. Instead, add to its already existing beauty, make it stronger.
|
Unfortunately, this sentiment is true at times. Some men have no desire to build a better tomorrow. They do not want to see others succeed. They would love nothing more than to tear down cities, civilizations, and creations for the simple pleasure in watching things burn. I beg of you, please don’t become one of these men. Don’t destroy something beautiful. Instead, add to its already existing beauty, make it stronger. It is within these things I have the greatest hopes for you.
You can bring a torch to a city, but will you be there to rebuild a better one? The world is filled with people who have torches, yet… no one seems to willing to rebuild a better structure.
Even when I am no longer here to stand physically beside you, my spirit and memory will always believe in you.
|
I will teach you to love. I will always believe in you, unless you commit felonies and cause hurt or pain. Otherwise, you have one person on your team, forever and always. When two people stand together, they become a team. When in doubt, begin to build from there. Even when I am no longer here to stand physically beside you, my spirit and memory will always believe in you. This belief will last forever, throughout all your life. If you believe in great things, you can accomplish everything.
You have my love forever, even on the days I am sad. You were once my dream. You are living proof dreams can come true.
Love you more than all the universe,
Mama
Photo Credit: Getty Images
I love this pot Rachel. Such beautiful, heartfelt words to your sweet boy! ❤
A beautiful piece of writing! Glad the GMP published this. You keep on being a Mama and a Writer!
omg what a great letter!! I don’t have a little boy but I did really enjoy reading this ❤️❤️❤️
This is so beautiful. Your son is so lucky to have you. 🙂
Ashley, thank you. I never look at him being the lucky one (Oh, the Mama guilt I carry daily.) I never know if I am doing enough or being a good parent. Some days, I only hope to survive. But, I catch a glimpse of that little boy’s smile and wow… my eyes fill with happy tears. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words.
Beautifully written, Rachel. I know the exact feelings you are expressing here and this touched me very deeply. Well done.
Sandy, thank you. It made my heart very happy to read your comment this morning. I have so much hope in my heart that one day people will choose to lift up others instead of telling people what they can’t do. Thank you again, for reading and for your lovely words.
Great job Rachel…you keep writing! And what a lucky kid your son is.
Thank you, Jeremy. I have to write, I don’t know any other way to live. My son changed me, gave me a hope I had never seen before. I hope to live up to the hype as his Mama…but, I feel so lucky to have him. Thank you for reading and for the kind words. They are such a blessing.
Wonderful words for your son. No on understands what it means to be a mother until you become one. Your child will always come first and he will learn so very much from his mother. Stay a team with him and it will hopefully last all your life.
Wonderful writing! Keep it up because I enjoy your writings.
Becky, thank you for your kind words and for reading. This was one of my favorite pieces of writings. I hope my son and I always stay a team. May he know when someone tells him “he can’t,” he will always have a Mama saying “yes, you can.” Thank you again for talking. It is much appreciated.
Oh Rachel, my eyes are full of tears right now. That’s all I want, for my kids to believe that they are capable of anything and to know that I’m here to support them and cheer them on. This was beautiful. Now I’m going to go force my 14 year old to give me a hug.
Gretchen, he had better hug you. He has a wonderful mother constantly cheering and supporting. Thank you for the kind words, and I truly hope you get your hug. Am sending a virtual hug just in case. Thank you again, dear friend.
Just beautiful! You will teach your son some great lessons.
Melissa, thank you. I try every day to teach something, whether it’s how to eat with a fork or say something in French (I’m learning French along with him.) But we try, together. Thank you for reading and for the kind words always.
I love this one so much! You are such a strong, incredible mama, you must know he’s lucky to have you too!
Tarynn, thank you for the kind words. I hope so.. I truly hope to not fail him. Some days, I feel like I do. Constant Mama guilt. Thank you again for reading and for the kindness.
Leighann, YES THEY ARE. Little miracles come to life. I couldn’t imagine a world now without seeing my little boy’s smile in it. Thank you so much for reading and talking, and for the kind words.
they really are living proof that dreams come true aren’t they? Lovely writing.
I have a little boy and I just love this letter!
Alexa, thank you. I think all parents and children should never let the naysayers shut down their ambitions. A little hard work can go a long way. Thank you for reading and for the kind words!
This is beautiful! You are an incredible mother, you would give the world for your baby
Terri, thank you. I really would give the world. I try to write with beauty, but nothing can compare to the beauty and love that is my son. Thank you for reading and talking.
What a beautiful letter! I hope your son learns from his mom how to be a fighter!
Megan, thank you so much. I hope he does too (in a positive way.) Right now, he likes to fight about the fridge and the throwing of pudding out of the fridge 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting.