Grew Up as Girls, Married as Men

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About Justin Cascio

Justin Cascio is a writer, editor, and activist. He has written on food, lifestyle, gender, and sexuality for The Good Men Project, xoJane, and other publications; his work has been selected as Editor's Picks on Open Salon.
Justin is a former managing editor of The Good Men Project Magazine and editor of The Good Life, and a founding editor of You can follow him on Twitter, Google, and Facebook.


  1. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s really nice to see another trans guy featured on the GMP.

  2. Beautifully and clearly written. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences which are, no doubt, enormous help to people going through the same changes and wrestling with the same questions. I write about this very thing, though hidden deep in my new novel…a quirky mystery set in wacko Berkeley. Please check it out and pass it on. It’s getting great reviews!
    Best of luck and thanks again for this great piece, Justin.

  3. My friend (lesbian) married her partner (then a lesbian) in a lovely ceremony in their background. The partner then transitioned to a man. It was initially a struggle for my friend, since her intention was to marry a woman, but they’ve both transitioned to the new transition, if that makes sense, and are very happy.

    • I’ve known some for whom “love has no gender” and others where transition has been too much change for the marriage to bear. I’m glad it worked out for your friend and her spouse.

  4. “We transitioned to match our bodies to our feelings of already being men. Our sexual orientation is who we are attracted to. We married for love.”

    Beautiful. It doesn’t make sense that so many people don’t understand these concepts.

    • Indeed Aya, especially those who like I do, believe there is such a thing as biologically male and female brains. I always wonder at the logic of those who believe more strongly than i do in what feminists call ‘gender essentialism’. Yet refuse to accept that :
      1. That as with height, where men are on average taller than women, but there are some women who are taller than the average man. There is going to be a spectrum of masculinity and femininity found in male and female brains.
      While more male brains are masculine than female brains. Some male brains have more feminine circuitry than other male brains. Some female brains have more masculine circuitry than others female brains.
      2. That sometimes male brains are born in a female body ,and vice versa. The science is increasing showing this, and even their own logic should show that in their worldview, this would be the case.That nature is not perfect is clear eg. conjoined twins. Yet bigotry blinds them and leads them to believe in this sole case, that nature always without fail, puts a male brain in a male body.

  5. One oft-mistaken thing is confusing gender and sexual orientation. To me, these are two distinctly different things. You have a gender identity, and you have a sexual orientation. We should all be able to embrace these and live them as we see fit, even as we evolve and grow. Yes, it’s challenging to the straight-n-narrow path, but the thing is, living your life doesn’t actually challenge anyone else’s right to do the same. Being queer and trans and gay and bi (that’s me!) and poly doesn’t actually challenge being straight and monogamous.

    Love your story. Thank you for sharing!

  6. At least GMP is somewhat accepting of trans*people. Those gross feminazi’s like womenbornwomen are nutjobs about the subject. Good on you, though, at least you aren’t alienating most of your advocates.

  7. I’m glad you told your story, Justin, and I’m glad you found Kevin. This gives me hope.


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