It Can’t Be All About The Kids

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Nathan Graziano

Nathan Graziano lives in Manchester, New Hampshire. He is the author of three collections of poetry---Not So Profound (Green Bean Press, 2003), Teaching Metaphors (Sunnyoutside Press, 2007) and After the Honeymoon (Sunnyoutside Press, 2009)—a collection of short stories, Frostbite (GBP, 2002), and several chapbooks of fiction and poetry. A chapbook of short prose pieces titled Hangover Breakfasts was recently published by Bottle of Smoke Press this fall. For more information, visit his website at NathanGraziano,com.


  1. A refreshing entry Nathan. Emotion without “shock and awe”. Smooth like wisdom.

  2. A recall someone saying ‘kids are on loan but you and your partner are forever (or something Rilke this). This highlighting the need to always have a keen eye on your relationship because long after your kids grow up you will have each to continue to share your life with. And this is only one reason. Parents having a great relationship and being their own people is the best thing for the whole family.
    Everyone needs their Block Island! Great article.

  3. Nate Graziano says:

    Thanks. I truly believe that helicopter parenting breeds resentment between couples. If we are only going to focus on the role of parent then we should, in theory, just find a person who is genetically compatible and mate. Then we can get down to the “business” of strictly being a parent and forget about the role as spouse. I tend to think the latter role is more difficult. I have struggled with it.

  4. Great article, Nate.

    I have a few friends in this boat and this is probably the biggest reason why I’ve been married for 6 years and still don’t have any kids. I’m definetely afraid of how it changes the dynamic of partners.

    More to this, I guess, are my friends who feel they have to stay in a marriage because of the kids. They do not see any better alternative, not even working on themselves and deciding what they want. I’ve been told by them that what they want is a moot point now that they have children. That just never has seemed right to be. Maybe I just don’t get it.

    Thanks for sharing!

Speak Your Mind