One reader writes to a fellow man whose wife came out as a lesbian.
Brassyhub, in response to After 33 Years of Marriage, My Wife Came Out, by advice columnist Amy Daves:
The original story in the article, with the question, is mine, Joe. Like you, I had fears that I didn’t want to explore or confirm. I hoped that her ‘same sex attractions’ would go away; I knew that she was struggling with them. The really tough thing is not being desired. But my current therapist has helped me to understand that there can indeed be love without desire. My wife DOES love me; she just doesn’t desire me. I suspect that, like me, you’re not ‘desperate to be married to a lesbian’, but that you’re still in love with someone who happens to be a lesbian.
Two thoughts that have helped me. Firstly, my wife hasn’t changed. She’s still the same person, but I just know a little more about her. And secondly, there are no answers or miracle solutions, only choices. A third thought on my horizon is ‘nothing is for ever’.
Join the conversation. Comments welcome.
Photo: Valerie Everett/Flickr
I’ve been curious to see what comments others had on this topic. I got tired of waiting. Since reading this article thoughts have been rolling around the back of my mind like a spilled bag of marbles. Here is my effort to pull them together. I’ve been hesitant to speak up because of the many strong opinions promoting the need for “authenticity” and I had no desire to quarrel. Yet I feel it is important to encourage and support where I can. In that spirit I share my experience: Two years ago I came out as openly gay. Next month… Read more »