No one gets through life on their own. Men need other men as mentors as well as friends.
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We all hear the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” at some point in our youth. Some of us might even be presented with that thought well into our twenties, and that is OK. Deciding on a career or life choice is a big deal, it shouldn’t be pondered lightly. Ironically, that quizzical thought usually brings out our first inkling toward a role model, or mentor. It matters not if we are considering a career in public service, military, or business, whatever choice we make will likely be inspired by someone we know, or have seen.
A mentor should be someone we gain knowledge from that makes an impact on our choices in life.
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Now, the term “mentor” is not something we often hear in today’s busy world, but it is still very much an active role, being performed on a daily basis. Realistically, a mentor can be a parent, professor, business partner, fraternity advisor, supervisor, or even a sibling. Our personal source of mentoring can be anyone who makes a memorable impact in our mind, whom we choose to admire, and learn from.
We may not even think about being mentored, but at some point and time, it happens. Mentoring is just one of those realities about growing up, that we cannot get past without experiencing. Whatever role we choose to play as adults is a behavior we must learn from somewhere. There is just no way around it — we all need a mentor.
The Morals of Mentoring
A mentor should be someone we gain knowledge from that makes an impact on our choices in life. This person does not have to be multiple decades older than us, nor are they required to be a master in their own industries field. The only actual requirement is “influence.” That is right — a mentor influences our decisions on some level.
The person we choose as our personal mentor does not have to be the same gender as us. However, there are some key things that men can only learn from men, and women can only learn from other women. That is just another of those cold, hard, life facts. Throughout the ages, boys have grown up emulating their Fathers, Step Fathers, and Grandfathers. Women have done the same with their female counterparts. If nothing else, the mentor can provide guidance and morality.
Most Advisable Masculine Mentors
We all embrace a role model into our lives at some point, but the reasoning will often vary. Some of us need an actual advisor to show us the ropes in life or career, while others may just need a friend. There is no one category of mentor, but instead are many, catering to the uniqueness of us, as individuals. The way the lessons are taught will often be different, but there are around four actual mentor “labels” though methods, morals and mindset will likely vary.
Business Before Pleasure, a Professional Role
Choosing a career is an enormous decision, and once made, we need to make the best of it. Bonding with a seasoned professional of the same classification can help us to learn the ropes a lot more quickly and easily. Office politics can be a real challenge for someone new to the office, but a mentor can fill in the politico blanks, helping to keep us out of trouble. Bonding with a business role model usually means we can expect the truth about our performance, and the steps needed to obtain our own goals. Not to mention the right professional mentor can not only advise us, but sometimes help us move up within the industry. The acceptance of an industry professional as a mentor is essential for those of us who want to evolve, and move forward in our career at a quicker pace.
Mentee and the Brain Mentor
The mind is a powerful tool, and a terrible thing to waste. Any brain-oriented mentor will gladly state this as a fact. Our intellectual side can be what makes us succeed in life, especially with the right guidance. Those that choose an intellectual role model will often find themselves reading resourceful self help books, researching beneficial information, and expanding their mindset. The brain mentor will encourage us to move beyond the now, and take our intelligence as far as literally possible.
Wisdom of the Ancients Mentor
With age comes wisdom, though there are some exceptions to that rule. Thinking on the positive side of that coin, those that embrace an elder mentor will often find themselves blessed with decades of knowledge. The wisdom of the ancients can contain everything from ways to join public/secret society fraternal orders, like Masons, to unusual life lessons and facts. They can teach us ways to build a sturdy building, or make the perfect tree house for our own kids. The bottom line when it comes to bonding with an older role model is there is no actual limit to potential benefits.
Mentors of the Soul
At some point in life we step onto a soul, or spiritual journey. This doesn’t necessarily mean a religious path, as spirituality and religion can be very different things. During these times we can have questions that require a voice of reason that can be trusted. This is where the mentor of the soul will come in handy. This can be Sensei at a Dojo, a monk at the local monastery, a priest, or just a trusted comrade on the same road we happen to be on. This person can be a true life saver when we struggle with perspectives in regards to the spiritual realm. Realistically, we all need something to believe in, and the benefits of a mentor of the soul can prevent feelings of loneliness and lack of faith in our path.
From Mentee to Mentor
Someday we will evolve from someone who needs the help of a mentor, to one who actually mentors. This is an evolution that can take decades, but eventually, we will have learned something worth teaching others. All men learn, and all men bestow what they have learned upon another. It is just part of who we are. We might be an elder brother who teaches our siblings to fish, or leads a Scout troop. We could organize youth activities, work related projects, or social interactions. The possibilities vary depending on each individual, what we learned and who we became.
The Meaningfulness of Mentoring
In the end, we all have someone that we respect, and look up to in life. As Dale Thomas Vaughn wrote in Grown Men Need Mentorship Too;
“A mentor embodies everything a mentee is trying to learn. Having the right mentor is like having a personal private library about specific subject matter that you can call up.”
The best gift we can give ourselves is the acceptance of role models wisdom. The benefits can be boundless, the lessons enlightening, and the end result, successful. That combination opens the door to happiness, and that is ultimately what we all strive for in life.
“Our personal mentor does not have to be the same gender as us…” For a while I was having panic attacks and a general uneasiness brought on by a stalking episode…that threw me into the unlikely setting of a karate dojo with an uber- masculine sensei….we came from such different backgrounds and yet he understood better than anybody else at that time…he was the one who helped me work through my anxiety and feelings of vulnerability in a threatening urban environment….it took some months and then some years to progress through a range of emotions and physical challenges….I feel different… Read more »