The Clitoris, Demystified

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About She Said He Said

Eli and Josie, friends since college, realized how lucky they were to have one another—an honest friend of the opposite sex who tells it like it is. They wanted to share that with the world and so www.shesaidhesaid.me was born.

Comments

  1. That was hot.

  2. It isn’t actually known how many nerves are in the clitoris, the claim that it has more nerves that the penis is very common but has no evidence behind it.
    It is quite likely the penis has more nerves because it consists not only of the same tissue as the clitoris but of the labia (the part of the genitalia that would develop into a labia in the female fuses together,there is even a visible seam running down the centre of a penis.) It seems the labia majora are homologous to the testicles and the labia minora is in part homologous to the penis, fused to the foreskin and shaft.

    • Actually, no. The testicles are homologous to the ovaries, with the embryonic labial fold forming the scrotum around them (while it forms both labia in the female). The skin around the penis is, AFAIK, just typical skin.

  3. Well done! I am going to share this and put it into my eNewsletter with attribution, of course. Every MAN and WOMAN should consider this REQUIRED reading an an operating manual for the clitoris. The clit only has one purpose… to give us an orgasm. No other functionality. WORK IT OUT and if you follow these intructions, the rest will happen magically. Thank you, Chrystal Bougon

  4. Very informative, thank-you.

  5. I’m always sad to hear of a man who doesn’t have all the common sense necessary to already answer this question. To me, it says that you’re not communicating enough with your partner, and/or you’re not paying attention to her body language. Great piece though! I assume anyone who didnt know this or couldn’t figure it out will have a great launching off point from here.

  6. “…actually there are more nerve endings in that teeny area than in your whole penis!”

    Only if he was mutilated at birth. The foreskin has 20,000 nerve endings, more than twice the amount of the average clitoris.

  7. clitorises, like the rest of human’s bodies, come in many shades and colors

    when you refer to “pink” clits, you narrow the focus to pale folks only

    • Excuse my ignorance of skin colours, but is it the clitoral hood that varies in colour or the clitoris as well? I was under the impression the clitoris itself is pink in pretty much everyone of every race but the clitoral hood varies?

      • Joanna Schroeder says:

        Interesting. Between Eli and I we have seen some pretty wide variety of vulva… Not yet seen a clit or a vagina that wasn’t pink, or at least beige-y pink. Maybe the hood isn’t pink? Could be wrong, though!

        • Joanna Schroeder says:

          Double-checking with Eli, who has more experience with women than I do.

          • Joanna, try a web search… I won’t tell you which words will get you images of the genitalia of African diaspora women, but I’m sure you can figure some out.

            • All clitorii? of black women I’ve seen are pink with a darker skin hood. Never ever ever seen a non-pink clitoris and I’ve probably seen 1000′s of images of vulva (I’m not a gyno so haven’t seen that many IRL :P)

            • Joanna Schroeder says:

              Well, we agree that we aren’t all that sure exactly what the range of colors of the external clitorises is… You don’t really even see it in porn, more the hood which certainly varies in color.

              Assuming that it is an organ, and it’s not like a darker-skinned woman’s liver is a different color than a lighter skinned woman’s liver, we assume it to be pink.

              However, as far as we can tell, we do not have a great answer to this question!

            • Questions like these burn in my mind, I hate not knowing! I’m going to guess they’re all pinky fleshy organ colour, with different colour hoods.

  8. wellokaythen says:

    Very well done. If only I had this article 20 years ago….

    Good point about how it is the only organ in humans that seems to have no other function but pleasure. I don’t believe in intelligent design, but that makes me have second thoughts on the matter.

    • FlyingKal says:

      Regarding the “intelligent” design, someone said:
      “God must’ve been an civil engineer. Why? Because who else would’ve thought of running a toxic waste pipe straight thru a recreational area…”

    • FlyingKal says:

      That should have been “Regarding the “intelligent” design of our genital areas” …

  9. wellokaythen says:

    Saw the wikipedia entry. May I say that Wikipedia has come a long way from its early days. An entire paragraph on the clitoris of the hyena. No laughing matter.

  10. Technical note – the “glans” of the clitoris is the externally visible portion, homologous to the head of the penis. The internal structure is quite complex and 3D, but can be imagined as an upside-down Y with the last few centimeters of the unified bit bent down (see the image on wikipedia). The “crura” (singular “crus”) are the arms of the Y, composed of one of the two types of erectile tissue (the other is only present in men), and actually are tightly adhered to the hip bones. You can feel two nubs of bone that you sit on – the arms of the clit run from just behind the externally visible portion almost to those nubs.

  11. Dammit! The Survey pop-up ad killed my comment-in-progress when it “returned to the previous page”!

  12. This is a very informative post….and I thought I was a well-informed owner! Thank you

    In my experience, the most important ingredients in ongoing “great sex” are 1) emotional connection, 2) knowing what works (and what doesn’t) for you, 3) being able to communicate that in a way your partner can understand *in the moment*, and 4) using that information to get the “mutual geometry” right, for the two of you.
    Ideally, size, shape, angle and sensitivity (of the penis, the clitoris, the vagina – and the brain!) all work together for the “greater good”.

  13. Alyssa Royse says:

    EXCELLENT. One other tip that I’ve had great luck with when talking to men about the clitoris in their lives…. Think of it as a little tiny penis. The button is the head, but it also has a shaft, which is long and extends into the tunnel out of which the head will poke when aroused. That shaft often likes a good hand job, which is really just a thumb and forefinger stroking it in the same way you would stroke a penis. In fact, almost anything that feels good on a man’s penis, will feel good on the head and shaft of the clitoris (think, little tiny, super powerful, penis.) That may change the way you perform oral sex on a woman, and the way you use your fingers and toys during foreplay, after play and penetrative intercourse. Yay, clits!

  14. Thanks for this! I’m sad to say that as a woman, I’m still not completely comfortable with my vulva and what stimulates pleasure for me. My lack of sex education has really left me feeling disconnected from my genitals and it’s difficult in sexual relationships because I don’t know exactly what I like/want. This is helping me to familiarize myself with my body, something I’ve been working on. It’s crazy that the clit is still such a mystery to so many people.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] The Clitoris, Demystified - A reader asks sex columnists She Said He Said for instructions on how to handle the world’s most mysterious sex organ. [...]

  2. [...] would bring it pleasure. Hell, I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t even know where my own clitoris was. It became clear to me that I was completely uncomfortable and unfamiliar with my own [...]

  3. [...] not to wince while cooing in supposed pleasure. So instead of bludgeoning us with your tongue, start feather gentle and build up. Your woman’s breathing and sounds of pleasure (which happen well beyond the thirty second mark) [...]

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