Shawn Doyle contemplates the meaning of a legacy and challenges men to think about the one they’re leaving behind.
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I just recently turned 57 years old. I know that that’s not real old, and it’s not real young. Whenever I have a birthday however, it does give me pause to think about where I am and where I have been — kind of like the thought processes many people have a New Year’s Eve thinking about what has happened that year and what is going to happen the next one. Well, I do that on birthdays. One of the things I’ve been thinking about is what do I want my legacy to be? Hopefully l have 50 more years to live,( yes I am aiming for 107) but I have been thinking about what I’ll leave behind. In thinking about a legacy there are obviously several categories that I can think about:
[I hope] that she felt loved supported and taken care of and that me being her father helped her build her self-esteem and helped her feel good about herself as a person and as a woman.
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As a husband– what do I want my legacy to be as a husband? One of the things I would like my legacy to be for my wife is that I took care of her. I also want my legacy to be that she thought of me as a great husband who loved her, and showed the love and took care of her by making her life better, easier, more comfortable and that no matter what, I always had her back and showed support. That she loved that we shared our faith together. I want her to say we had so much fun, even in the little moments of life like doing errands. I also hope that she would say that Shawn being in her life made her a better person by being in her life, that I helped her grow and that I changed her life. So when you think about it, what would you like your legacy to be as a husband? At the end of the day, or end of your life what would you like your spouse to say about you?
As a dad– I only have one child, a daughter who is married and 30 years old. But when she thinks about me as a father both now and in the future what do I want her to think? Hopefully she will say that I am a good father and took good care of her growing up. I would also hope that she would say that I taught her a lot of valuable life lessons and that I spent time with her to help her grow, and that I had a significant impact on her as a human being in terms of who she is. I would hope she would say that her dad is a good man and I was kind and took good care of the family. That she felt loved supported and taken care of and that me being her father helped her build her self-esteem and helped her feel good about herself as a person and as a woman. What would you like your legacy as a dad to be? At the end of your life what will you want your children to say about you?
As a son– I hope that is a son, first and foremost that my parents would be proud of me and who I have turned out to be as a person. I also hope that they would be proud of me and what I’ve been able to accomplish both personally and professionally. Most of all I hope that they just say that I turned out to be a good person who treats other people well and carries with me the morals and values that they taught me, and that who I am is greatly a reflection of who they are in the way that they raised me. I also want my parents to feel like in their later years that I took good care of them and showed them how much I appreciated everything they’ve done for me. As a son what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want your parents to say about you? How would you want them to describe their beloved son?
As a family member– I hope that other members of my family would say that I am a good person and that Shawn being in their life as a brother or an Uncle or a cousin made a difference to them in some way large or small. That they are proud that I am a member of their family and that they know that if they needed me I could be counted on when the chips are down, and that I could be counted on to celebrate with them when they have life victories and accomplishments. I would hope my friends would say the same. As a family member, how would you want your family to describe you? How would you want them to remember you?
To the world, what would you want your legacy to be? What are your goals and what do you want the world to be able to say about you?
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To the world– I wonder — is it arrogant to think that I can leave a legacy to the world? Is that even possible in such a big world? I am not completely sure. It is my hope that someday somewhere in the future someone will pick up one of my 18 books and read something and it will have an impact on their life.
I hope that some of the people that I have trained in training classes across America will say that I had a positive impact on their life. I know this is a little true, because every now and then I do get an email from someone who says “I was in your class four years ago and I remembered what you said about motivation. Just so you know, your motivation ideas helped me leave my job and have now started my own company.” I also hope that one of my coaching clients will tell someone else in the future, that one of their turning points in their life personally or professionally was the coaching experience that they had with me. To the world, what would you want your legacy to be? What are your goals and what do you want the world to be able to say about you?
So take a few moments this week and take a break from the business of life, and think about your legacy in all of these different categories. This also can be a great compass to look at for you, to help shape the direction of your life because if you want your legacy live, and you can shape your life around building your legacy, it gives you a feeling that your life can and does truly matter. Make it count.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Shawn, let me thank you for these thoughts about leaving a legacy behind. Your words are truly inspired. As I read this piece, I cried. My Father passed away 36 years ago today. I still remember him and his legacy. I remember specific discussions that we had on this very topic.
Shawn, I thank you for helping me to relive those moments again with my father, and hearing his voice, once again!
Kevin
Thanks for your wonderful comments. This is why I write to reach out to people. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.